62. Euphemistically speaking

Sam came back, expecting to pick up where he left off. He admitted he had eaten a few Oxys and smoked some weed. His drug screen was positive for benzodiazepines as well.

“I didn’t relapse, I just had a little slip,” he said, laughing.  “A slip is no big deal.”

“Slip is just a euphemism for relapse,” I said.  He stared at me. I added, “A euphemism softens language. Instead of saying someone died, you say she passed away.  If you keep slipping, and you and your lawyer are caught bribing child welfare workers and judges, you will learn some new euphemisms. Let me use a few to describe your future. You will receive government funded transportation to a correctional facility. There you will be surrounded by men dedicated to weight lifting, but unconcerned with societal norms, laws, or customs.  You will have to exchange monetary considerations for safe passage through the rooms and corridors of your new home.  Otherwise, they will make medically unnecessary incisions upon your person using handcrafted cutlery.”

“What does that mean?” Sam asked

“They will haul your butt to prison. You’ll either pay protection money, or muscle-bound career criminals will shank you. Doesn’t sound so good when you eliminate the euphemisms, now does it?”

Today I will beware of fooling myself with euphemisms.

Writing My New Story © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: Writing My New Story is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)