Fawlty Showers

Change

Doubt crept in as my first day at the new job approached. In August of 2025 I was 65 years old. I wondered if changing jobs a few years shy of retirement was such a good idea. I called my new boss, just to make sure the new job was right for me.

“Hey Randy,” I said, “What’s the coffee situation?”

Randy said, “There’s always a pot brewing in the staff lounge. Our intern gets donuts every morning from the bakery down the block.”

I asked about the brand of coffee, the variety of donuts, and the donut to staff ratio.

“You’ve asked more questions about coffee and donuts than you did about our benefits package,” Randy said, laughing.

I didn’t tell Randy I was stalling, looking for a reason not to make a change. I’d seen enough people miss out because they put off making a change to know sometimes you just had to push through your doubts and do it.

Today I won’t look for reasons to put off making a change.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·        www.greenbriartraining.com 
·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers
 

Director of Curriculum

Two weeks later I got a call from someone named Randy. He offered me a job as Director of Curriculum at a facility he was opening.

“What exactly would I do?” I asked.

“You’d develop books, workbooks, and interactive video we’d use in-house and market to other facilities,” he said.

“That’s it?”

“We would like you to help out, maybe run some groups, be part of the management team, keep writing your blog, that sort of thing.”

Looking back now, it would be easy to judge myself harshly for making the move. Something about Randy seemed a little off.

On the other hand, I didn’t know then  what I know now. I'd had a decision to make, and I made. As The Boss used to say, ‘The highway is littered with indecisive squirrels.’ 

Today I won’t judge myself harshly for honest mistakes. 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Humble and Happy

Our Chief Planning Officer, C3PO, didn’t want the job either. “Why don’t you apply?” he asked.

‘Why not?’ I wondered. Pay raise, bigger office, more prestigious title.

Each time I’d accepted a job managing people my performance had been underwhelming.  I hated meetings, I wasn’t good at directing people, and I had a bad habit of ignoring paperwork.

Why would I even consider it? For the same reason people do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

“It’s all ego,” I said to my laptop. “The belief we can do something, maybe control something, that we really can’t.”  I thought about how much happier I’d become when I got humble and admitted I couldn’t control my drinking, I couldn’t manage people.

Today I will get humble to be happy.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Happy For You

I called our Chief Operating Officer, COO Coo Cashew, to see if she would be taking over.

“No, I got offered a job running a rehab on the coast, not far from Orlando,” she said.

“Oh, c’mon, you could never leave your farm,” I argued. “You’d be much happier here.”

“It comes with a house on the beach, a pool, free access to a golf course, and lifetime passes to Disney, Universal, and Epcot.” She sent me a picture.

“There’s a giant outlet mall right behind the rehab,” I mumbled.

I could practically hear her smirk, “Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.”

To my surprise, I found I was genuinely happy for her.  It brightened what was turning out to be a miserable day.

Today I’ll be happy for someone else.

 

 Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 FAWLTY SHOWERS

Boss

“The Boss wants you to call when you get a chance,” Ms. Rella said.

“I’m retiring,” The Boss said when I called.

I said, “How about you wait until I’m ready to retire.  That way I won’t have to get used to a new boss.”

The Boss laughed. “It’s 2025, I’ve earned it, and you’re a grown man. You’ll be fine.  What’s the expression you use? You can accept and adapt, or impede and recede.”

“If you fight things you can’t change, you waste time, lose ground, and become less than you were. I wrote it, I get it. But still…”

The Boss laughed. “Time for you to practice what you preach.”

Today I will accept and adapt rather than impede and recede.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 FAWLTY SHOWERS

Appreciation

“I’m going to be off Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday,” Ms. Rella, the Office Manager, said.

“I’m going to sneak into your garage and slash your tires so you can’t go,” I answered. “Do you want me to pick you up for work?”

Ms. Rella laughed. “I’m sure it’s not that bad when I’m gone.”

I sighed. “No, but things never run as smoothly without you. Believe me when I say your efforts are appreciated.”

“Good to be appreciated.”

Today I’ll make sure someone knows they’re appreciated.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

This is Friday

I finished my blog series on a Thursday.  The story was about summer with my kids. Summer was over, they had moved out, it was time to start a new story.

‘Do I really want to start one on a Friday?’ I wondered. The lazy part of my brain stirred just enough to list four or five lame reasons to wait until Monday.

“Nope,” I said out loud. “I should get right on this. After my coffee. And I check Twitter. And…”

Today I’ll beware of how easily I can trick myself into putting things off.

 

 Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Involved

Before we’d had children, Dr. Deb and I had heard a speaker talking about the passage of time. He’d said, “People who’ve raised kids will tell you they’re two, they’re twelve, they’re gone.”

The little girl who danced with me in the hardware store was working on a Ph.D.  The little boy who couldn’t wait to show his grandfather the projects he’d built was studying to be an engineer.  Neither of my children had waited for me to be ready for them to grow up.

“Ready or not, life moves forward,” I said to myself. “The best I can do is stay involved, not disappearing into work, TV, an addiction, or anything else that pulls me away from my loved ones’ lives.”

Today I will stay involved.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

What Can I Do?

The next day Brat Boy moved into the dorms.  I knew I was going to miss him.

Missing my children always reminded me of all the parents with sons and daughters serving overseas. How much did you miss a child stationed in Afghanistan?

Over the years I’d worked with Greenbriar and the Meadville Medical Center to provide trainings benefiting Operation Troop Appreciation, an organization that supported active duty troops.

The trainings mainly helped the people serving, but I liked to think their families found some comfort in our efforts.  I hadn’t served in the military, and thought it was the least I could do.

I wondered if there weren’t other small ways I could help somebody.

Today I’ll do what I can for somebody.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Swing and a Miss

Brat and I watched a horrible movie, talking trash on the plot and acting.  He would be the last to leave for school.

“When you leaving?” I asked.

Brat Boy said, “Thursday, but I have an online class on Wednesday.”

“OK, study hard. You’ll need to make big bucks to take care of me in my old age.”

“Storage units by the highway have eight foot ceilings and room for a cot and a propane stove. You’ll be comfortable there.”

I laughed. I was already missing him, and trying to be grateful I had people in my life I loved enough to miss. Too many people did not.

Today I’ll be grateful for loving someone enough to miss them.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Meaning Makers Mistake It

“Watcha working on?” Brat Boy asked.

“Another book voiced by the reader’s addiction,” I said. “It’s twisting slogans. The title of each chapter will be the slogan, with a subtitle about how it’s twisted.” I handed him a list of AA slogans.

Brat Boy laughed, and read, “’Easy Does It.’”

“The subtitle is: ‘Getting  Through Life Making Minimal Effort’,” I answered. “Can be used to make laziness seem like some sort of wise oneness with the universe.”

“’Think, think, think,’” Brat Boy read.

“’Instead of Do, Do, Doing’,” I said. “People endlessly think about the problem, and themselves, without changing anything.”

“’Do The Next Right Thing’.”

“’And Expect Instant Results’” I answered. “This is how people create resentments that sabotage their happiness.”

“Wow, do people really get the slogans so wrong?”

“All the time,” I said. “It’s human nature to twist what we hear into what we want to hear.”

Today I will find out what sayings and slogans really mean.

 

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

A Life of Quiet Perspiration

“Living a life of quiet perspiration,” I said to myself as I opened my laptop.

Brat Boy overheard me and asked, “Isn’t it ‘a life of quiet desperation’?”

“That’s the original quote,” I agreed, “But a life of quiet perspiration is working a little harder than you have to, without burning out, or shortchanging your family. It can be really rewarding.”

“I get the perspiration part, but why quiet, other than if fits with the quote?”

“Because if you’re doing it for the applause, you’re likely to be disappointed.  You gotta do it because you want to, because the effort is rewarding now and the results may be someday.”

“So you keep writing fiction, even though your last royalty check was for $1.43.”

“An accurate if painful example,” I said.

Today I will live a life of quiet perspiration.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Acting on Impulse

When we got home some celebrity on TV was describing how she kept individually wrapped cookies everywhere to teach herself impulse control.

Dr. Deb saw my expression and laughed. “That’s not how you do it?”

I said, “If I hid pills under the bed, it wouldn’t take much of an impulse to eat them. Having to go downstairs to get them would take a much stronger impulse.”

“If they’re locked up, and I had the key,” Dr. Deb said, “You’d really have to want them.”

“That’s how you practice impulse control. Not by willpower, by making it hard to act on impulse.”

“That’s why you still avoid alcohol after all these years,” Dr. Deb said. “Maybe I should get rid of all the junk you impulsively eat.”

“Brat Boy eats most of it,” I lied. “He has no impulse control.”

Today I will practice impulse control.

 

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

The Right Kind of Ugly

“That’s not an outside shirt,” Dr. Deb said to me later that day as we headed out to eat.  Brat Boy and I looked at each other, puzzled.

“It’s, I don’t know…” Dr. Deb said, trailing off.

“The right kind of ugly,” Brat Boy said. We fist bumped. He was wearing a fluorescent orange shirt emblazoned with rodent buccaneers.  The skull and crossbones on their ship’s flag formed a mathematical symbol. Pi rats.

Dr. Deb shook her head. “There’s no such thing as the right kind of ugly.”

As was so often the case, I was torn between what I knew to be true, and what I wanted to hear. My shirt was butt ugly, but I liked it and wanted to believe it was the right kind of ugly.

“I’ll change,” I said, as Brat Boy shook his head.

 

Today I’ll act on what I know to be true.

 

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Stained Glass

Blondie texted me a frowny face emoji and a house.  She was moving to her new apartment and wouldn’t be coming home in the summers anymore. I called her. We talked about life’s turning points, and the mixed feelings that come with them. 

“You’re life so far has been like a beautiful stained glass window,” I said.  “Some of the most precious pieces were given to you, like the love of your family. Others you worked hard to get, like your athletic and academic success.”

“Some pieces feel like broken glass,” Blondie said.

“They let life’s light pass through,” I said. “You can see the whole window because you’ve suffered the bad. People who’ve had no struggles, who have no broken pieces, often don’t see all the good.” 

Today I’ll be grateful for the broken pieces that let the light in.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: 

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS 

Do It

The next morning I got to my office at 6:30 and started my blog. By 7:30 I’d written possibly my worst entry ever. What it lacked in interesting detail, it made up for by being humorless.

I stared at the screen for what seemed like hours. “Maybe the best I can do is write about doing the best I can do,” I said to my laptop. It went to sleep.

“Maybe this is the best I can do today,” I said to myself. “It will have to do.”

Today I’ll do the best I can do.

 

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Present

“Got a favorite memory?” Dr. Deb asked me.

“Lots of them,” I said. “Can’t tell you how grateful I am I was there for them.”

Dr. Deb laughed. “If you weren’t there, they wouldn’t be your memories.”

I smiled. “Good point, but I meant I was there more than physically. I wasn’t chemically altered, my mind wasn’t obsessed with some other addiction. I enjoyed being completely present every minute.”

“I’m glad you were there.”

Today I’ll be grateful for being fully present.

  

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Backwards Gratitude

That night we went to a viewing of an old friend, a good man who passed away too soon.

“If something happened to me, would you drink again?” Dr. Deb asked. “I’d hate to think you would.”

I thought for a moment, “i don't think so, but nobody knows how they’ll hold up until they have to. I do know I’d try to write a backwards gratitude list.”

“How does that work?”

“Starting with our last moments together I’d list my favorite memories, working backwards in time. I’d try to add to the list every time I remembered something new.” 

“You’re thinking you could replace some of the pain with gratitude.”

“Exactly,” I smiled at her and added, “You don’t have to wait until someone’s gone to write that list. Without the pain of loss, it’s pure joy.” 

Today I will write a backwards gratitude list.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: 

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Honestly

I laughed when I heard the conversation outside my office. A new guy told The Other Ken not to bother with the drug screen, he’d admit he smoked a little weed after watching church on Sunday.

This was not The Other Ken’s first rodeo.  He drug screened him anyway.

The new guy tested positive for cocaine, opiates, and marijuana.  He said, “Okay, I had a wild weekend. I just didn’t want anyone to know how wild. I’m trying to forget it.” 

The Other Ken said, “The truth always comes out. The sooner it does, the sooner the healing starts. And, it starts with being honest with yourself.”

Nothing I hadn’t said, nothing I hadn’t heard before, but a good reminder to be honest with myself and others. 

Today I’ll be rigorously honest.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: 

• www.greenbriartraining.com  
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Summer with the Slug Rats

Rats

An old friend called to say he was getting back with his ex. I cringed.

I said, “They train rats to push a lever to get a food pellet. They put some of the rats on a schedule. Every so many pushes they get a reward for pushing the lever.”

“So I’m a rat,” he said.

 “Other rats get rewarded randomly. They never know how many pushes before they get rewarded.”

“Still don’t like being called a rat.”

“The rats on a schedule will quit pushing the lever once they miss a couple of rewards. The other rats will keep pushing, thinking the reward must be coming soon.”

“Don’t get the point of all this rat BS,” he said

“Some people have learned stop doing what isn’t rewarding. Others keep waiting for rewards few and far between, like living for another kind word from an abusive partner.”

Silence.

I said, “A rat will die because the rare rewards don’t make up for the effort they put out pushing the lever. Please don’t be that rat.”

Today I’ll help someone not be that rat.

 

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Patience

While I was in the shower I prayed the dog would bark to be let out. Dr. Deb would get out of bed wondering how her children who could hear their phones ring two rooms away couldn’t hear the dog barking.

No such luck. The dog waited until I had my car keys in hand to go to the door. I looked at my watch and cursed.

‘Sometimes all you can do is be grateful for a lesson in patience,’ I remembered someone in AA saying to me as we listened to a particularly boring speaker drone on.

The dog sniffed here and there, circled the yard twice, and got her leash wrapped around the lamppost. She stopped umpteen times before finally picking THE SPOT. I looked at my watch once more.

“I don’t like you,” I said to the dog. “I’ve never liked you. I wanted another cat.”  She wagged her tail furiously.

Today I’ll try to be grateful for lessons in patience.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com  

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/