Sunday, May 3, 2015

Safety Test
The group moved on to a new topic.  Benjamin, a young man struggling with multiple addictions had gone to a bar over the weekend, but was proud he hadn't gotten drunk.
“I just wanted to test my recovery, see if I could be around alcohol,” Benjamin said.  “Didn't drink, so I’m feeling like I passed a kinda safety test to be in bars.”
“Why are you testing your recovery?” I asked.  “What are you hoping to gain?  I want the car company to test  airbags because they could save my life.  I don’t want to test my sobriety because it won’t make me safer.  If I ‘prove’ I can be around alcohol without drinking, being around alcohol becomes more acceptable to me.  The more I’m around it, the less of an impulse I need to drink. My recovery becomes less safe from testing.”
“Besides, you tested your sobriety by meeting your bookie at a strip club,” Marty, an older man struggling with an addiction to painkillers, said to Benjamin.”
“I’m not addicted to gambling or women,” Benjamin insisted.  “No test needed.”
“At twenty-eight you’re already twice divorced and about to lose your girlfriend, partly because you tested her tolerance for your shenanigans.  Do I need to mention your gambling has you in debt up to your eyeballs?” his friend Martin asked.   “Love ya’ kid, but you already failed all them tests.”
“Speaking of tests,” I said, “The Other Ken scheduled surprise drug screens today.” Several group members looked panicked, and informed me they had been drug screened earlier in the week. 


Today I’ll remember there’s no safe way to test an addiction, a marriage, or a relationship.
 Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)

No comments:

Post a Comment