Fawlty Showers will return on Tuesday.

In solemn remembrance,

in grateful celebration,

have a happy Memorial Day Weekend. 

 Fawlty Showers

The Whole Picture

On Saturday I drove to North Park to ride my bike. On a flat stretch I passed a heavyset man on what I thought was a mountain bike.  A mile or so later, he passed me going uphill.

I berated myself, “You’re so out of shape. No more junk food, more bike rides.”

Near the end of my ride he passed me again. I was mortified I’d been lapped.  As he peddled away, I saw he was riding an electric bike. A battery powered motor helped him pedal uphill.  I had judged myself harshly without seeing the whole picture.

A friend once told me she wished she could be as patient with her kids as I was with mine. I hadn’t the heart to tell her I had no patience for her three little monsters either.

“Don’t judge yourself too harshly,” I told her, “See the whole picture, you’re a good mom.” The fact she’d never duct taped them to a tree showed an amazing amount of patience on her part.

 

Today I won’t judge myself until I see the whole picture.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Connected

Ten days after we moved the animals to Semi-Colin’s, Cuddles started making daytime appearances.  He’d saunter around the buildings, visiting staff and patients, occasionally dropping a half dead mouse in someone’s office. After a couple of hours he’d wander off, headed back to Semi-Colin’s.

I didn’t want to read too much into Cuddles’ behavior, but I thought he wanted to stay connected. He’d been a beaten down alley cat when the previous building owner had taken him in.  Our staff had shown him more attention and affection than he’d ever received before.

Some people have been sustained by faith, family, and friends, work and shared experiences, and recovery. The wise ones stay connected. I sent Dr. Deb a text to say I wanted to have everyone over for dinner on Saturday.

Today I will stay connected

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

 

Changes

The first couple of days did not go well for anyone at Semi-Colin’s house. Dash had to be told several times to be gentle with the animals, especially MA.  Cuddles hid under a couch, hissing at whoever came near.

Semi-Colin made some changes.  Dash started feeding Cuddles little pieces of chicken. A week later Cuddles had warmed up to his chubby new buddy who liked to curl up next to him in a sunbeam.

Semi-Colin left some of Dash’s toys out. At night MA would hide whatever he could drag away. In the morning Dash would look for the piles of Lego, plastic soldiers and the like, laughing with delight whenever he found them.

I thought about how often life changes. The first year of recovery is hard, but one day you realize you’re so much more at ease being sober. You’re sad when a relationship ends until eventually you realize you’re happier than you’d been in a long time. You have that surgery and wonder why you put it off.

Life changes when you make changes.

Today I’ll be grateful life changes when I make changes.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Sometimes It’s The Destination, Not The Journey

Two days later, after we’d all said our goodbyes, we moved Cuddles and M.A. to Semi-Colin’s.  The move was traumatic to say the least.

Cuddles not only tore up my hands, he managed to claw through my shirt, shredding a patch of skin on my chest. MA walked into the crate on his own, which made Katy start crying.

Cuddles hissed and spit the whole way to Semi-Colin’s. Katy cried while Dana cursed.  Because of traffic lights and stop signs, the ten minute walk was a fifteen minute drive.

I wasn’t happy, but I didn’t cry or curse. The trip was a miserable, but I knew Semi-Colin would take good care of the animals. Semi-Colin’s son Dash would give the animals all the attention they could ever want.

“Sometimes it’s the destination, not the journey,” I said to myself. “As you stumble through the desert, picture the oasis.”

 

Today I’ll remember sometimes it’s the destination, or at least a stop along the way.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 Fawlty Showers

Making the Best of a Bad Situation

At the next staff meeting Randy announced the county inspection had been moved up a month. We had to make a decision about the animals sooner rather than later.

In the end there was no choice to be made.  If we didn’t find a home for the animals the county would refuse to renew our license.  The county evaluator would shut us down.

I wanted to rant and rave and get a lawyer and see if I could borrow my friend’s St. Bernards to leave their calling cards in the county evaluator’s yard and/or convertible.

I texted Semi-Colin instead.  He still wanted to adopt MA and Cuddles. He would be happy to have our staff visit the animals as long as we called first. 

I told my colleagues Semi-Colin lived ten minutes away, and we could arrange lunchtime trips to see them.

“I don’t like giving them up,” Randy said, “but this may be the best we can make of a bad situation.”

 

Today I’ll make the best of a bad situation.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Whose Issue Is It?

At the end we all got up to thank the speaker. The Preacher made a beeline for the podium. 

Talmadge helped Stanley to his feet and handed him his walker. Everyone else waited for Stanley to make his way to the front of the room before lining up behind him.

When Stanley reached the podium, the speaker said to The Preacher, “Excuse me,” and gestured toward Stanley leaning on his walker. 

“Sure,” The Preacher said, “but one more thing,”

“I don’t want to leave him standing there too long,” The speaker said. The Preacher didn’t move.

“Right. This will just take a minute. I think…”

The speaker said, “I don’t know why you need so much attention. I hope you figure it out, but today I refuse to allow your issue to become my issue.” With that she stepped around him and shook hands with Talmadge and Stanley.

I turned to Margaret the newbie who was standing behind me. “Well there’s my nugget of wisdom for the day. “

 

Today I won’t let someone else’s issue become mine.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Progress

The speaker’s father had abused her until she turned 14. She then moved in with her with a 22 year-old drug dealer who took over where her father had left off.

“I’m 32, have five years sober, a little money in the bank, my GED, a driver’s license, and a job,” she said, smiling. “My car’s inspected and insured. My rent’s paid.”

She paused, wiped away a tear, and said, “I have a sweet, kind, boyfriend I’m trying so hard to trust, but it’s hard, ya know? If you’ve been done so wrong…”

Her voice trailed off as she broke into sobs. A young man joined her at the podium, held her until she regained her composure. The room erupted in applause.

“My dad’s in prison. I try not to be happy about that, but I can’t resist rubbing it in.”

She laughed, “I sent him a stack of really romantic Valentine’s Day cards he could give to all his new ‘friends’ on the cell block.  I find postcards of beautiful places that say ‘Wish You Were Here!’ and add the words ‘Don’t you. ’”

She continued, “Maybe someday I’ll learn to trust, let go of my resentments. For now, I hold onto that slogan, ‘progress not perfection.’”

Margaret the newbie sitting next to me whispered, “I found my nugget, ‘progress not perfection.’”

 

Today I will look for progress not perfection.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Listen Up

The woman’s name was Margaret. She was fortyish, blonde, too thin, and starting to gray.  There was tenseness about her that made me wonder if she wasn’t shaking inside.  

“What do I have to do next?” Margaret asked. “This is my first AA meeting.”

Stanley, a battered, scarred man in his 90s with a road map of broken blood vessels on his bulbous nose wiggled his uni-brow and said, “Try not to stare at me, I’m more than just eye-candy.”

His friend Talmadge said, “Make snarky remarks about The Preacher until the meeting starts.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ignore them. Sit relax. It’s a speaker meeting tonight.”

Stanley smiled. “Missy, all you got to do for the next hour is listen for something you can use. Take that something home, think about it, decide how it can help you.”

Talmadge nodded his head in agreement. “The trick is to find the nugget in the ore. It’s usually there, but you gotta really listen.”

Today I will listen.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Practice

I went to an AA meeting that night. I guy I called ‘The Preacher’ was there, yakking away to anyone who would listen to his thoughts on recovery.  I sat with some other oldtimers on the other side of the room.

An anxious newcomer stood halfway between us and where The Preacher was holding court. I waved her over.

“He likes to preach,” I said. I pointed to some of the other oldtimers. “They like to practice.”

“Practice what?” she asked.

“Practice acceptance. Practice sober hedonism.  Practice just being in the moment, sipping their coffee, leaving their troubles at the door.”

She smiled, “I’d like to practice that.  I’ve had enough of people preaching at me.”

Today I will practice rather than preach.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Might as Well

“Did you know your kid has to volunteer for the Navy?” Dana asked. “You can’t just drop her off at the recruiting station.”

I said, “I think just about everyone living in America knows that.  What did your daughter do now?”

“Nothing. Evertything. I’m slipping into the ‘might as wells,’ as in ‘I’m tired of fighting with my little Princess, I might as l well let her do whatever she wants until she leaves home’.”

“I’ve seen might as well kill a lot of good things. I’ll never stay sober on my birthday, I might as well drink now. I’ll never finish school, I might as well quit now.”

“I’ll never reach her, I might as well stop trying,” Dana said with a heavy sigh. “For me, that making the next right decision we were talking about comes from telling myself I might as well not. Not eat the junk, not give up on my kid.”

“I’ve stayed sober a lot of years telling myself I might as well not pick up that first drink.”

Today I might as well not.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Stacking Up Right Decisions

I said to Dana, “While you’re here, probably stalking me, help me write this article on how people change.”

Dana said, “If you know what the right decision is, change is all about stacking up right decisions.” 

“Like how?”

“So far today I had oatmeal at home instead of a fast food breakfast sandwich. I packed a healthy lunch. I walked with Katy after we ate.”

“So what if you make a wrong decision?” 

 “I’ll try to get back to making the right decisions, see how many in a row I can stack up.”

Today I will make the next right decision.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental. 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: 

• www.greenbriartraining.com  

• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Progress

After group I got a text from Semi-Colin. His wife Beth had agreed to take the cat and the ferret.

I breathed a big sigh of relief. Halfway home, I just needed to convince my colleagues to give up Cuddles and MA.

My mood darkened remembering our last staff meeting. Katy was on board with finding a home for the animals, but Abigail and Randy opposed the idea. Dana was fixated on sterilizing her daughter’s boyfriend, and didn’t seem to have an opinion. 

“No, I’m gonna take a moment and appreciate the progress I’ve made,” I said to my laptop. “If you wanted to lose twenty pounds and lost ten, you’d celebrate that progress.  If you made it halfway through a training program or college, you’d celebrate your progress.”

I hadn’t noticed Dana the intern standing in the door. “If you only talked to yourself in private, you might consider that progress, but…”

Today I’ll focus on the progress I’ve made so far.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Present

“Any more meanings for ‘one day at a time’?” I asked.

“Make your plans and wait for the right day to get your revenge,” someone said. I made a note to read his chart.

“One day at a time live in the present moment,” someone else said.

A woman staring into her coffee added, “Right about now my husband can’t find the remote. My kids are eating cereal from the box because there’s no milk. I just know they’re all wearing mismatched socks and wrinkled shirts.”

“And you’re trying not to worry about it, just focusing on being here,” I suggested.

She laughed, “I giggle like a little girl every time I think about it. Bet they appreciate me now. Oh, the present moment is delicious.”

I laughed too, but asked if anyone else was focusing on living in the present moment.  

Today I will live in the present moment.

 

 Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

One Day At A Time

Abigail had an emergency and asked if I’d finish group for her.  I told the group they could end early if they remembered at least four meanings for the slogan ‘one day at a time.’

“One day at a time don’t pick up the first drink,” Marti answered. “Don’t text the ex, don’t break your diet, don’t hide from your responsibilities.”

“One day at a time squeeze the joy from the day,” a man in the back said. “Take a longer shower, enjoy your breakfast, hug someone goodbye, text an old friend, play with a dog.”

“And?”

“Know you’re one day stronger than you thought because you didn’t pick up the first drink, text the ex, duck your responsibilities. Pat yourself on the back.”

“That’s three,” I said. “Good start.”

 

Today I’ll remember one day at a time’s first three meanings.

 

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

First Step

The phone rang. Katy was away from her desk. I picked up the call. There was silence at the other end of the line.

I understood, I’d been there many times.  The first step in the right direction is almost always uphill.

I said, “Take the first step.” They hung up.

People find the courage to call rehabs, but hesitate, a foot in the air, poised to move forward, but afraid to leave their old lives, as miserable as they might be.  

Other people never chased their dreams, seeing the steepness of the mountain they’d need to climb, not knowing they’d get stronger with each step.  

 “The climb is always worth it,” I said to myself, “be it letting go of resentment, getting out of a bad relationship, changing jobs, going to school, starting a business, getting sober, whatever. No matter where you end up, you learn you can climb.”

I thought of some things I wanted to do, but hadn’t started. “You just gotta take that first uphill step.”

 

Today I will take the first uphill step in the right direction.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/ 

Fawlty Showers

Rigorous Honesty

After the meeting I got a text from Semi-Colin. He wanted to know more about Cuddles the cat. I told him Cuddles loved the ferret, sunshine, and playing with string. He asked if the cat had any bad habits, like peeing where he wasn’t supposed to.

I hesitated. I really wanted Semi-Colin to take both MA and Cuddles.

My first sponsor had told me if you start lying about little things, you’ll soon be lying to yourself about big things, like why you’re having your lunch in a bar.

‘He hates to go to the vet,’ I texted. I sent a picture of the scratches on my wrists.

‘That’s it?  You should see the way Dash fights me when I put him in his car seat.’ He sent me a picture of a black eye he’d gotten from Dash’s little foot as he strapped him in.

Semi-Colin texted he was sold, he’d just need to convince his wife.

“It pays to be honest,” I said to my laptop.

 

Today I’ll practice rigorous honesty.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

 Fawlty Showers

Pick Your Battles

Semi-Colin texted me he’d love to take the ferret, but maybe not the thug cat. I texted they were a package deal. He texted he’d talk to his wife.

The next day I told my colleagues about finding MA and Cuddles a home. They weren’t thrilled.

They thought we should fight to the death to keep them. Abigail pointed out I was supposed to be mounting a media campaign to stir up public support.

“Sometimes you pick your battles,” I said. “I can’t guarantee they won’t be dragged off to an animal shelter, so I’d rather place them in a good home.”

 “Maybe you’re right about picking your battles,” Katy said. “I can’t make my mother go to the retirement home so I visit her every other day.”

 “I’d like to have my daughter’s dimwit boyfriend fixed,” Dana said. She made a snipping motion with her fingers in the air. We waited, but she didn’t say what she could do instead.

 

Today I will pick my battles.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Past That

I sent Semi-Colin a picture of M.A. ‘His name is Moondoggy Alpha but he prefers to be called M.A.’ I texted. Semi-Colin sent back three thumbs up emojis.

‘Send me a picture of the cat,’ he texted.  I did. There was a long pause. ‘Does he have a parole officer?’

‘He’s a bit ragged, has a few battle scars, but he’s got a sweet disposition now.’ I looked at the deep gouges Cuddles had inflicted on me when I took him to the vet – mostly sweet disposition.

There was another long pause.   I texted, ‘He used to be a fighter. He was an alley cat, he had to be. He’s left that behind him. Now he’s a rehab cat who wants to be a house cat.’

An even longer pause. I texted, ‘We can all be grateful for things we’ve left in the past: bad relationships, addictions, miserable jobs, insane neighbors, etc.’  

‘LOL, not sure what that has to do with adopting a cat.’

I wasn’t sure either, but I made a gratitude list of things I’d left in the past, starting with drinking and my mullet.

 

Today I’ll be grateful for things I’ve left in the past.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Follow Through

When I got home, I got Semi-Colin’s number from Brat Boy and texted him immediately.  Experience had taught me many a good idea died because people, including me, hesitated.

My laptop was full of half-finished stories and plot outlines.  I’d hit on an idea I really liked, but not follow through with the actual writing.

At my old job people would call early in the morning, ask if they’d reached the rehab, and then say ‘never mind’ or hang up.  Some of my therapy clients repeated the same behavior over and over, never following through with the changes they recognized they needed to make.

I always thought treadmills should come with built-in shoe racks and hangers for people who bought them but never followed through with their plan to exercise more.

Today I will follow through.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/