Fawlty Showers 2

Emotional Means

“Wait,” I said to Dana, “Back up.  The Dope’s family lives in one of those huge houses on the hill. How can they be broke?”

Dana said, “Living way beyond their means.  The car they left in Mexico is a Porsche.”

Abigail said, “There’s many ways to live beyond one’s means.  Deep down I want a normal relationship with my aunt, but I can’t afford the sadness and the chaos she causes.”

I think we were all a little surprised to hear Abigail so open about her feelings. We added our own examples to let her know she wasn’t alone.

“My husband is a handsome, charming when he wants to be, drain on my soul,” Katy said. “Being around him is living beyond my emotional means.”

“I loved booze,” I said, “but the fallout from drinking caused me problems beyond my means to fix, so I don’t drink.”

“Oh, just the thought of poisoning the Dope,” Dana said, a wistful look in her eyes. 

I waited for her to say dwelling on that thought was living, even as a fantasy, beyond her emotional means.  Instead, she said, “The thought of him falling face down into the soup he’s been slurping …”

We all took a step back from Dana.

 

Today I will not live beyond my emotional means.

 

 Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2

Calm Down

Dana walked in a moment later.

“Any news from the happy couple?” I asked.

Dana laughed a loud, unsettling, horror movie villain laugh. I took a step backwards.

“The Princess and the Dope Without Hope are flying back today,” Dana said. “The car is ruined, they’re leaving it in Mexico.  Guess who’s paying for the tickets.”

“You’re paying for his ticket too?” I asked. Dana nodded.

“His family is broke. My husband is so angry he can’t talk.  The Dope’s father asked if we could upgrade them to first class. The Dope’s mother is meeting them at the airport with a big smiley-face welcome home sign.”

“You seem relatively calm,” Katy pointed out.

“Calm before the storm,” Dana said. “They’re safe – that’s the calm. I may kill them – that’s the storm. My mother used to say don’t waste the calm worrying about the storm.”

Later I thought about how every change in life comes with some storm clouds.  I wondered what storms old age might bring.  I decided to enjoy the calm while I could.

Today I will enjoy the calm.

 Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

 Fawlty Showers 2

A Good Whatever
Katy hesitated, then asked, “What if I’m not a good mom?”

“Were you a good mom so far today? Are you doing all the things a pregnant woman is supposed to do?”

Katy smiled. “I took my vitamins, meditated, started another book on pregnancy, ate a heathy breakfast – the whole deal.”

“So you were a good mom today.  A hidden meaning for that slogan ‘one day at a time’ is be a good whatever today, don’t worry about being a good whatever forever.”

Katy stood and hugged me. “You’re a good friend.”

“Today I am. Tomorrow I might steal the Raisinets you have hidden in your top desk drawer.”

 

Today I will try to be a good whatever, not worrying about being a good whatever forever.

 

 Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers 2

Walk Away

I looked at Katy,

“I think I’m pregnant,” she said.

“How did that happen?” I asked.

“Don’t you have two kids of your own, Ken?”

I said, “I mean, I know how it happens, but why?  I thought you and your husband were splitting up.”

“He was back in town. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s persuasive and persistent.”

I wanted to say he’s a narcissistic, serial cheater, POS, but instead I shrugged, “Some people who learn to be persuasive persist, thinking sooner or later you’ll give in.”

Katy sighed, “What do you do about them?”

“Early on people tried to persuade me to drink again. I learned my best strategy was to walk away. Maybe avoid them in the first place. I lost some relationships, but I’m still sober.”

 

Today I will avoid persuasive, persistent, people pushing me into peril.

 

 Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2

Lean on Me

I righted myself and got to work thinking it would be an ordinary day. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Abigail’s aunt made a suicide gesture in a last ditch attempt to pry money from Abigail.

Dana’s daughter, The Princess, called to say she was stuck on the side of the road in Mexico.  Her boyfriend, The Dope Without Hope, had never had the oil changed in his car.

Randy discovered he had a son who wanted him to pay half his private school tuition.

“Life’s a little unsettled for everyone but you and me,” I said to Katy the Office Manager.

She looked down at her belly and said, “Well about that,…”

Sitting in my office, I said to DD the baby bunny, “I’ve been lucky to have people around me when my life was unsettled. It’s kinda nice to be the settled one his friends can lean on.”

 

Today I’ll be grateful when I can be the one to lean on.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

 Fawlty Showers 2

Stumbling

The next morning I woke an hour late. I’d fallen asleep without setting my alarm.  My back was bothering me and I hadn’t slept well.

After I let the dog out, I sat upright against the headboard, thinking I wouldn’t sleep, I’d just rest my eyes. An hour later I woke up again.

Two hours behind, I remembered I had to clean out the dog and the cat’s water and food bowls.  Blondie had left her chinchilla with us while she was on vacation. I needed to clean his cage.

I handed the chinch a tiny stick. He ate the bark like he was eating corn, staring at me, his tail twitching in delight. I finished his cage about the time he was done with the stick.

“Just one,” I said and gave him a sunflower seed. I was two and half hours behind.  “I should just go back to bed.” The chinchilla looked to me for another seed. I gave it to him.

“I stumbled through this morning,” I said, “but I’m still moving forward.” I grabbed my laptop and headed to work.

Today if I stumble, I will stumble forward.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2

Just Joking

I went to an AA meeting that night.  Stanley and Talmadge sat in their usual seats by the door.

“Your wife ask about me?” Stanley asked a wicked smile on his ancient face.

I laughed, “Not by name, but she did ask how the fossil in the track suit was doing.”

“If she asks if the nasty old Q-tip is dead,” Talmadge said, “you’ll know she’s talking about Stanley.”

Stanley and Talmadge traded insults with each other, before turning their attention to people they knew walking through the door.  Laughter echoed through the church basement.

It did my heart good to be around people I could joke with.

Today I’ll be grateful for people I can joke with.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

Fawlty Showers 2

I herd You!

The principal said, “I missed what you said about the herd.”

“In college I was part of a herd that drank a lot.  Traveling with other heavy drinkers, I didn’t see I was on the outer edges of the herd.

“A couple of years after graduation, a friend said, ‘We can’t drink like we used to.’  I was drinking more.  I realized most of the herd had turned, but I had kept going, getting closer and closer to the cliff.”

“You’re saying when everyone’s drinking, it’s hard to know if you’re the person with a drinking problem.”

“Often until you stumble over the cliff,” I said.  

A sad look crossed her face. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but my husband’s still part of a herd. He can’t see his problem because all his friends drink as heavily as he does.”

“Herd mentality. You gotta  watch out for it.”

 

Today I’ll beware of herd mentality.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

Fawlty Showers

Hidden Good

I was talking to the school principle in the hallway. Two huge boys pushed a scrawny kid against a locker. One boy opened it. “They’re going to shove him in!” I said to the principal.

She smiled. “Wait, they do this every day.”  One large kid handed the scrawny kid a paper bag. The scrawny kid laughed.  I looked to the principal for an explanation.

“The kid on the left is nicknamed Flop, FLag On the Play.  He’d happily tear your liver out and feed it to you at midfield. The blond kid’s guidance counselor thinks he’s got a promising future as a mob enforcer.”

“What about their malnourished friend?” I asked.

“Mom’s a nasty drunk who berates him constantly. Dad sells drugs.  The boys bring him lunch, and look out for him.”

“So you watch this every day to remind yourself there’s good in the world?”

“Sometimes where you least expect it. Brightens your whole day when you see it, but you have to look.”

 

Today I’ll look for the good.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/
 

 Fawlty Showers 2

One More

The next day I spoke about addiction at a local high school.  A kid asked me if everyone has a little bit of an addictive personality.

I said, “I don’t know if I’d say everyone does, but I think it’s human nature to want just one more.”  I gestured toward the audience, “Anybody?”

A boy put his foot in the air, and said, “Sneakers. I work in shoe store so I can get a discount when I buy one more pair.”

“One more game,” a boy said, “I gotta play one more video game.”

“One more episode,” a girl in the front row said.  “Netflix is half the reason I’m failing Calc.”

A boy behind her snorted, “The other half reason is you’re a girl.”

She turned to glare at him and say, “My favorite show is ‘How to Get Away with Murder.’ Hey, don’t you cut through the woods on your way home?”

They laughed, and I added, “The ‘one mores’ are a good reminder, maybe a warning, that while most people are not prone to addiction, the first step toward it seems to be human nature.”

Today I will beware of the one mores.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Debt

I hit the gym after work, thinking I’d get on the stationary bike, shut my eyes, and peacefully pedal for an hour while listening to an audio book.

Epiphany Chaser took the bike next to mine, and began telling me in voice loud enough to be heard across the gym about the different views held by her two therapists. I took out my earbuds.

Ten minutes into her monologue, I reminded myself real men don’t hit women, violence is never the answer.

Maybe planting evidence was? I could buy a gun legally, file off the serial numbers, put it in her car with some cash and a bundle of heroin.  Call the police anonymously.

I knew I could never bring myself to buy heroin. Instead, I said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I’d really like to get back to my book.” I put my earbuds back.

“How rude!” Epiphany said.  I started to apologize, but thought talkers have a knack for making people feel they owe the talker their attention.   Likewise, people thought the company owed them a pass, no matter what the policy said about positive drug screens. As a therapist I’d often witnessed an abusive spouse insisting they were owed one more chance.  

I’d also seen many people rob themselves of happiness paying debts they didn’t owe.  I shrugged and turned up the volume. I enjoyed my ride.

 

Today I won’t pay a debt I don’t owe.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers 2

Lunch

I ate lunch in the break room that day, something I rarely did.

Abigail was finishing the same lunch she ate every day: half a sandwich, a hard-boiled egg, and tea.

I had to ask, “Abigail, don’t you ever want something different?”

She wiped the corner of her mouth, neatly placing the napkin back in her lap.

“As a child, I never knew what lunch might be,” Abigail said.  “Some days my aunt sent me to school with a bag of chips. If I complained, she would send me the next day with nothing at all, or a grocery bag filled to the brim to embarrass me.”

“I still don’t understand the appeal of eating the same thing every day.”

“I like this lunch. I like the predictability. Most of all, I like the way it feels as if I’m sticking it to my crazy aunt, as illogical as that sounds.”

Illogical or not, I had to give Abigail credit, she had turned what could have been a resentment into a reward.  I wondered if I had resentments I might want to convert.

 

Today I’ll try to turn a resentment into a reward.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2
 

A Giant and His Magic Bunny

One of the baby bunnies came hopping into my office.  I’d named him DD for ‘dipshit dumbass.’  He tended hang out in my office, chewing and/or peeing on any papers I left on the floor.

When I got up to refill my coffee, DD followed me to the kitchen.  I was mumbling to myself when we passed Katy’s desk.

“A giant, talking to his magic bunny,” Katy said, giggling. “Our clients are going to think they’re hallucinating.”

I laughed too, realizing how odd we must have looked.  It changed my whole mindset.

My last several blogs had been about uphill battles, and not giving up.  Montrose jumps into relapse infested waters, laptop in hand, to rescue addicted folks with his grit and determination, wit and wisdom.

“Time for me to lighten up, take myself and life a little less seriously,” I said to DD in the kitchen, sneaking him half a carrot from the refrigerator.

 

Today I will lighten up.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2

How Cliché

The next day I got to work early to write my blog.  I drew a blank.  None of my characters spoke to me.

I started writing about a coffee shortage leading to mass relapses, a slowdown in the economy, and looting.  I discarded that idea.

Next, I wrote about why people are attracted to drugs. “Damn, if I don’t make them sound wonderful,” I said to my laptop.  I deleted the entire entry.

Several more bad ideas later, I was ready to give up. 

“You’re only beaten why you quit trying,” I said to myself.  “Maybe that’s my topic.”

It’s impossible to write about life without using some clichés, but I wondered if that wasn’t a bit too much for my blog.

“Some clichés are utter BS,” I said to my laptop, “but most contain at least a grain of truth.”  

‘You’re only beaten when you quit trying,’ I typed, starting my blog.

 

Today I see if there isn’t a bit of truth in a cliché.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

When I See the Slope

The next time I ran group, we talked about the powerlessness from the first step of AA. 

 

“Imagine level ground, leading to a slope, next to a cliff,” I said. “You’re not truly powerless until you jump, but then your powerlessness is complete.

 “But,” I said, “You are not powerless when you see the sloping ground. You’re not powerless when you step onto the slope, but it is easier to stumble toward the cliff than to turn around.  When you reach the edge of the cliff, it’s uphill back to safety, but you’re still not powerless.”

“So we should turn around when we see the slope,” a woman said. She chuckled. “For me all mall parking lots slope downward toward a credit card cliff.”

“My house looks level, but all the floors slope toward the refrigerator,” another woman added. “Must be all the wine inside.”

“My ex,” a man said, shaking his head. “She’s a sexy exit ramp to the bowels of hell. When I jump off her cliff I wake up with my wallet, my self-esteem, my morals broken on the rocks of her evil manipulations. She’s…”  

I cut him off, “Let’s just say she’s not good for you, and you should turn around when you see the slope leading to her door.”   

 

Today I’ll turn around when I see the slope.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Downhill Run

When I finally got into my office, I almost wished I hadn’t.  I got an error message on a home-study course I was designing.  Two hours later I was still struggling to fix it.

 

I remembered the conversation I’d just had with the night nurse. “Can’t give up even if it’s an uphill battle,” I said to my laptop.

 

I texted a friend who was familiar with the program. “You’re in the wrong screen. Try this…” When I did, all the information I’d been looking for magically appeared.

 

No uploading, no downloading, no reloading – just a downhill run past the error.

 

I was so happy for a little bit of a downhill run, I picked up my laptop and kissed it.  Naturally, that was when Katy and Dana walked by.

 

For the next several days I heard nothing but jokes about my laptop being the real Dr. Deb. People shut my door saying, “I’m sure you and your computer want to be alone.” Every message I got had a string of kiss emojis attached.  Even downhill runs have potholes.

 

  

Today I’ll be grateful for the downhill parts of my journey.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Downhill Runs/Uphill Battles

The next day I got to work early, hoping to get a lot done.  Randy had installed a new security system on the office suite. A storm the night before had knocked the keypad offline.

Feeling more than a little frustrated, I trudged next door to the dormitory to see if the night nurse had a code or a key I could use to get in.

The night nurse was busy with a resident. I’d have to wait. An hour later we discovered neither her key nor the override code worked.

“Just trying to get into the office has been an uphill battle,” I whined. “I’m tempted to call it a day and go home.”

The nurse shook her head, “My mom used to say if you only run downhill you’ll always end up at the bottom.”

I nodded. If I only did the easy things, if I never fought the uphill battles, I’d never get anywhere.

 

Today I will fight the uphill battle.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/ 

Fawlty Showers

 Label

While I was running group, Dana went to the pet store to get a companion for Hoss the bunny.  Three days earlier her son had taken his first tuba lesson and had started practicing in the basement.

Her daughter, The Princess, had graduated and been given the options of work, college, or the military. Instead, she planned to spend the summer driving to Chile with her boyfriend whom Dana had nicknamed ‘The Dope Without Hope.’

In short, Dana was a little distracted when she picked the new bunny. She didn’t ask if it was a boy bunny or a girl bunny. A month later Pepper, the new bunny, gave birth to six more rabbits.

“I’m so stupid!” Dana said the day after the little miracles were born.

“No, you’re not,” I said. “You were distracted. Don’t label yourself based on one mistake.”

Dana reached down to stroke one of the kits. Pepper bit her. Dana held up her finger as if to say, “see, here’s another dumb thing I did.’

I said, “Nope, you still don’t label yourself based on one or two mistakes.”

 

Today I won’t label myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

“Herbie Wants To Be A Dentist.”

After group I sat in my office, resenting a little how getting people to participate in group had been like pulling teeth. 

I thought of a woman I’d known who was going to make her boyfriend listen to her. For ten years getting him to pay attention to her had been like pulling teeth. She married him anyway, and divorced him two years later.

A friend of a friend was going to convince his older brother he too should quit drinking. After years of arguing with his brother, the younger man relapsed.

“At some point,” I said to my laptop. “You stop arguing. You make your point and move on. You stop pulling teeth, you stop pretending to be a dentist, or it will wear you out.”

In the afternoon I presented the lesson with enthusiasm, encouraging their participation, but not pulling teeth to get it.

 

Today I won’t pretend to be a dentist.

 

Fawlty Showers II is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers 2

Were vs. Are

I ran group that morning, picking up where I’d left off the week before.

“We were on the word ‘were’ of AA’s first step,” I said. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.  Why didn’t they write it as ‘are’ since being sober is a lifelong process?”

Blank stares.

“At this very moment you are sober. You are not high. You are prone to getting high and/or drunk, but that would be a choice. Until you make that choice, you are not powerless. This applies to anything in your life you need to stop doing.”

More blank stares.

“Right now you have the power to choose.  You can return to what you were, or you can move forward.  Won’t be easy, especially not at first, but you can do it.  Any questions?”

“When can we see the bunny?” someone asked.

 

Today I won’t make a choice that leads to powerlessness.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

•             https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Hasenpfeffer

When I got to Fawlty Showers the next day an enormous bunny was hopping around the reception area. Katy asked what we should name him. 

“Stew,” I suggested. Dana and Katy scowled.

“Isn’t it about time for you to retire again?” Dana asked.

“Sorry,” I said. “How about ‘Hasenpfeffer’?” I hoped they were all too young to have watched the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.  “It’s German for ‘little love.’” 

“I have an idea,” Katy said. “Let’s get another one. We can call this one Hoss and the other one Pepper, almost like hasenpfeffer.”

As I look back, I should have known the Universe was listening. Telling that little lie about hasenpfeffer was going to come back to bite me. 

“Today I will remember the Universe is listening.”

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental. 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: 

• www.greenbriartraining.com  

• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/