Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Do you mind?
“By the way, did people actually tell you they were happy you failed?” I asked Terry.
“No, but I could tell what they were thinking,” he said with absolute certainty.
“Read minds, do you?”
“No, but I know what I’d think.”
“And through some Jedi mind trick, you can project your thoughts onto them?   You make them think what you’d think?”
He laughed. “OK, maybe I don’t know what all of them were thinking, but I least a few people were happy I went to jail.”
“I’ll admit you’re probably right about a few them,” I said, “If you’ll admit you have no power to read minds or project your thoughts onto other people.  Once you do that, you’ll find you won’t make yourself miserable based on what you suspect other people think.”
“Deal,” he said.

Today I will accept I don’t read minds, and I’m not a Jedi knight.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie
The kindle version of Choosing a Higher Purpose: A Guide for Agnostics/Atheists in Early Recovery will be free from March 30th to April 3rd at:

Monday, March 30, 2015

Great mind, big heart
“I hear you,” Terry said.  “I will try not to let small minds bring me down.  But you gotta admit Ken, there’s no shortage of them.”
I made him take out his cell phone and tell me all the things it could do.  “Building a phone like that took a lot of really smart, creative, dedicated people with great minds,” I said. “There’s no shortage of them either.  Most of them you’ll never hear about, but they’re out there.”
As we talked about the evolution of the phone, I discovered Terry and I shared a love for history.  I steered the conversation to famous philanthropists, pointing out that many people doubted their sincerity and motives, just as some of his peers doubted his.
“Not all charitable people are famous,” I added. “It’s like the great minds, you’ll never hear about more than a tiny fraction of all the truly kind people, the ones with the really big hearts.”


Today I will be grateful for great minds, and big hearts.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie
The kindle version of Choosing a Higher Purpose: A Guide for Agnostics/Atheists in Early Recovery will be free from March 30th to April 3rd at:

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Don’t mind the small minds
On my way out of the building I ran into Terry, who was standing by himself, looking sad.  I asked him if he was OK.
 He said, “Fifteen people in that room. Ten of them think I’m just pretending I’ve learned my lesson. They’re glad I went to jail and they can’t wait for me to go back.  Three don’t think it’s an act.  They’re happy I’ve been taken down a peg. Maybe two people think I’m sincere. They’re the only ones who hope I get sober.  Maybe I was a pompous ass, but do I deserve this?”
“Listen,” I said, “I knew two guys who hit hard times.  One was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was arrogant and entitled.  Went to jail on tax evasion.  Small minds cheered.
“Another man pulled himself up by his bootstraps.  He was born in poverty, but built a business from the ground up.  He gave back to the community, and remained humble.  He lost his business because he couldn’t compete with overseas sweat shops. Small minds in his old neighborhood cheered.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better? A story about two guys who fail?”
“That’s supposed to show you small minds don’t care who you were, or why you fell.  They’re just happy you’re down. Don’t let small minds get to you.”

Today I won’t let small minds get to me.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie
The kindle version of Choosing a Higher Purpose: A Guide for Agnostics/Atheists in Early Recovery will be free from March 30th to April 3rd at:

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Right thing, whatever reason
The next day Terry was back.  He said hello as he walked quietly past my office and into the group room five minutes early.  Group members and The Other Ken arrived.  I didn’t hear Terry raise his voice once during the group. He stayed for the entire session.
When group was over, the members filed past my office on their way outside.  I overheard the last two guys talking about Terry.
“It’s all bullshit. Terry’s just doing whatever it takes to get the judge and the therapists off his back,” a young man named Benjamin said.  “He doesn’t mean any of that stuff he said. He might be doing the right thing, but it’s for the wrong reason.”
An older man named Marty argued, “Al Capone ran a soup kitchen during the great depression.  He did it ‘cause he needed to change his image.  He wanted the support of the people to make it easier for the politicians, judges, and the police to look the other way. It was all about corruption and perception, but a lot of hungry people got fed. Right thing, wrong reason.”
“Nobody but Terry benefits from his little act,” Benjamin countered. “He might be saying and doing the right thing, but it’s for selfish reasons.”
Benjamin asked me what I thought.  I told him whether Terry was sincere or not, he was doing what he needed to do to get sober.  “It’s a step in the right direction,” I said, “no matter why he’s doing it.”

Today I won’t judge someone doing something right even if I suspect it’s for the wrong reason.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Easier said, what must be done
The next day I was preparing a presentation for family night.  My heart sank to the bottom of my chest as I pondered coping with a child’s addiction.  The last echo of laughter from the night before died away as I asked myself painful questions. If a child of mine became addicted, would I draw a hard line?  Would I practice tough love?  Would I allow her to feel the consequences of her addiction? Would I refuse to pay his bills, bail him out of jail, or even allow him to live in my home until he got help?   
Or, would I make excuses for her?  Would I pay his fines? Would I give her money, lying to myself about what she might buy with it?
I knew whatever I told the family members about taking a firm stand with their addicted loved ones would be ‘easier said than done.’ And yet, I also knew these were things they had to do to take care of themselves and increase their loved one’s chances of getting clean and sober.   

Today I will remember something ‘easier said than done’
is often the most important thing to do.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Times that aren’t a changin’
The movie we watched was bad.  Horribly bad, unbelievably bad, just all around bad.  We laughed until we were almost crying from making fun of the movie. 
When it was over, my daughter was still laughing when she said, “Well there’s two hours of my life I can’t back.”
The time I had spent with them was two hours of my life I didn’t want to get back.  I made a list of other times I didn’t want back, times I wouldn’t change. 

Today I will be grateful for time I don’t want to get back.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose



(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)


Monday, March 23, 2015

What a waste
I was the last one home.  My wife, Brat Boy, and Blondie were watching TV in the living room.  My conversation with Teller was weighing on my mind.  His brother had been a talented athlete, scholar, and artist.  He could have done the world a lot of good.  His death was a colossal waste. The thought of Teller following in his brother’s footsteps saddened and annoyed me, especially since he was completely aware of the danger.
“Want to make fun of a really bad movie?” my son asked.  
‘Or do I want to brood about Teller all night, and waste this time with my family?’ I asked myself.
“How bad?” I asked my son.
“I won’t have to explain it to Blondie,” my son said.  This earned him a laugh from his mother, a punch from his sister
‘Not wasting this time,’ I thought.

Today I will use my time, especially my time with loved ones, wisely.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose



(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Sunday, March 22, 2015

‘I forgot to mention …’
Teller called me the next day.  He had talked with KC and the two had hit it off.  “What a story that man has!” he said. 
“How’re you doing?” I asked.
“The pain in my shoulder comes and goes. Mostly it comes when I’m stressed.  I worry about something, and my muscles tighten.  That makes my shoulder hurt.  I worry about my shoulder hurting and it hurts worse.”
“What’d the doc say?”
“I don’t see the surgeon for three months. I have the pills he gave me if the pain gets real bad.  My primary care doc gave me Ultram to relax the muscles and Xanax to ease my mind.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t tell your primary care doc you’re worried about addiction.”  Teller shook his head. “What a set-up,” I added. “You get to take the pills but blame the doc if things go bad.  All because you weren’t honest.”
“I didn’t lie,” Teller protested. 
He was too smart not to realize the seriousness of the situation.  Addiction was in his genes.   His brother had likely committed suicide because of his addiction.   A little of my annoyance seeped through when I said, “You weren’t completely honest either.  You didn’t tell the doc everything he needed to know.  If you want to avoid addiction, and a lot of life’s other problems, start by practicing rigorous honesty.  That includes lying by omission.”
“You’re right,” he said.  “Preachy and rigid, but right.”

Today I will practice rigorous honesty.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)


Thursday, March 19, 2015

A Void, Biology, and Chemistry
“Except for Sam, I don’t much like my in-laws,” Mikey said.  “I will say Betsy’s husband Bob really does love their kids.  The part I don’t get is that he just seems to love booze more.” 
I said, “It’s not about love. It’s about cellular biology. You can love someone with your whole heart, but they can only be next to you.  Your favorite chemical is in every cell of your body.  Until you get it out, you’ll always be closer to it than anything you love.”
“That sucks.”
“There’s an upside.  Once you stop using that chemical, you’re left with a void. At first that void can be a big pit of emptiness and anger. Probably a little depression and a whole lot of cravings.  But, you get to pick how you fill the void.  I don’t have any science to back this up, but I think whatever you put in the void you feel just a touch more intensely. Not at first - mainly because of brain chemistry - but eventually.
“What did you fill your void with?”
“Family. Recovery. Exercise.”
Mikey looked at me, glanced over at the scale, and looked back at me. “At least two of the three paid off.”

Today I will grateful for anything harmful I’ve eliminated,
and anything healthy I’ve replaced it with.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Pulling the suck out of success
I ran into Mikey at gym that night and asked him about Chad.  The more we talked, the clearer it became living with his parents’ multiple addictions had filled Chad’s life with disappointment and uncertainty.  Being the hero child distracted his family from their up and down situation, and gave Chad some measure of control.
Mikey said, “That kid is wound so tight. Straight A’s. Has a black belt.  Plays the trumpet better than kids two grades ahead of him.   Betsy and that boob she married like to put Chad on display, like his success proves there’s nothing wrong with them. Neither one of them seem to notice the kid gets no joy from any of it.”   
I thought about all the accomplished adults I knew who had never learned to enjoy their successes.  Many of them ended up in the rehab, baffled at how they could meet challenge after challenge, but couldn’t stop drinking.
“You know what I’m gonna do?  I’m going to teach that kid to celebrate just a tiny bit every time he scores.  Maybe just a fist pump, or a little stutter step after he makes a layup, but something.”
“It’s a start,” Mikey said. “It’s a start.”

Today I will find the joy in the smallest successes.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie:
The ebook version of Forgiveness in Recovery is available 3/16 through 3/20 at  http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Laughter, the best preventive medicine
“It” started a week later at the first practice. One of the players, a short stocky kid named Chad, turned out to be the son of Betsy, my gym buddy Mikey’s sister-in-law. 
We started practice with stretching, and then had the boys form two lines to shoot lay-ups.  After making several, Chad missed one.  He apologized to me, a pained look on his face. I told him to make the next one.  When his turn came up again, he caught the ball, his face a mask of grim determination.  He dribbled once with his left, switched to his right, took a long stride, up and in.  Perfect form.  No happiness, none of the cockiness exhibited by his teammates when they made a shot.  Just relief.  We ran the drill for ten more minutes and Chad made all but one of his shots.
“Everybody loose?” I asked the boys. “Let’s do some sprints.” Chad asked me if we had to run sprints because he missed another layup.  I told him no, and looked over at KC.  KC looked away.  The boy he had mentored had died running sprints.
“We are not running because any of you missed a layup,” I said to the whole team. I pointed to one of the kids.  “We are running because this young man said Coach KC is a miserable tyrant so old he played in short shorts and high socks, and shot his foul shots underhand into a peach basket.”
“Why you rotten little weasel,” KC said with mock anger. He took a step toward the kid who started to laugh.  The other players laughed, all except Chad.  He barely managed a weak smile.
 I said to myself, ‘If he doesn’t learn to relax, someday he’s gonna need a drink just to get through the day.’   I made it my mission to lighten Chad’s burden a little, to see that he had some fun.

Today I will try to lighten someone’s burden, today I will try to make someone laugh.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie:
The ebook version of Forgiveness in Recovery is available 3/16 through 3/20 at  http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Challenging
“Do you want to help coach?” KC asked.
“First tell me why nobody else wanted to,” I said.  “Why didn’t one of the dads volunteer?”
“Three of the dads and one of the moms volunteered.  The priest who runs the school tried to mediate, but the four of them couldn’t even agree on a time to meet. He threw up his hands and said none of them could coach.  The school nurse is a friend of my wife’s.  She told him about my playing days, and the priest called me.”
“So before we even start, four of the kids have a parent who thinks he or she should have been the coach. Great.”
“Some of the other parents were divided about who they wanted to coach.  They won’t be happy either.”
“This just gets better and better. You know the game, what do you need me for?” I asked.
“Just to help out. Work with half the team in practice.  Run some basic drills. We practice or have a game every day but Sunday.  With two coaches there’s a better chance one of us will always be available.” After the slightest of pauses, he added “Be in charge of their conditioning.”
And there it was, KC could get around his fear of pushing the kids by having me do it. Disgruntled parents, no money, lots of time, and a friend who’d be holding his breath whenever I made the kids run.
“OK,” I said. “When does it start?”

Today I will accept a challenge.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

Freebie:
The ebook version of Forgiveness in Recovery is available 3/16 through 3/20 at  http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.


Sunday, March 15, 2015

Short First Step
I called KC to give him Teller’s number.  KC told me he was considering a coaching position.  Over the years he had been offered many high school and college coaching jobs, but had always turned them down.  I had never fully understood why. KC explained that he had always wanted to coach, but that young boy’s death had haunted him.  He had been afraid he wouldn’t be able to push a team for fear a player might have a heart attack.
“I’m proud of you,” I said. “You’re taking that first step forward.”
 “Don’t be too proud of me,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ll be coaching St. Mike’s sixth grade boys. They couldn’t find anyone else, and my wife talked me into it. Not much of a first step.”
“It’s still a first step,” I said.  “The length of the stride doesn’t really matter.”

Taking the first step is a thousand times more important than the length of that stride.
Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Freebie:
The ebook version of Forgiveness in Recovery is available 3/16 through 3/20 at  http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Just Cause?
I had a doctor’s appointment and got to work late the next day.  The Other Ken was at the front desk talking to Ms. Rella. Before I got there, Terry had been arguing with The Other Ken, Ms. Rella, and several clients.  Apparently, his DUIs weren’t his fault. Society had nothing to gain from his incarceration. The cuisine at Allegheny County Jail wasn’t up to his standards.
Ms. Rella said, “He’s not really in denial.  He knows he has a problem.  Why does he keep arguing?”
“He’s a just ‘cause,” I said, shaking my head. “Some people fight for a just cause.  Some people fight just ‘cause that’s what they do.  Most just ‘causes will tell you they’re fighting for a just cause. They have a hard time letting go of their righteous anger, even if they know they’re wrong. Part of me feels bad for him.”

Today I will ask myself:
Am I fighting for a just cause, or just ‘cause?


Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Saving Face
I told Teller about KC and the young boy dying, how he was struggling to let go of his guilt.
“Do me a favor, Ken,” he said. “Give KC my number.  I know what he’s going through.  It may take me a long time to get over my guilt.”
Teller told me how he felt guilty over his brother’s suicide.  He had made no effort to help his brother.  “I never had a kind word for him,” he said.
“I know KC will appreciate that,” I said.

Today I will be grateful that whatever I must face, someone else has.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Storm
A few days later Teller called to say his surgery had gone well.  He hadn’t taken anything stronger than aspirin and the pain was manageable. 
“I’ve gone through some storms and come out the other side,” he said.  “Iraq, my brother’s death, my divorce – they toughened me up.  I learned from them.  I gotta tell you though Ken, I saw what the drugs did to my brother.  I think I knew before I talked to you, his death was no accident. I’d be happy to have this storm just pass me by.
I made a list of storms that had passed me by, things that could have happened to me but didn’t.  I tried to estimate how many times I had driven drunk without getting a DUI.  My list included all the physical and emotional problems people I knew had to cope with, but I had escaped.  I finished the list with all the people and things that made my life worth living.

Today I will be grateful for storms that passed me by.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Monday, March 9, 2015

Take Care
“So what are you doing for yourself?” I asked Mikey.
“Suzanne’s the one getting her heart broken,” he said. “I’m just trying to be there for her.”
“That’s gotta take a toll.  It’s also gotta stir up some stuff for you.  What are you doing for yourself?”
“Whaddya mean, ‘stir up some stuff’ for me?  My family’s normal,” he said, staring at me.  I knew his family, so I stared right back.  “Mostly normal,” he added. “Kinda normal.  OK, sheesh, we’re a lion and two monkeys shy of being a circus.  Doesn’t mean I “need help.”
“I’m not saying you need therapy. I’m just saying be kind to yourself. Care takers have to take care of themselves.”
“What if Suzanne needs me?”
“Betsy, being addicted, takes and takes and takes from anybody, no matter depleted that person might be.  Suzanne, struggling with co-dependency, gives and gives and gives, no matter how depleted she might be.  Neither learns there are times to take and times to give, people capable of giving help, and people who need to take care of themselves.  Help Suzanne when you can, but say no when you’ve had enough.  It’ll show her it’s OK to set limits, and there’s nothing wrong with taking care of you.


Today I will remember caretakers have to take care of themselves.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Heart broken by proxy
I saw Mikey again at the gym the next day.  He told me his wife Suzanne had caved into pressure from her family.  She had chipped in $500 to pay her sister Betsy’s debts. Only her brother Sam had refused to contribute.
Mikey said, “Suzanne has convinced herself this will be the last time the family will need to bail out Betsy.  Betsy isn’t doing anything about any of her addictions, including gambling.  Sam predicted Betsy would gamble away at least some of the money.  Now nobody in the family will speak to Sam, except for Suzanne.  In a month she’s gonna be heartbroken because Betsy will be broke.  Suzanne will feel guilty about not siding with Sam, and depressed because nothing will have changed. Her family will find an excuse for Betsy’s gambling.”
“Hard to watch?” I asked.
“It’s killing me.  But, until she’s willing to take a hard stance, she’s gonna get her heart broken.”



Today I will accept loved ones are free to make choices that break their hearts.
Life on Life’s Terms II
© 2015 by Ken Montrose


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The ebook version of Home Groupies, a novella told through daily messages will be available free of charge from Monday March 9th until Friday March 13th at:

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Expiration Date
KC and I were standing at the back of an AA meeting, talking about the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament, March Madness. I asked him about his own playing career.
A sad look crossed his face, and he asked me if he could tell me something.
“In high school I made the varsity team as a freshman.  I was the only one.  Varsity players coached the little kids.  On my first day of coaching, a fifth grader told me he was going to make varsity when he was a freshman.  That kid became my little blond shadow.  Whenever I was at the courts he’d show up. He always wanted to play on whatever team I ran. Loved that kid.”  KC stopped for a long couple of minutes before he could go on.
“The day before JV/varsity tryouts during the kid’s freshman year I saw him standing under the basket in the gym.  Something was wrong, I could see it.  He was so red all his freckles had disappeared.  I asked him if he was alright.  He said he was just a little winded, but deep down I knew there might be more to it. I should have told somebody, maybe made him talk to the school nurse.  Instead, I thought about how hard he had worked, and how he might just make varsity.  If he doesn’t look good tomorrow, I told myself, I’ll tell the coach.
“The next day the kid died during tryouts. Two days later I was sitting outside the church, just bawling.  I heard someone say, ‘Big man, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.  You cry if you need to.’  They didn’t know I was crying because I was ashamed.  His mother told me I was great guy and her son was lucky to have had me as a mentor.  I wanted to die. That’s when I really started drinking and smoking.” He paused and added, “I’ve never told anybody else that story.”
“I hope you’re telling me this because you’re ready to let it go,” I said.
“I’m trying to. It’s been thirty years, but I still feel guilty. I was the team captain.  I shoulda told the coach.”
“You were eighteen, just a kid yourself.  Let it go.”  I hoped he would.


Today I will remember most guilt has an expiration date.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose


Freebies
The ebook version of Heroin, Oxycontin, & Other Opiates: Breaking your addiction to them will be available free of charge from Monday March 2nd until Friday March 6th at:
http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I don’t see your point
Terry reminded me of another patient and that patient’s probation officer.  The probation officer had dropped him off at the treatment center, meeting me at the door.  The patient had signed a release for us to report his progress to the PO.  Halfway through his stay, the patient rescinded the release, and we were forbidden by federal law to speak to the PO.  When the PO called, I had to tell him I couldn’t confirm or deny any such patient existed. 
Older probation officers would have known what had happened, but this PO must have been new to his job. He reminded me he had dropped off the patient, we had spoken, and therefore he sure as hell knew such a patient existed.  He asked me if I was high.
I couldn’t blame him. Because he probably didn’t know what I knew about the federal law, my response made no sense.  I wondered how many times someone’s attitude or behavior made no sense to me because I didn’t understand the rules and laws they lived by.

Today I will accept not everyone will understand me, nor will I understand them.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Freebies
The ebook version of Heroin, Oxycontin, & Other Opiates: Breaking your addiction to them will be available free of charge from Monday March 2nd until Friday March 6th at:
http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Feel like a Duck
A week went by without Terry causing his usual morning ruckus, mostly because Terry skipped treatment the entire time.  Terry had been given the option of going to outpatient rehab instead of jail.  If he skipped treatment, we were required to notify the court. At 9:00 a.m. the following Monday the probation officers arrived, looking for Terry. 
The Other Ken was running the morning group, so I met with them in our waiting room.  The male probation officer said a warrant had been issued for Terry.  The female probation officer gave me her card and asked that we call if he showed up.  Just then Terry burst through the door to our waiting room, only to discover the welcoming committee. 
Terry protested that he was in treatment.  “You see that I’m here today, don’t you?” he asked, clearly annoyed, and apparently not grasping the seriousness of the situation.
“Sorry Terry, but it’s too little too late,” the female PO said.
This kick started Terry.  He launched into a tirade about stupid judges, lazy probation officers, and our staff’s inability to get real jobs.
When insulting us had no effect, he became threatening. The probation officers clearly didn’t know who he was and he would have their badges.  We were all going to get sued.  He would mount a campaign to have the judge removed from the bench.
As they were cuffing him, Terry tried reasoning with the officers.
“I don’t feel a couple of DUIs put me in the same category as drug dealers or wife beaters or shoplifters,” he said in as calm a voice as he could muster. “I don’t feel I belong in jail with them.”
To which the male PO replied, “If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, how it feels about being a duck doesn’t really matter, now does it?” 

Today I will remember,
what I do says a lot more about who I am than how I feel about what I do.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Freebies
The ebook version of Heroin, Oxycontin, & Other Opiates: Breaking your addiction to them will be available free of charge from Monday March 2nd until Friday March 6th at:
http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Spinning My Wheels
At work the next day, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do, starting with advertising a few books.  At first I couldn’t find the page I was looking for on one of the bookselling sites.  When I found the page I wanted, I couldn’t load my profile.  The site wouldn’t accept a book cover in any of the formats they asked for.  I finally skipped loading the cover and went to the payment page.  That page wanted information I didn’t have about my employer’s PayPal account. I started over trying to use my personal credit card. No luck, somewhere along the line my email address had been wed to my company’s PayPal account and no man could put it asunder.
“I’m spinning my wheels here,” I said to myself.  I switched sites.
The next site loaded instantly.  Because I had been trying to use the first site, I had all the information I needed ready for the second.  It accepted my credit card and I finished the whole process in less than five minutes.  ‘Spinning my wheels’ was really digging down to where the rubber met the road. 

Today I will grateful for the energy and time to spin my wheels.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Freebies
The ebook version of Heroin, Oxycontin, & Other Opiates: Breaking your addiction to them will be available free of charge from Monday March 2nd until Friday March 6th at:
http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Right Fear
Terry and Teller had so much in common.  Both were middle-aged white guys.  They even had similar sounding names.  The difference, I thought, was in their fears.  Terry had the problem, but wouldn’t admit it because he feared the treatment.  Teller feared the problem and wanted to make sure he never needed the treatment. Teller’s fear served him well, Terry’s was keeping him sick.
I’d always feared being anywhere I couldn’t leave – buses, planes, boats, trains. I didn’t like to be places without my own car. It was an irrational fear that had interfered with my life at times. I had worked hard to overcome it.
Twenty-six years sober, I still avoided being around alcohol by myself.  When I traveled alone, I wouldn’t eat anywhere they had a liquor license.  I feared someday I’d be sitting at a restaurant where nobody knew me, having a really bad day, wondering if after all those years if one drink really mattered.  Fearing that scenario had helped me stay sober for a long time. I made no effort to overcome it.

Today I will take stock of my fears.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

Freebies
The ebook version of Heroin, Oxycontin, & Other Opiates: Breaking your addiction to them will be available free of charge from Monday March 2nd until Friday March 6th at:
http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S.