Tuesday
January 13, 2015

Chasing My Tale

Tony told the group he’d spent the weekend writing his mother a long letter.

Michelle said, “Not to be mean, but if you’re parents split when you were ten, what kind of relationship did you have with them? I’m betting they were too busy fighting to spend quality time with you. No offense.” 

Tony seemed stunned.  He sat quietly, pondering her question.  “I have a few good memories, but mostly I remember the tension. At the end, the only relationship I had with my mom was being her messenger.  She’d tell me mean things to say to my father since she wouldn’t talk to him.”

“Then why exactly are you trying to connect with her?  I know she’s your mother, but you really don’t have a happy relationship to restore, and she hasn’t given you anything to hold onto since the divorce twenty-odd years ago.  What are you chasing?”

“I think I’m chasing a relationship with her because I’ve got this fairy tale in my head.  She forgives me for choosing my dad.  I forgive her for ignoring me all these years.  We live happily ever after.  I chase that tale.”

The group talked about tales they had chased – relationships that could never be, fantasies about hitting the lottery, and stories they told themselves about themselves, dressed up with denial about their faults and addictions.

“Maybe it’s time we stop chasing our tales,” I said to the group.

Today I won’t chase my tale.

Relapse Prevention Group © 2014 by Ken Montrose

Today's Freebies

The following ebooks are free at http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S

• Choosing A Higher Purpose
• Home Groupies
• Meditations for the First 30 Days: How not to become roadkill on the highway to recovery