Fawlty Showers will return on Monday.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 30, 2020
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Sustain
Cuddles the cat walked past my door and meowed. M.A.
scurried after him. In ten minutes they returned.
M.A. disappeared under my desk. I heard a scratching noise
and opened the top drawer. M.A.’s tiny head popped out. I noticed he’d gathered five or six Gummi
Bears into a pile next to my pens.
“Saving for a rainy day?” I asked the well-fed, bordering on
chubby, ferret.
M.A.’s brain was literally the size of a pea. Yet he knew to gather, polish, and/or hoard
whatever sustains you. Faith, habit, self-discipline, friends, the skills to be
self-reliant; it payed to develop them whenever you could.
If the pandemic of ’20-’21 had taught us anything, it was
life could be full of surprises, not all of them good. Best to be prepared just
in case.
Today I will gather, polish, and/or hoard whatever sustains me.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Monday, December 28, 2020
Does This Make You Uncomfortable?
My office was warm and quiet. My eyelids seemed to be taking
on weight. A cup of coffee later, I still
felt sleep stalking me. I opened
a window.
In ten minutes my office was a chilly 60 degrees. Not so
cold I shivered, but uncomfortable. I
had another cup of coffee and started to write.
“Sometimes,” I said to M.A., “you gotta be a little uncomfortable
to get things done. You want to lose a little weight? You gotta be a little hungry. You want a sober life? You gotta get through
those early days of restlessness and cravings.”
M.A. nodded his tiny head in agreement, or at least I
thought he did.
“Because,” I continued, “waiting on the other side is
something that feels ten times better than whatever you had to endure.”
Today I’ll accept being a little uncomfortable.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Thursday, December 24, 2020
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
Fawlty Showers
The Gentle Slope of the Wrong Path
The next day I started working on my workbook. I needed a
little information on brain chemistry. I started to type hippocampus, but
stopped at hippo, just out of curiosity.
I wasted more than an hour reading about hippos, crocodiles,
and African rivers.
“Down the wrong path
again,” I said to my laptop. “People talk about a slippery slope. I don’t think
it’s all that slippery. You’d notice yourself slipping. I think the wrong path is more of a gentle
downhill grade. You hardly notice you’re going down.”
My laptop didn’t say anything.
“A glass of wine with dinner, a harmless flirtation, a
single scratch-off ticket – whatever your weakness is, the wrong path often
starts on nearly level ground but leads you lower.
“Being easily distracted is my ‘wrong path’,” I said. “But
this is partially your fault.”
Today I’ll beware of the gentle downhill slope of the wrong
path.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Call it a Day
By the time Marti left, the day was almost over. I hadn’t
written a line. I also hadn’t wasted a minute.
I thought about working into the evening. I wasn’t up
against a deadline, but I still thought I should have gotten more done.
“What would I say to a good friend?” I asked my laptop. “I’d
say you did the best you could. Be happy with it. Tomorrow’s another day.”
I packed up my laptop and called it a day.
Today I’ll be satisfied doing the best I can do.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Monday, December 21, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Filter
Marti stopped by my office. “Abigail says I absolutely need
rehab, but I’m not sure.”
“Check your filters,” I said. “What information do you
accept, what do you filter out?”
“My filters?”
“Here’s how my
filters worked when I was drinking. If I liked the source, I’d let the
information pass. If I liked the information, I’d let it pass. If doing
something about the information seemed painful, I’d filter it out.”
“Like how?”
“I loved the people saying I didn’t have a problem, so I
accepted their information. I loved the idea of being a social drinker, so I
accepted anything indicating I had some control of my drinking.”
I took a sip of my coffee and continued. “I hated the idea of getting sober. I filtered
out evidence I had a drinking problem, blaming everything else for my disaster
of a life.”
“I didn’t want to be alone,” Marti said, pursing her lips. “I
filtered out all indications my boyfriend was a POS.”
Today I’ll check my filters.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Friday, December 18, 2020
Lighten Up
At the end of the day Abigail passed me in the hall as I was
leaving work. “How was court?” I asked her.
“It went as expected,” she said.
“You OK?”
“I’m fine.” She forced a smile as a single tear gathered in
the corner of her eye. She explained the
story her aunt had spun of the devoted sister taking in her brother’s abandoned
daughter, giving up her prime earning years for the sake of the child.
“Seriously? Your aunt
should be in jail.” I told my own tale of her aunt going to jail, being
deloused, and having her head shaved. I threw in a graphic description of a
cavity search performed by an angry guard on her fourth cup of coffee.
Abigail smiled a real smile.
I couldn’t help her in any meaningful way, but I thought for just a
moment I had lightened her load. I wished I could do more.
Today I will try to lighten someone’s burden, if just for a
moment.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Thursday, December 17, 2020
“I Can’t Get No…”
I woke up the next day to eight inches of new snow. Whatever
desire I had to be an adult that day drained from my body.
Someone needed to shovel the snow. Abigail and Randy were in
court that day. They were relying on me
to generally hold down the fort. I’d promised Dr. Deb I’d unclog a slow drain.
“Or,” I said to the dog, “I could call in sick, read my
book, and later watch a football game between teams with more than one
direction in their name. The Northeast
Idaho State Wiley Weasels versus the Southwest Louisiana Marauding Mugwamps.”
I got dressed, shoveled the snow, went to work, and later
unclogged the drain. Instead of feeling guilty and lazy, I felt satisfied I’d
met my responsibilities.
Today I’ll find the satisfaction in meeting my responsibilities.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Wednesday, December 16, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Misstakes
That night Dr. Deb watched a movie while I read a book.
“Yes!” I said. “The author used ‘illicit’ when she meant ‘elicit.’”
“And that makes you happy?” Dr. Deb asked me, laughing. “You’re
getting stranger every year.”
“I can’t tell you how often I find a mistake after I’ve
posted something. It’s usually something
I’ve gone over two or three times. Drives me up the wall.”
“And?”
“Her novel was published by one of the big New York firms.
It was probably proofread half a dozen times. It’s good to know I’m not the only
one who makes those mistakes.”
“The best you can do is try not to repeat your mistakes,”
Dr. Deb said. “Speaking of which, that
tie you wore today…”
Today I’ll accept making mistakes, trying not to repeat them.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Later Gator
“You know what I enjoy?” the man asked. “One beer with the
ballgame. That’s all I want.”
“Maybe that’s what you want at first,” I said, “But that’s not what you want after the first one. You always want more.”
Marti, who’d hadn’t known POS on a drug screen
meant ‘positive’, shook her head.
“I wanted to see my old boyfriend just one last time,” Marti
said. “We had a cup of coffee. Then I wanted to spend one more afternoon with
him. Then…”
“Is there a point to this story?” the man asked,
interrupting.
“Now we’re married and I want nothing more than to be rid of
his sorry ass,” Marti said.
“What we want at first often leads to something we don’t want
at all later,” I said. “Beware the Later Gator, it will eat you alive.”
Today
I’ll beware of what I’ll want later.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Friday, December 11, 2020
Inspiration
Dr. Deb’s organizational skills were legendary. As she told
me about the projects she was overseeing, I realized just how much I admired
her.
When I first got sober, stories people told of hard times
they’d gotten through without relapsing amazed me.
When I was in my late forties, I was playing basketball in a
church league. “I hope I’m still playing
when I’m his age,” a twentysomething said, looking in my direction. Likely it
was the only time I ever inspired anyone on a basketball court.
I said, “You gotta take care of your body.” I thought, ‘I
hope tomorrow I can bend over far enough to put my socks on without my back
locking up.’
Today I’ll be
grateful for people who inspire me, hoping to inspire someone else.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Thursday, December 10, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Of Love and Tater Tots
Dr. Deb asked me what happened. I started to tell her, but
our food arrived. I changed my mind.
“Right now, at this moment, I’m staring at a truly amazing
sandwich surrounded by one of mankind’s greatest achievements, the tater tot,”
I said.
She laughed, and I continued.
“I’m sitting across
from someone I love with all my heart.”
“Which do you love more?” Dr. Deb asked, smiling.
“Well, hon, I mean look at that sandwich. It’s a work of
art. And those tots.”
She kicked me under the table.
“Tonight I’ll tell you about work. Tell me about your day,
and let me just enjoy this moment.”
Today I’ll live in the moment.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Wednesday, December 9, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Yumm
“How was your day,” Dr. Deb asked.
I laughed, “So far it’s been a shit
sandwich on moldy bread.”
Dr. Deb laughed too. “Nice. Any other images you want to share as I’m
eating?”
Today I’ll laugh at my troubles if I can.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Treat
When noon rolled around,
I had a hundred reasons to work through lunch.
I had to finish the workbook.
I had to find out what was happening with the agency.
I had to figure out my next move.
I had frozen meatballs and a jar of store-brand spaghetti
sauce waiting for me in the kitchen.
“Sometimes, you just gotta treat yourself,” I said to M.A.
and Cuddles. “To make good times more memorable, and bad times tolerable.”
I called Dr. Deb. “Lunch ?”
“Sounds great!” she said.
I smiled as she told me about her day. In 2025 we had been
together 36 years, married for 34. Lunch
with her was still a treat.
Today I’ll treat myself.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Monday, December 7, 2020
The Art of Distraction
Cuddles sauntered in, followed close behind by M.A.
“Here’s the irony,” I said to M.A. and Cuddles as they stood
in front of my desk studying me. “I’m writing a book about the slogan ‘life on
life’s terms.’”
Neither the cat nor the ferret seemed to get the point.
“Life’s terms are a little uncertain right now,” I explained.
“Sometimes uncertainty is worse than certain loss. You don’t want to get your
hopes up, but you don’t want to accept defeat.”
M.A. looked at me quizzically.
“You do all you can to change the situation in your favor.
If you have any time left, you gotta practice the art of distraction.”
Cuddles jumped up on my desk and purred. I knew he’d
understand.
“So there’s nothing I can do about Abigail’s aunt. I could make myself crazy worrying. Instead,
I’ll go to the gym. I’ll focus on my writing. I’ll try cooking new things. I
will distract myself before worry gets the best of me.”
M.A. made a chattering sound. He got it too.
Today I’ll practice the art of distraction.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
Friday, December 4, 2020
Twists and Turns
“I kinda wish someone had told me this before I was hired,”
I said to Katy.
“The case was all but settled,” Katy said. “The aunt wasn’t
going to get much. Then the judge died, and the whole situation changed
overnight.”
I wanted to be angry, but Randy couldn’t have anticipated a
judge dying. I shrugged and said, “What are you gonna do?”
The old me might have gotten drunk. Instead, I sat in my
office thinking how life takes unexpected turns. You find a lump. You inherit
money. There’s an accident. You meet that special someone. You discover why
that special someone is still single. The economy booms. The economy crashes.
OMG You’re Pregnant!!! OMG, you’re pregnant…
“Gotta accept life is full of twists and turns,” I said to
my laptop.
Today I will accept life is going to be full of twists and
turns.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Thursday, December 3, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Stonger, Smarter Luckier
Later I asked Katy what was going on.
Katy said, “Randy and Abigail are cousins. They share the miserable aunt who raised
Abigail. When their grandfather died, the fortune was split three ways: Randy’s
mother, Abigail’s father, Randy and Abigail’s aunt.”
I didn’t like where this conversation was going.
“The Aunt spent her money, and is now tying Abigail up in
court, claiming as her former guardian, she should have gotten half the inheritance when Abigail's father died.”
“Abigail and Randy were counting on that money to keep
Fawlty Showers going until it turned a profit,” I said. Katy nodded, looking
like she was about to cry.
My first sponsor had told me, ‘When it’s worse than you
imagined, remember you’re stronger and smarter than you think, luckier than you
feel.’
If Today is difficult, I'll remember I’m stronger and smarter than I think, luckier than I feel.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Wednesday, December 2, 2020
Fawlty Showers
The Dreaded Allegheny River Piranhas
Randy stopped in later that morning to check on my progress.
He looked like the underside of a dumpster.
“Not sleeping again, boss?” I asked.
“Could you hold off cashing your check until Monday?” he
asked.
There were signs your company was doing well. Being asked
not to cash your paycheck right away was not one of them.
“Okay,” I said, waiting for an explanation, but getting none.
Catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion, a way
people make themselves anxious and depressed by exaggerating all the negative
possibilities, no matter how unlikely. I had once been the Michael Jordan of catastrophizing.
If I was five minutes late for a training, I’d start
thinking I’d get fired. This would kick off a series of imagined events ending
with me living under a bridge by the river. On a good day piranhas would eat me alive when I waded into Allegheny to bathe.
On that day, I felt the familiar anxiety, let it wash over
me, and got back to work.
Today I will go forward despite my fears.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
Tuesday, December 1, 2020
Fawlty Showers
Habit
Dana arrived, a box of donuts in hand.
“You don’t have to do this every day,” I said, mulling over
my selection. “But, thanks.”
Dana said, “When I start something new, I try to pick a good
habit. Come hell or high water I stick to that habit.”
“So getting donuts was the habit you picked up when you
started this internship.” She nodded.
“Do you know what I do at lunch?” Dana asked.
“Poison pigeons in the park? Steal blankets from homeless
people? Tell small children there’s no Santa?”
“I text my husband and kids a heart and a little note.”
After she left I wondered if there wasn’t a good habit I
could start.
Today I will start a new good habit.
Fawlty Showers is
a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might
know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
www.greenbriartraining.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
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