Novella

 

First Mistake

I went to a speaker meeting that night.  The speaker had been five years sober when he decided he wanted one more night out.

The next day he was still a little drunk when he saw blood on his bumper. The bumper hung lower on the side with a dent in the hood.  He panicked.

The man got a gas can from his shed and soaked the inside of the car, planning to destroy what he thought was the evidence of a hit and run.  He ran into his house to get a match.

When he came back, he took one more look at his bumper and saw tiny brown hairs.  He’d hit a deer.

He set the car on fire anyway, figuring he’d never be able to drive it again because of the strong gasoline smell.

The insurance company’s investigator needed about three minutes to figure out the fire was deliberate.

He spent 18 months in jail and two years on probation.

“My first mistake wasn’t panicking at the sight of the blood on my bumper,” he said. “My first mistake was thinking I needed one more drink.”

I mentally made a list of initial mistakes that often ended badly.

Trying the drug just once. Driving a little drunk. Ignoring the chest pain. Lying on a tax form. Texting the toxic ex. Taking one, maybe two more than prescribed. 

Letting the dog up on the bed just this once.

The list went on.

“It’s that first mistake that kills you,” I said to no one in particular.

Today I’ll try not to make that first mistake.

  

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Do The Next Right Thing

When I got to work the next day, my code didn’t work on the front entrance.  I went to a side door. My code worked, but the back door to the office suite was locked and I didn’t have that key.

I called building maintenance. They would try to send someone out.

Two hours later I walked into my office.  I looked at my list of deadlines and 2Do’s, and cursed.  

“I am so behind,” I said to my laptop.  

My laptop made a little whirring noise, its way of sighing.

I started worrying about how much I couldn’t get done, but stopped myself.

“Do the Next Right Thing,” I said, quoting an AA slogan.  I didn’t get everything done, but a little of my anxiety melted away with each thing I did.

 

Today I will Do the Next Right Thing.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

Oldies But Goodies

That night I watched a movie with Dr. Deb, remembering when we were young and broke. TV movies were the only entertainment we could afford.

Now that we could go out, we stayed home, never getting tired of each other’s company.

 My phone buzzed. I laughed out loud as I traded insulting texts with an old friend.  Friends got old, but some friendships never did.

The cat curled up on my lap. His purring was one of the most soothing sounds I’d ever heard.  He was getting old, but his relaxing presence wasn’t.

There were things in life that got old quickly. I was grateful for all the good parts that didn’t.

Today I’ll be grateful for things that don’t get old.

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Novella

 

Take Care

I got a call from someone asking if I could recommend a therapist.

Her brother had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She had thought his forgetfulness was due to his heavy drinking.  The alcohol had only worsened his diabetes.

“I’m the only one he’s got,” she said, “and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  I kinda resent him. I need to talk to someone to help me sort this out.”   

Knowing she had a tough road ahead, she was determined to take care of herself.

“I’m no good to him if I don’t take care of me,” she said.

I thought her situation was extreme, but many of us would be wise to take better care of ourselves, for our own sake, and for others around us.

Today I will take care of me.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

Life on Life’s #$%@# Terms

Some days don’t go according to plan. The next day, I’d forgotten to set my alarm, slept in.

After I replaced a flat tire, I left my laptop at home and had to return from work to get it. By the time I got back I forgot all about the conference call I’d set up.  I was too busy crying over the broken Keurig.

The afternoon didn’t go much better.

“Life on life’s terms,” I said to my laptop. “You have to accept things aren’t always going to go your way.”

I said it, but I wasn’t really feeling it. I’d let petty annoyances seem like major issues.

I got a call just before I left that put things in perspective.

Today I will accept life on life’s terms.

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Novella

NOVELLA

Wasted

I felt a great sense of accomplishment as I showered. It was 6:30 a.m., I’d cleared half a dozen sidewalks, and no new snow was predicted.

Certain clouds had missed the weather forecast.  

In the time it took me to get ready for work, half an inch of new snow fell, with more coming down.

At first, I thought my effort was wasted, but changed my mind.

At the very least every good effort can be the start of a good habit, like helping out your neighbors.

 

Today I’ll remember no good effort is truly wasted.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Novella

 

Try, Try, Try Again

“You’ve been staring at that laptop for fifteen minutes,” Dr. Deb said as we sat on the couch.

“Has it been that long?”

“At least.”

I sighed. “The first chapter of the novella reads like a short-story. The smart thing to do would be to submit it to a magazine.”

“So why don’t you?”

“Because there’s a good chance it will be rejected everywhere I send it.”

“But if you don’t submit, there’s no chance you’ll get published.”

She had a point.

“But,” I started to say, drawing a blank.  

“And if you hadn’t risked rejection, you never would have asked me out.”

“I knew you were going to say yes,” I said, knowing that wasn’t quite the truth.

Her eyes didn’t roll out of her head, but it was close. It had taken me months to work up the courage to approach her.

“Even though you knew getting sober was going to be a struggle, you tried. If you hadn’t, where would you be right now?”

I got her point. You have to at least try.

 

Today I will try.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Investment Strategies

“Don’t forget,” Dr. Deb said, “we’re meeting with the retirement planner on Saturday.”

“As if I’d forget something that important,” I said, even though I had.  “Besides, I have our retirement plan figured out.”

I told her about Sam and the chinchilla farm.  We agreed we’d still see the planner.

“Time and money,” I said to myself.

“What are you saying?” Dr. Deb asked.

“I’m glad to get advice on managing money.  I was lucky enough to have people show me the importance of managing my time. Time spent on my family, my recovery, and my job have paid huge dividends.”

I knew too many people whose addictions left little for them to invest in other parts of their life.  

Today I’ll invest my time wisely.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Bottle Fatigue

“Sharon’s getting divorced,” Dr. Deb said over dinner.

Sharon was an acquaintance who’d recently gotten married for the third time.

“Why?” I asked.  I expected to hear he was cheating, maybe gambling, possibly abusive.

“He collects old glass bottles from the 1800s.”

“You’re kidding.”

Dr. Deb shook her head. “Nope, that’s it.  I met him. Great guy.  There was a lot to like about him.”

“Ah, but he has a problem with the bottle,” I said, laughing at my own joke. “He’s all bottled up inside. Life’s a daily bottle for him.”

Dr. Deb rolled her eyes. “Are you done?”

I nodded, and said, “If you want to be happy, it pays to focus on what you like about people.”

 

Today I’ll focus on what I like about people.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Coconut Bars Aren’t Kayaks, but…

At the end of a long day, I said to my laptop, “Maybe I should treat myself now and then, because why not?”

‘I think I’m going to treat myself,” I texted Dr. Deb as I walked to my car.

‘Finally going to get that kayak?’ Dr. Deb asked. I had been looking at fishing kayaks for years but couldn’t seem to pull the trigger on buying one.

‘I’m gonna get coconut bars from the fancy schmancy bakery.’

Laughing emoji. ‘I think you deserve a kayak, but I guess coconut bars are OK.’

I texted back, ‘You don’t have to tie them to your roof, and you’re unlikely to drown while eating one.’

Smiling emoji, ‘Blueberry muffin, please.’ I got her two.

 

Today I will treat myself.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Toad You So

The next day I was at the gym. I looked into the steam room. Empty. 

I sat down, shut my eyes, and smiled, relishing the quiet.

I heard the door open.  I looked up, hoping it wasn’t Toad. Of course, it was.

Toad, I didn’t know his real name, liked to talk, but never seemed to listen. He always seemed to show up when I most wanted to sit quietly with my own thoughts.

We sat in silence for a minute.

“You know what the hardest part of changing anything is?” he asked.

“Being patient with your progress,” I said.

“No. It’s being patient with your progress.”  

Knowing he hadn’t heard what I’d just said made tuning him out much easier. I let him ramble on and on as I thought about changes that take time.

Eating healthier doesn’t change your physique overnight.

Sometimes you have to set boundaries for other people again and again before they respect them.

Getting in shape can be a slow process.

People who stay sober are the ones who learn over time to be comfortable without alcohol. Like the slogan says, Time Takes Time.

The trick was to be patient with your progress.

 

Today I will be patient with my progress.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

“Chinchilla, chinchilla, chin, chin, cheree…”

Two minutes later I got a text from Sam. He said I was right. Raising ferrets was a bad idea. He was going to breed chinchillas.

I started to text him back, thinking I’d use logic to show him raising chinchillas was every bit as bad an idea as starting a ferret farm in his apartment.

Deep down, I knew I was wasting my time. I’d made my point with the ferrets. Time to let it go, before arguing ruined my day.

I ignored the text, and looked into groups that helped find homes for chinchillas.

I started thinking of other things I needed to let go; petty resentments, people pleasing, worry about the future, etc.

Today I will let go of something.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Short-Run, Long-Run, Bored Dog

Even though I’d saved the world, or at least some of Pittsburgh’s suburbs, from the ferret horde, I felt bad. I hadn’t wanted to hurt Sam’s feelings.

On the other hand, I thought I’d probably saved him from a furry disaster in the making.

I said to the dog, “Doing the right thing is the opposite of an addiction.”

She cocked her head to the side.

“When you feed that addiction, you may feel good in the short-run, but suffer in the long-run. Doing the right thing feels bad in the short-run, but has benefits in the long-run.”

I started to tell her how getting sober had been difficult at first, but had turned my life around. She rolled over and went to sleep. She’d heard my story before.

 

Today I may suffer a little in the short-run to benefit in the long-run.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Ferrets and Painful Truths

I wondered what Sam wanted to start, and not finish, this time.  I called him.

He had been considering breeding ferrets.  His enthusiasm was inspiring.  For just a second, I wanted to tell him it was a great idea, maybe even ask if I could invest in his project.

Play the tape through, I thought, remembering the AA slogan. How does this end?

I had a horrible image of a ferret army overrunning smaller boroughs in Pittsburgh’s northern suburbs.  Tiny, pointy faces popping up in windows, terrifying the elderly.  Cats and dogs refusing to go outside.

I told Sam I thought ferret breeding was a terrible idea.  I could hear the hurt in his voice.

Later, I said to the cat, “Sometimes you gotta tell people things they don’t want to hear.”

I thought of all the people who’d told me I had a drinking problem. I hadn’t wanted to hear them either, but they’d made me think. I was grateful for them.

 

Today I may have to tell someone something they don’t want to hear.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

The Path of Least Persistence

I checked my messages and groaned. Sam.

Sam was like the guy psyching himself up to flip the giant tire, except he never actually lifted anything.

He had a gym membership he never used. He paid for online courses he never started.  He had a library of self-improvement books he never read.

He reminded me of the people who got an AA meeting list, but never went.

He was on the Path of Least Persistence, abandoning his good intentions the moment he had to make some effort.

“The trouble with the Path of Least Persistence,” I said to the dog, “is there are so many branches. You just keep turning onto a new one, not noticing time is passing and you’re getting nowhere.”

 

Today I’ll stay off the Path of Least Persistence.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Just A Moment

When I was done writing, I took a moment to savor that small success, glad I hadn’t let frustration stop me.

I knew people who got things done, but never seemed to get any satisfaction from it. They moved from one project to the next, scampering past any sense of accomplishment.

I thought they were cheating themselves.

I didn’t want to sprain my arm patting myself on the back. I also didn’t want to stop the moving forward on the next project, but I thought I deserved a moment of satisfaction.

I thought of all the people I knew in recovery. I hoped they found a little satisfaction in staying sober one day, whether it was their first day, or their 10,000^th.

 

Today I’ll find a moment’s satisfaction before I move on.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible