Going back going forward

Terry and I talked about some of the things he wanted to do, including repairing old relationships.  He planned to fix them by convincing loved ones they were just as wrong as he was. This hadn’t worked in the past, but now that he was sober he thought he could be more convincing.  I tried to explain the NA slogan ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes.’   When that didn’t work I asked him, “Are you putting the car in drive to go back or are you going in reverse? Putting the car in drive means turning yourself around so you see things from a different perspective. It means correcting your mistakes, and making amends.  Driving in reverse means going back and repeating past mistakes, rehashing old arguments. 

I suggested ‘putting it in drive’ meant accepting responsibility for his part in past arguments and moving on no matter how his loved ones reacted.  He wasn’t thrilled with that idea.

“What about my friends at the bar?” he asked.  “I think I should go back one more time to say goodbye.”

“Some places we shouldn’t go back to in forward or reverse,” I said.  He liked that suggestion even less.

Today I will go forward, even if I’m going back.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)