37.
Beware Scapegoat Groundhog!
Before
Mikey could shake the cow patty from his shoe, the local police arrived. An ambulance, a firetruck, and several news vans
followed. The farmer told the reporters he was glad nobody was hurt, but he
couldn’t figure out how the accident happened. The road was wide and straight
in front of his property.
The farmer’s
son recorded the arrest, added background music, and posted the video
online. It went viral. Everybody wanted
to see the junior high school principal fail the breathalyzer as a curious cow
looked on.
As Mikey
sat in the back of the police car, he said to the officer, “Stupid &^#$* groundhog!
I swerved to miss him, and ended up in the field.”
The officer
said, “You’re blaming it on the groundhog? He’s your scapegoat?” He shook his
head and laughed. “Better get a really good attorney if that’s your defense.
You blew a .16”
Mikey
rolled his eyes and thought, ‘Sheila’s gonna blame this on drinking on not the
*&^# rodent that ran in front of me.’ With that his denial took on the form of the
scapegoat groundhog, a beast that almost killed him.
Today
I’ll beware of scapegoats – they can be more dangerous than lions or bears.
Mikey,
Repulsive, and Repugnant (c) 2016 by Ken Montrose
Mikey,
Repulsive, and Repugnant is a work of fiction. Any
resemblance between the characters and anyone you might know is purely
coincidental.
Other works by Ken
Montrose are available at: