Proxy Wars

I felt sick as I left the hospital.  My legs felt heavy.  The clenching of the small muscles in my head gave me a headache and narrowed my vision.  I couldn't think straight.  I went to practice early, hoping the kids’ upbeat spirit would lift my mood. 

As I walked into the gym, I overheard a mom say she had given her son an energy drink to get him ready for practice.  I wanted to tell her that rather than saving for college, she should start a rehab fund for him.  She just might squirrel away enough to send him to a prestigious treatment center.  ‘Stash the money you’d waste on dental care ‘cause he’ll probably lose his teeth,’ I wanted to say. ‘You know how these kids give each other nicknames, how they call them ‘tabs’? How does Tweeker sound to you? How about Speedy for a tab? Skinny? Scabby? One of those tabs grab you?’

I didn't say any of those things because I knew I’d be yelling at her when I really wanted to yell at Teller.  As rationally as I could manage, I told her what I did for a living, and why I thought pumping her sixth grader full of caffeine and other chemicals was a really, really, bad idea.  I talked about precedent and patterns, and how they’re set early.

She thanked me.  She said she’d think about what I’d said.  I was fairly certain she thought I was completely off base with my ‘energy drinks as a gateway drug’ speech.  I couldn't blame her, but I felt sad about not getting through to her.

On the other hand, I hadn't unloaded my anger with Teller on her.  Too often I had seen people use loved ones as proxies for people they wanted to confront.  I had witnessed many parents venting their anger with one another on their children, and adults who used friends and family as stand-ins for coworkers they couldn't or wouldn't confront.   I was glad not to have used her as a proxy for Teller.

Today I will not use anyone as a proxy.

  

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)