Monday
December 1, 2014

Reconnecting

Kim looked sad. "I have a daughter. She's 23 now. I miss her over the holidays."

"When was the last time you saw her?" Seal asked.

"Twenty-Three years ago.  I gave her up for adoption."

"You had money," Tony said.  "You had resources.  You could have gotten a nanny to help raise her. I'm not judging you, I'm just asking, why'd you give her up?" 

"Even with a nanny one is expected to spend time with her child.  I was having too much fun."

Silence fell over the group.

"I know where she is," Kim said.  "I've talked with her parents.  They have no objection to me meeting her.  I think about meeting her every time I get sober."

"So why don't you get in touch?" Tony asked.

"I'm afraid to take the first step," Kim said.  After a long pause she added. "It might be really – I don't know – really, really awkward."

Tony said, "You get over awkward." Like most people in the group I was surprised to hear his voice crack and to see a tear in his eye.

Today I won't let a little awkwardness get in the way of reconnecting with someone.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Greenbriar publications are available at:

 greenbriartraining.com and http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Relapse Prevention Group will return on Monday.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday
November 25, 2014

Karma

"My ex had a heart attack," Michelle said smiling from ear to ear.

"I know he dumped you for a younger woman, but can you really be happy about that?" Roger asked. Roger's ex-girlfriend had been fifteen years younger than his wife.

"He lived.  He was snorting coke in bed with one of his twenty-somethings.  She panicked – I'm guessing the coke was hers – and bolted.  He had to call 911 himself." 

With mock sincerity Kim asked, "Are you're hoping this will be his wake-up call? Do you think he's seen the light and will live a more spiritual life from this day forward?"

Michelle laughed.  Seal snorted.  Martell shook his head and said, "Man got what he deserved. Karma."

"He got run over by karma," Michelle said, her smile fading a bit.  "I do feel guilty about being so happy over his misfortune."

"You're human and he betrayed your trust," Seal said.  "I wouldn't feel too bad."

Today I won't judge myself harshly if I'm happy karma has gotten somebody deserving.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Greenbriar publications are available at greenbriartraining.com and http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Monday November 24, 2014

RPG

Life and death, millimeters and seconds

Group was supposed to start at 9:00.  By 9:20 only Martell and Seal were in the group room.

"Where is everybody?" I asked them both.

"There was a big pileup on 79 North," Seal said. "They may be caught behind it.  The news guy said the ice was only as thick as a greeting card. Three people were taken to the hospital.  One was taken by helicopter to Allegheny General.  He's in critical condition." A silence fell over the three of us.

By 11:00 everyone had arrived safely.  The stragglers compared notes.  Tony had been almost four miles behind the accident.  Kim had been three cars behind the last car to crash.  She had seen several cars in front of her skid into the pile.

I thought about life, death, a couple millimeters of ice, and the few seconds that must have separated Kim's car from the last car to crash.

"I am so grateful you are all here, safe and sound!" I said.  I meant it. 

Today I will be grateful for all the people in my life,

knowing the difference between life and death is sometimes millimeters or seconds.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Friday
November 21, 2014

RPG

Correction

The next day I was ready to send out my daily message when I noticed a glaring error.  I wondered how many times I had read the message without seeing that error.  After correcting the mistake, I sent out the message, hoping I hadn't missed any other typos.  I was happy I had caught my mistake before I forwarded it to the 1,500 people who read my messages.

That day's gratitude list included mistakes I had been able to correct.

Today I will be grateful for mistakes I can or did correct.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7393493-epilogue-julie 

Thursday
November 20, 2014

RPG

The importance of stretching

Later that evening I was at the gym, hanging from the pull-up bar.  A friend walking by said, "You know you're supposed to pull yourself up, right?  You don't get any stronger hanging around like a lazy bat."

As a child I had burned half my chest and back.  Every so often I needed to stretch the skin around my shoulder to keep a full range of motion.  I was going to tell Mikey that.  Instead I said, "Mikey, you're getting huge!"

"Really?" he asked, obviously pleased. "I've been lifting a lot of weights."

"Oh yeah, the non-stop talking workouts are making your jaw muscles bulge."

He muttered something about me being akin to a wise mule.

I went back to stretching my scar, determined not let the things that had damaged me limit me.  I decided not to allow past damage limit my heart, nor to let my thinking grow stiff. 

Today I will not let past damage limit me.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7384466-priorities 

Wednesday
November 19, 2014

RPG

Agreeable disagreements

After the group Julie and Seal, the two primary combatants during the session, hugged.  Julie told Seal she was sorry for all that Seal had suffered.  She said she admired Seal's strength.  Seal said she admired Julie's faith, even though she had little of her own.

I was struck at how such a nasty argument had brought the two closer.  Too often I had counseled people who had ended relationships over a single argument. 

I will be grateful when an argument brings me closer to someone.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7373039-drop-outs

Tuesday
November 18, 2014

RPG

A reasonable plan

When it was Julie's turn to speak she said, "There is a Devine plan for all of us."

Seal reacted as if she'd just been kicked in the shins. "Was it part of God's plan for me to be beaten and abused? There's no plan." Julie and Seal got into a heated discussion. Tony and Kim sided with Seal, while Martell and Roger sided with Julie.

Michelle tried to inject some rationality into the discussion, hoping to calm down the entire group.  "There's two issues here, plan and reason." Seal wasn't having it, and the discussion got louder.

Finally, Julie said to me, "Tell them there is a Divine plan."     

I said, "Sometimes I think the plan is for us to reduce each other's suffering.  We have the tools, but we'd rather argue about the plan.  People love to say 'everything happens for a reason.'  What's the Divine reason for child abuse, starvation, rape, murder, and disease?   Maybe that reason is we haven't followed the plan, we haven't done enough to help each other."

Today I plan to do more for others.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7372228-normally-happy 

MondayNovember 17, 2014

RPG

Doing what we can

At the next group session Roger talked about paying off $1,000 of the hundreds of thousands he owed.

"Shoulda gone to Vegas," Tony said.  "You mighta turned that grand into a bundle.  Paid off a lot of debts."

"I did what I could with the money I had," Roger said.

Kim said, "His creditors wouldn't have liked him going to Las Vegas on money he owed them. He'd probably have lost the money and the chance to pay them the grand."  Several group members nodded in agreement.  "Better to do what he can than bet on what he might be able to," Kim said.  More heads nodded.  Tony rolled his eyes.

Today I will do what I can with what I have.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at:https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7367775-epilogue-james

Friday
November 14, 2014

Harsh Judgment

"Their family invited me to dinner," Martell said. "They think I saved the boy's life.  They're grateful."

"You don't look happy about it," I said. 

"I can't help but think if I'd been a little faster, I might have saved his hand.  I hesitated a couple of seconds before I pulled his arm out of the machine."

"Are you really going to beat yourself up because you hesitated before you stuck your hand into machinery?  What would you say to me if I told you I didn't like reaching into the garbage disposal even when it was turned off?"

Martell thought for a moment, then said, "I'd say that was pretty normal." He thought for another moment.  "It's human to fear things that can hurt us.  I still can't help but wish I'd  been a little faster, a little braver."

"And I wish you wouldn't judge yourself more harshly than you'd judge another human being."

Today I will not judge myself more harshly than I would any other person.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7349858-liam

ThursdayNovember 13, 2014

RPG

Collateral Advantage

The next day Martell looked a little down.

"What's up?"  I asked him after group.

"That boy lost his hand," Martell said, shaking his head.  He held up his own scarred hand. "Damn near lost my own hand.  Still didn't pull that boy's hand out of the machine in time to save it."

"No, but you did achieve all kinds of collateral advantage."

"Collateral advantage?"

"Collateral damage is when you destroy more than you meant to.  Collateral advantage is when you create more good than you expected.  You just wanted to save that boy's hand. OK, that didn't happen. But, you saved his arm, you inspired Seal and the group, you showed a lot of us just how selfless people can be.  That's collateral advantage."

Martell smiled and said, "Hmmm, maybe."

"No maybe about it," I said.  "And I believe most good deeds produce collateral advantage.  Sometimes it's just not so obvious."

Today I do something good, hoping to produce collateral advantage.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming Trainings

November 14, 2014 at Greenbriar-New Kensington

9:30 a.m. to 12:45 p.m$30 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This three hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to: kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7346594-moving-on

Wednesday
November 12, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Gratitude

"That's how this book ends?" my son asked.  "With you counting your blessings?"

"Yes," I said.

"You can't use gratitude as your topic two days in a row."

"I can.  I will."

"I still think you should have less about gratitude, and more about zombies, vampires, and super villains. Just saying."

"I'm grateful for your input, son."

Gratitude.

  Life on Life's Terms © 2014 by Ken Montrose

To order electronic versions of Greenbriar publications visit:

                                        http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S

Upcoming  Trainings

Blue Collar Spirituality/Sober Hedonism

November 14, 2014 at Greenbriar-New Kensington

9:30 a.m. to 12:45 p.m

$30 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This three hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to: kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7339713-a-kind-heart

RPG

Lessons from a lying laptop

Later, that night I was working on my laptop.  I clicked the icon for my battery.  A message popped up saying I had 45 minutes of power left. Five minutes later my laptop abruptly shut off. I was reminded of a quiz I had taken online that predicted I would live to be 89.7 years old. I hoped I didn't shut off abruptly sooner than that.  I thought about all the assumptions I made every day about how much time I had with the people around me, to do things I enjoyed, or to complete certain tasks. 

My laptop taught me two lessons.  One, Jason The IT Guru was wrong.  Computers were capable of being dishonest, and loved misleading people.  And two, I needed to get the most out of right now.

I will get the most out of today.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Tuesday
November 11, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Counting

On a Monday, after a frustrating weekend, I got stuck in a traffic jam that went on for miles and miles.  I missed thirty-five minutes of an hour-long lunchtime presentation.  I left the presentation muttering about my losing streak and the world in general.  As I walked up the sidewalk, it dawned on me that I was between the Washington City Mission and the back of the Washington County Jail.  My self-pity evaporated.

Cliché as it sounds, today I will count my blessings.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming  Trainings

Writing Group Notes, Treatment Plans, and Workbooks
November 12, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona
9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m
$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This five hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to: kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7333607-who-am-i-today

RPG

Spotters

When I got home that night my son was in the basement lifting weights.

"Spot me, Dad?" he asked.  I stood behind him as he lay on the bench, lowering the bar to his chest, then pressing it upward.  "Thanks Dad," he said when he was done.  "I always get a couple more reps when you spot me."

I thought about people who had been my spotters as I struggled with life's heavy lifting.  I made a list of family, teachers, and coaches who helped me navigate my early years.  The many people who coached me through my first year of recovery made the list.  Others whose experience, hope, and strength guided me in hard times were added.  Finally, I listed all the people who had enabled me to do a little more.

When I was done, I realized many people on the list knew how grateful I was for their help.  Others probably weren't aware how much they had helped me.  I decided the second group deserved to know I appreciated their help.

Today I will make sure my spotters know how much I appreciate them.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Monday
November 9, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Over the falls

A year later Smiley lost his job at the FDA.  He turned in reports for tests he hadn't run.  To nobody's surprise, Smiley tried to sue the FDA again.  He argued that the tests were routine and he knew how they'd turn out.  His suit was thrown out of court.   As I had predicted, his earlier victory against the FDA would set him up for a fall.  It made me sad to be right.  It also got me wondering if any of my character defects might be setting me up for a fall.

Today I will take a long look at my own character defects.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming  Trainings

Writing Group Notes, Treatment Plans, and Workbooks
November 12, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona
9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m
$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This five hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to: kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7328364-temptation-ii

RPG

Connections

Martell said "I never forgot about my father, but he's forgotten me.  He's 88 and living in a nursing home.  He when first sees me, he's confused.  He knows I'm not one of the nurses.  Then I start reading to him, and he nods.  Sometimes he says 'Oh, you're the reading man.'" Martell smiled, but his voice trailed off.

Tony said, "This weekend the old man and me are gonna hit the trifecta – casino, buffet, strip club.  I ain't gonna drink, but my dad and me are gonna have some fun." He added a brief description of what he and his father looked for in a pole dancer.

Kim and Michelle glared at Tony.   

Seal turned her attention back to Martell.  "It's nice you have at least a small connection with him."

"There's not much of a connection left," Martell said with a smile, "but I'm grateful it's lasted so long."

Today I will be grateful for lasting connections.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Friday
November 7, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Too Happy

Kate called several months later to say she had finished her first year of law school. "I'm second in my class," she said.  "Everything is going great!"

"I'm very happy for you," I said.

"The guy who cheated on me is still there," she said.  "He's not doing so well.  I heard he's second from the bottom in his class."

"You must be enjoying that little bit of irony," I said. 

She cursed, which was unusual for Kate.  "I want so badly to enjoy his struggles, but I can't. I'm too #$*%@ happy about my own life.  Do you know I actually feel sorry for him? @#$%^&*!!"

Today I will be too focused on what's working in my life to pay attention to 

what's not working in somebody else's.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming Trainings

Writing Treatment Plans, Group Notes, Workbooks, etc.

November 12, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona

9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m

$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This five hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to:kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7312815-better-not

RPG

Paths

"I'd cross paths with my mother at holidays and in the Caribbean," Kim said.  "The next good time was always first in my mother's mind."

"What about your dad?" Roger asked.

"I broke his heart," Kim said.  "My parents met at a frat party.  My mother's family was rich.  After they got married, she couldn't understand why he needed to work.  They could have lived comfortably on her money.  When he stopped partying with her, she found a boyfriend, then another, and another. He had hoped I'd become a responsible adult, but I followed in mother's footsteps."

Today I will be careful where I step.  I may be creating a path for others to follow. 

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Thursday
November 6, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Lesson from rainy day dogwoods

The next day the fluorescent lights strained to keep the dark and dreary outside from breaching my office window.  Looking a little past the parking lot, I noticed the dogwoods in full bloom.  The scene reminded me of the joy of seeing old friends at a funeral.  Darkness might be all around, but beauty lived in their familiar faces and shared times.

Today I will be grateful for whatever beauty I see through the darkness.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming Trainings

Writing Treatment Plans, Group Notes, Workbooks, etc.

November 12, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona

9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m

$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This five hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to:kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7302710-addition-by-subtraction-two-days-later

RPG

Spread the wealth

At our next meeting Seal told the group her mother had stopped by to see her. Seal's mother had been so happy she couldn't stop crying.  "I never realized how much she suffered along with me while I was living with my abusive boyfriend," Seal said, wiping a tear from her eye.  "And I didn't change my life because of her.  To be honest my ex-boyfriend sorta drove my family away and I kinda forgot about them.  I can't tell you what a bonus it was to connect with them.  I'm so happy for my mother."

I thought about what a mess my life had been when I was drinking, and how many times I'd disappointed my family.  Then I remembered how things changed after I got sober.  We'd pull the big recliner closer to the fireplace.  My mother would warm her feet, our yorkie curled up in her lap, a contented smile on her face.  I had turned my life around for me, but as a result my mother found a place of warmth and contentment.

Today I will be grateful when things I've done for myself make other people happy.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Wednesday
November 5, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

"Happiness shared is doubled."

My son had a basketball tournament that weekend.  His sister had to work on a school project and missed his games.  She hadn't been able to play that season because of injury.

When we got home from the last game of the tournament, she yelled from her bedroom, "How'd you do, Brat Boy?"

"OK," he said.

She waited for more details, knowing my wife or I would have to provide them.

"He played great defense and he scored a little more than usual.  Coach was really pleased with him," I said.

"Way to go Brat Boy!" she said.  I could hear in her voice she was genuinely happy for him.  Rather than being resentful that she couldn't play, she let his happiness take some of the sting out of her disappointment.

Today I will share in someone else's happiness.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Upcoming Trainings

Ethics in the Helping Professions

November 5, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona

9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m

$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This six hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to:kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7301314-delayed-gratification

RPG

Better do your best

Later that night I was struggling to revise a training. 

"Whatcha working on?" my wife asked.

"Trying to improve this training," I said. 

"What's wrong with it?  Did you get some bad reviews?"

"Nothing's wrong with it.  I just have a lot of people scheduled for it, and I want it to be better."

"You look beat," she said.  "You've given it your best.  Go to bed."

"How can I say I gave it my best if I go to bed?"

"Some days your best isn't going to be your best ever. Some days you sprint and some days all you can do is jog. The only time you aren't doing your best is when you have the energy to sprint, but you jog instead. You've reached a point in your day where you're way past doing your best work. Jog on upstairs." 

Today I will accept my best may vary from day to day.

Relapse Prevention Group (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Tuesday
November 4, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Crisis to crisis

I couldn't let it go. "What did your OB/GYN say about the shadows and your suspicions?" I asked.

"I never told her and I wouldn't let Darren tell her either," Julie answered.

"Did you talk to a psychiatrist?"

"No.  I was afraid they might put me on medications."

"A therapist? A social worker? Somebody?"

"Listen Ken, I was worried.  Now I'm not.  The crisis has passed.  No point in seeing somebody now."

"You lay the groundwork for the next crisis when you do nothing but survive the last one," I said. "Go see somebody.  Be proactive. Don't live crisis to crisis."

"If it will make you happy, I'll call the mental health place," she said, rolling her eyes.  I was pretty certain she wouldn't.

Today I will do whatever I can not to live crisis to crisis.

Upcoming Trainings

Ethics in the Helping Professions

November 5, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona

9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m

$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This six hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to:kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/7278925-rules

RPG

A bolt from the blue

Out of the blue, and not related to anything that was being discussed, Michelle said, "It's time for me to move on."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Yesterday I was all about hanging on.  I was hanging on to my ex, and my 20s, and the big house, and the car.  Today I'm ready to move on."

"Just like that?" Tony asked.  "Yesterday you were trying to be college girl and today you're an old divorced woman?"

"You have a horrible way of putting things," Michelle said, sounding a little annoyed.  "I made the decision to let go, 'just like that.'  On the other hand, it's gonna take me awhile to grow into my 40s.  Now I'm at peace with starting the process."

Kim put an arm around Michelle's shoulder.  Seal smiled at her.  Martell said, "I'm glad you've come to terms with your age.  Will you miss the house and car?"

Michelle laughed. "No! I'm gonna keep holding onto the house and the car.  I'm maturing, but I'm not getting stupid."

I will be grateful anytime for any sudden flashes of acceptance that come my way.

I will remember acceptance is just the start of growth.

  

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose