Novella

 Promises, Promises

When I got home I discovered my daughter Blondie had been home, looking for something in the cabinet.

I knew this because everything that had been in the cabinet was now on the counter, including a shot glass she’d gotten for me on a grade school trip to the zoo.

To her it had been a cute little glass with a tiger face on it.  To me it had been a reward for keeping a promise to myself.

Long before she was born I had promised myself I was done drinking. I’d kept that promise, one day at a time, for decades. 

My daughter had never seen me drunk. I’d never let her down because I was hungover. She’d never heard the booze say an angry word to her.

I laughed remembering she’d had no idea why giving me a shot glass was funny.

I thought of all the people I knew who’d reaped the rewards for keeping promises they’d made to themselves.

Today I’ll keep the promises I’ve made to myself.

 

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Happy Humbug!

Instead of working on my novella, I started the next day’s blog.

The holidays were fast approaching, and I tried to write something cheery and upbeat.  I wanted to include whatever holidays people who read my blog were likely to celebrate.

‘Whatever you celebrate, have the best holidays any human being has ever had since the dawn of time!’ seemed cheerful, but a little wordy.  I tried to shorten it, but couldn’t come up with anything I liked.

I settled on “Happy Holidays!’ not feeling so happy I couldn’t write anything original, but sincerely hoping people really did enjoy their holidays.

My inner grinch awoke in a foul mood, even for an inner grinch.

‘Add something about not winding up in the hospital, jail, or divorce court because of the dumb things you did after your fifth eggnog,’ he said.

I told him to shut up. He told me he hoped some low-hanging mistletoe poked me in the eye. I told him he was jealous because I was tall and he was imaginary.

Our argument ended when I agreed to add a warning to my holiday greeting.

“Happy Holidays!” (Don’t do anything you’re going to regret.)

Today I hope people enjoy their holidays without doing anything they’ll regret.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Push

A friend who annoyed and inspired me by succeeding in just about everything he did texted to see how the novella was coming along.

I texted ‘fine.’ He asked me to define ‘fine.’ I wrote back that fine could be a financial penalty for bad behavior, or refer to the size of particles, or …’

He sent me a laughing emoji, and asked me to define ‘equine posterior’ because that’s what I was being.

I told him the word count. Not a big number.

He told me in a nice way to put my posterior in a chair and write.

Over the years people had pushed me in different ways. I’d almost always resented them at first, but was happy later if I did what they suggested. 

Later that night, after I finished writing another chapter, I told my laptop I’d try to be grateful for people who pushed me, even if they were annoying.

Today I’ll try to be grateful for people who push me.

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

 

Help

The next message I saw was from someone offering to help me with book sales.

I started to delete it, always preferring to do things on my own. I wondered if maybe, with a little help, I could top the lousy $24 I’d made in royalties the year before.

“I don’t know,” I said to my laptop, still a little hesitant to seek help. “Do I really need expert advice on this?” I thought of times I had.

When I tore something in my knee, I saw an expert to fix it.

When hail damaged the roof, I trusted an expert to fix that.

“When I was struggling to stay sober,” I said to my laptop, “I went to AA to learn from the experts. That turned out well.”

 

Today I’ll accept expert help and advice.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Novella

Effort

The next morning I read what I’d written.

I had intended to write at least a page, but had only written about three short paragraphs.

“Not as much as I wanted to,” I said to the cat as I filled his water bowl.  He gave me that ‘I asked for milk’ look. I ignored it.

“But maybe, given how tired I was, I should be happy with the effort I made.”

The cat ignored me. He walked away, stiffening his back legs for a step or two. It’s how cats flip you off.

 

Today I’ll consider the effort as much as the result.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible
 

Novella

 

Beware the Nevers

My daughter Blondie had stopped by to drop off her chinchilla for my wife and I to babysit.

“Heard you’re starting another novel,” Blondie said, hugging me.

“I am,” I said. “Maybe not a full-length novel, more of a novella."

“Beware the nevers,” she reminded me. We started listing them.

“Telling yourself you’ll never succeed is a way to guarantee you won’t.”

“People who never try never have a word of encouragement for people who do. Never listen to them, Daddy.”

“Never mistake self-doubt for a reason to stop once you’ve begun.”

The list went on.  I thought about all the people I’d known who got past the nevers to change their lives.

As she was leaving, Blondie said, “Never tell Brat Boy I am, and always will be, your favorite child. It would break his poor, deluded heart.”

 

Today I’ll get past the nevers.

 

Novella is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

I Hear That

I told the group to draw the ears on the stick figure and list their three favorite sounds.

A young man asked if he could list things he’d be grateful to never hear again now that he was sober. I told him that was fine, and the group liked the idea.

“My wife not adding a ‘but’ after ‘I love you.’”

“The sound of my own voice when I’m lying about where I was, what I was doing, why I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.”

“’License and registration,’ followed by ‘step out of the car.’”

“My inner voice asking me why I keep doing this to myself.”

“My imaginative friends making up stories to fill the gaps in my memory.”

I added a few sounds of my own.

 

Today I’ll make a list of things I’ll be grateful to never hear again.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Not Self-Inflicted

The next day I woke up almost wishing I hadn’t.

My throat felt like I had been gargling glass. The pounding at my temples took my mind off the feeling my sinuses were about to blow out the front of my skull. 

I didn’t have the all over aches that come with the flu, but I was tired. So tired. Almost too tired to see out of my watery eyes.

The voice in my head, the one responsible for sarcastic remarks, asked, “So what are we ever so grateful for today?”

“It’s not a hangover,” I answered the voice. “I didn’t do this to myself.”

 

Today I’ll be grateful for whatever pain I don’t inflict on myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

You Don’t Know

That night I went to my home-group. The Preacher wasn’t in his usual spot up front, sitting near the back, off to the side instead.

Epiphany Chaser came and sat next to me. Mojo curled up between our feet, his head resting on my shoe. I scratched his ears.

“I’m the speaker tonight,” Epiphany said.  She seemed distracted, unusual for her.

“You Ok?” I asked.

“I am, but I hate dredging up some of my past.”

Nothing horrible had happened to her, despite her habit of getting drunk and putting herself in dangerous situations.  She’d grown up smart, pretty, and financially secure.

Early in her life, Epiphany had realized how unimportant she was to the people who mattered most to her.  She’d spent most of her life failing to get their attention.

Seeing the pain on her face as she described her loneliness was heartbreaking.

“It’s a cliché, but it’s true,” I said to Mojo. “You never know what someone has been through, what scars they bear.”  

I didn’t have to tell the dog the point was to be kind to people who may have fought battles you knew nothing about.

Today I’ll assume everybody has been through something.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 Small Battles

A young woman walked past my office, saw DipshitDumbass The Bunny, and turned around.

“Can I?” she asked pointing to him.

“Absolutely,” I said, waving her in. She sat opposite me and put DD in her lap.

She was very attractive, with a ready smile, made up, and fashionably dressed. If I passed by her on the street I would have thought she had not a care in the world.

“You may have noticed I’m a little overdressed for rehab,” she said with a slight chuckle.

“Well, you’re not wearing the ‘mussed hair, pajama chic’ look that’s popular around here.”

“I’m struggling to get sober, it’s a struggle.  Just to show myself I’m up to it, I’m trying to win little battles along the way.”

“Like getting dressed up when you don’t really feel like it?”

She nodded. “I like to think of doing anything I’m supposed to do when I don’t feel like it is winning a small battle. That and doing anything that makes me feel better about myself.”

 

Today I will win the little battles along the way.

 

 Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Good Influence

The next day I asked Dana how things were going with her daughter and the new boyfriend.

“I love this kid!” Dana said. “I was ready to not like him, thinking he might be the next Dope Without Hope, but he’s been nothing but a good influence.”

“How so?” I asked.

“The other day I heard him tell her she should learn a trade or go to college so she always had a profession.”

“You were eavesdropping?”

“I was being a mother.  The point is I told her the same thing, but The Princess could hear it from him.”

“Pays to have more than one good influence in your life,” I said.

“Makes you think you should try to be a good influence because you might be that one person somebody will listen to.”

 

Today I’ll try to be one more good influence.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Beware the Horrible Toblin

When I got back from my meeting, my neighbor was in my yard.  She asked me what I was going to be for Halloween.

I thought for a moment. Sober, clear-headed, at peace with the world? Awash in gratitude?

I wasn’t quite sure a six-year-old would understand what awash in anything meant.  

“I’m going to be a Toblin,” I said.

“What’s a Toblin?” she asked.

“A tall goblin that buries little girls in the leaf pile and steals their Halloween candy.” I looked over at the leaf pile. “Hey there’s some leaves, and you’re a little girl…”

She ran away shrieking and laughing as I chased her into her own yard. 

“Toblins are sooo slow,” she said, laughing even harder.

“Yes, but we’re sneaky.  Just you wait for Halloween.”  

As I walked into my house, I thought how lucky I was to be clear-headed. I knew a lot of people too consumed with anger, disappointment, envy, addiction, and the like to be grateful.

 

Today I’ll be grateful I’m clear-headed enough to be grateful.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Track Meet

I went to my homegroup that weekend. Before the meeting started, a newcomer tearfully told a group of us how she had struggled to stay sober the night before.

“I was a hurdler in college,” a tall, very thin, young man said to her. “You know what I learned?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t look back at the hurdle, no matter how you got past it, during the race.  If you fly over it, or you knock it down, keep moving.”

I nodded in agreement. “I’ve been sober a long time, but early on, I barely cleared the hurdles.”

“But you didn’t look back, you kept moving,” the young man said, finishing my thought.

“I kept moving,” I said. “Sometimes a little shaky, off-balance, banged up, but moving forward.”

 

Today I won’t look back at hurdles I’ve cleared.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

Time to Grieve

Turning away from the gravesite, a wave of sadness hit me.

My impulse to fight back against the dark cloud clicked into motion. I would write a gratitude list, ride my bike, have a good meal, watch a movie.  Like an engine sputtering then dying, I quickly lost enthusiasm for any of those options.

I thought of the losses I’d suffered over the years. I didn’t want to wallow in this one, but I wondered if I shouldn’t allow myself a little time to grieve.

Today I’ll allow myself a little time to grieve.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible
 

Fawlty Showers 2

 

For Example

I went to the burial. Standing back from the grave I saw many people crying, but more than a few had smiles on their faces, no doubt remembering something funny Talmadge had said or done.

“You really showed people how life should be lived,” I said softly.

The wind shifted. I turned toward the smell, not surprised to see smoke drifting out from behind a tree.  Talmadge’s son-in-law was getting high while his wife and three boys grieved.

Talmadge had set a good example for everyone around him.  Not everyone had learned from that example. 

I thought of all the good people I’d known.  I made up my mind not to let their example be wasted on me.

 

Today I won’t waste a good example.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Sleepy Time

Dr. Deb sat down next to me on the couch. She looked into my eyes, and shook her head.

“You’ve been burning the midnight oil again,” she said with a disapproving tone.

“I’m OK.”

“You’re worried about your friends in AA, and you’re not sure what will happen with your boss moving to corporate.”

“What’s your point?” I asked.

“That when things weigh on your mind, you work late to distract yourself. What you really need is more sleep.”

She was right, but I wasn’t ready to surrender.  “OK, I’m just gonna work on a short story for half an hour, then I’ll be up to bed.”

Dr. Deb snorted. “It’ll take you half an hour to find where I hid your laptop.”

I followed her up the stairs, on my way to a good night’s sleep.

Tonight I’ll try to get enough sleep.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

What Dads Do

“So how are you going to do it?” Epiphany asked as we left the meeting. “Talmadge is in Florida.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Pretend you’re just standing around talking to Talmadge, while you’re really watching to see that I get to my car OK, in the safest neighborhood in Pittsburgh.”

“Was I that obvious?” I asked, knowing the answer.

Epiphany punched me. “You two looked like you were on guard duty, scouting the neighborhood for enemy soldiers.”

“Sorry, force of habit. I was just doing what dads do, even though you’re not my child.”

She smiled. “OK, it’s still annoying, but it’s also a kind of a nice way to show you care.”

As she walked away she turned and looked over her shoulder.

I pretended to talk into my watch, like I was Secret Service, “This is the Coachman. The Evil Stepsister has left the ball. I repeat the Evil Stepsister has left the ball.”

She made a rude gesture and we both laughed.

Today I’ll find a new way to show someone I care.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

The Upside of Powerlessness

“Where’s Margaret?” I asked Epiphany Chaser.

“You didn’t hear?” she asked. “She relapsed. Missed several days of school. Got placed on administrative leave.”

“Dammit,” I muttered. “When will she learn?”

“No sense getting mad. You and I both know we’re powerless over what other people do.”

“Sucks being powerless,” I said.

Epiphany shrugged. “If someone becomes a true friend, maybe even loves you, you know it was by choice. That’s the upside of powerlessness.”

I smiled. “I guess powerlessness has its advantages.”

 

Today I’ll be grateful I’m powerless over what people do, including loving me.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible