Managing my gratitude

I called KC to tell him about my conversation with Mikey.  Like me, he was thrilled with idea of having Chad back, but uneasy about Mikey sneaking his nephew into practice.

“Teller’s wife called me,” KC said, changing the subject.  “They can’t be sure, but it looks like Teller suffered some serious damage.  Not likely he’ll recover much functioning.”

“Will he live?” I asked, not certain I wanted to hear the answer.

“Not really. He has some brain functioning, but not a lot.  Machines will keep him from dying. He’ll need a ventilator, IVs, and a feeding tube.”

I thought about the way Twelve Step programs talk about life becoming unmanageable.  Teller’s life couldn’t be any less manageable.  He controlled nothing, including his own breathing.  I wondered how his wife’s life would change.  How would she manage? Thinking how Teller could have avoided this nightmare did nothing to lift my mood. 

After KC hung up, I sat down to write a strange gratitude list.  I drew a stick figure, my house, and my office.  Next to each one I wrote everything I got to manage in each sphere of my life.  I listed things like breathing, walking, sleeping, eating, reading, typing, writing, and speaking.  As I looked over my list, I thought how one accident, or a disease like ALS, could erase items.

Today I will be grateful for the things I can still manage.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)