Take Care

“So what are you doing for yourself?” I asked Mikey.

“Suzanne’s the one getting her heart broken,” he said. “I’m just trying to be there for her.”

“That’s gotta take a toll.  It’s also gotta stir up some stuff for you.  What are you doing for yourself?”

“Whaddya mean, ‘stir up some stuff’ for me?  My family’s normal,” he said, staring at me.  I knew his family, so I stared right back.  “Mostly normal,” he added. “Kinda normal.  OK, sheesh, we’re a lion and two monkeys shy of being a circus.  Doesn’t mean I “need help.”

“I’m not saying you need therapy. I’m just saying be kind to yourself. Care takers have to take care of themselves.”

“What if Suzanne needs me?”

“Betsy, being addicted, takes and takes and takes from anybody, no matter depleted that person might be.  Suzanne, struggling with co-dependency, gives and gives and gives, no matter how depleted she might be.  Neither learns there are times to take and times to give, people capable of giving help, and people who need to take care of themselves.  Help Suzanne when you can, but say no when you’ve had enough.  It’ll show her it’s OK to set limits, and there’s nothing wrong with taking care of you.

Today I will remember caretakers have to take care of themselves.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose