Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Smart Bears, Angry Rats
Bet Heavily on the Universe 75 years from now
T Cell's face appeared on the iWall. "Listen Dad,
I wanted to let you know that mom is getting married next month."
The screen on the iWall split in half and Olsen and
Ubutu appeared on the right side. They
were standing in front of the security monitor by the elevator on the first
floor. Sammy noticed Olsen had tweezers
and a small plastic bag in his hand.
"We're going to need a hair sample," Olsen
said. His face was grim.
This day couldn't get any worse, Sammy thought. Not able to look Olsen or Ubutu in the eye, even
though they were just images on the iWall, he glanced over at the rodent
habitats. Two of the mice were huddled
in the corner, not moving, their eyes glassy.
"The pet store mice don't have the immunities the
experimental mice have," Sammy said softly. "They're going to die."
"What?" Olsen asked.
'The universe may have aligned against me, but I am
not unarmed,' he thought. Sammy turned
his back to the screen and slipped another slip of Lil' Bit under his
tongue. He shivered violently.
"Dad!" T Cell said.
"Tell your mother I'm very happy for her,"
Sammy lied. "Come on up," he
said to Olsen and Ubutu.
Today I will remember:
·
more of whatever
I did to anger the universe isn't likely to patch things up between us,
· my chances of beating the universe aren't very high, especially if I am; and
·
there is no drug
that will improve my chances.
g-NAts
Quack"We have to write an essay on why New Year's resolutions fail," my daughter said to me when I got home that night. "We get bonus points for using good examples, double bonus for metaphors, similes, and analogies. You do know the differences between the three, right?"
I pretended that I did, even though I had no clue. I said, "Three guys are trying to start
their lawnmowers. The first guy pulls
the starter cord again and again and again without any success. He quits.
"The second guy pulls the starter cord and
nothing happens. He checks the gas tank
and pulls the cord again. Nothing
happens. He checks the spark plug and
pulls the cord again. Nothing happens. He checks the oil and pulls the cord. Nothing
happens. Finally, he cleans the air
filter, pulls the cord, and the lawnmower starts.
"Before he pulls the cord, the last guy does
everything the second guy did. He pulls
the cord and the lawnmower starts."
"You're saying before you start something, make
sure you have all your ducks in a row," she said. I hoped she wouldn't ask me if the ducks were
a simile or a metaphor.
"If you're going to lose weight, get rid of your
binge foods, buy a pair of comfortable sneakers, figure out what kind of cardio
and weight training works best for you.
Do those things first."
"So how does AA fit into your analogy?"
"AA is where I found the sobriety duck
herders. Almost every endeavor has
someone to help you get them all in a row. "
Today I will be grateful for duck herders.
Freebies
I've added a second freebie this week, the Kindle versions of Staying Clean Taking Medications and Dancing with Rachel (a novel). The Kindle versions are available at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
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