Friday
September 12, 2014
Life on Life's Terms
Laughing at Snakes
What about her other
brother?" I asked. "What's his
name, Evan?"
"Oh, he's a
peach!" my wife said, shaking her head. "Evan thanked her for keeping
the wedding quiet, 'so as not to embarrass the family by drawing attention to
her addicted lifestyle.'"
"Oh, harsh!"
I said.
"It gets
better. He suggested she get her tubes
tied before she created any junkie babies."
"Poor
Tiffany. She must be crushed."
"Not really. She was laughing when she told me about
Evan. Tiffany said he's a snake that
likes to hiss and rattle. That's good because
you never forget he's a snake, he can't sneak up on you. She also said hissing snakes take themselves
way too seriously, and can't stand it when you don't."
"So what'd she say
to Evan?"
"She was going to
wear a wedding dress that would make a hooker blush and have her picture
printed on the society page. She planned
to post the picture on all the social media and send it to everyone he knows.
Then she planned to have as many junkie babies as possible, with as many men as
possible, and name them all Evan."
"She'd never do
that," I said, laughing.
"Snake boy doesn't
know that! In any case, she's OK not
having him anywhere near the wedding. He
can't poison the day if he's not around."
Today I'll laugh at snakes
– from a distance.
Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose
Freebie
This week's freebie is the Kindle version of My Plan to Ruin Your Life: The first recovery workbook written by your Addiction. It is available at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S.
Other Blogs
AArdvarks, a daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/6985510-quitting-time.
Upcoming Trainings
MISA Assessment
September 17, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona
9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m
$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training
This five hour training is accredited for:
- Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
- Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
- Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
- EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
- Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.
To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to: kmontrose@greenbriar.net
Smart Bears, Angry Rats
The cart and half the horse 150 Years later
The iWall's jangle
pulled her from the painting. The face
of Jeremiah, her ex-husband, appeared. After being booted from the Air Force at
the rank of major, a friend pulled strings and got him into the Army as a sergeant. Rather than being grateful, Jeremiah had seen
his reduction in rank as an insult. He
joked about 'playing Army' until the Air Force came to its senses.
When Sonya saw Jeremiah
her hopes soared for one brief moment.
Maybe this was the day he'd called to say he'd gotten clean and
sober. She dared to hope he'd accepted he was in the
Army, and was making the most of his situation.
Instead, she noticed
his scraggly beard and uncombed hair. He
was wearing an Army coat with someone else's name on it. She had served in the
Army for four years after college. She
knew he would never pass inspection in his condition.
Sonya knew better than
to start the same circular argument with him, but she couldn't help
herself. "Let me guess, you got
drunk and got booted from the Army!" she said. "When are you going to quit
drinking?"
"When the Air
Force takes me back!" he yelled.
"They won't take
you back while you're still drinking.
You're putting the cart before the horse."
"How am I supposed
to get sober while I'm on bear patrol with a bunch of kids playing
soldier? I'm a pilot, not a
babysitter. I'm the horse. I'm a damn thoroughbred. It's the Air Force putting the cart
first. Put me back in a plane and I'll
have a reason to stay sober." From
there the argument went around and around about who was the cart, what was the
horse, and who was putting what where.
Finally, Sonya yelled, "Those
'kids' saved your life twice. You're not
the cart, and you're just the back half of the horse!" She shut down the
iWall. "Why do I let him get to
me?" she asked herself for the umpteenth time.
Sonya sighed. She knew what Jeremiah would likely never
see. For change to happen, we have to
see ourselves as the horse. The horse
can move. Waiting for the cart to move,
or someone to move the cart, is a waste of time.
If I want something to change today, I will be the horse,
not just the tail end.
Smart Bears, Angry Rats © 2014 by Ken Montrose
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