Tuesday
September 9, 2014

Life on Life's Terms

Open Minded

My son had signed up for middle school track.  I had gone to a parent's meeting where they suggested the kids try everything at least once. That evening I asked him to do so.

"I will," he said.  "Except pole vault.  People get hurt pole vaulting."

"How about shot put?"

"I'm not really built for throwing heavy objects," he said.

"I threw discuss in Junior High.  Try that."

"I heard it takes a while to learn that spin discuss throwers use."

He went on to say he was fast, but not fast enough for sprints.  The jumping events involved sand in your shoes or landing in smelly pits. He didn't think he'd like that.

"So you'll do anything, as long as it's distance running?" I asked.

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like I'm not willing to try new things," he said rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry for implying that," I said.

Today I will be open to new experiences.

Life on Life's Terms (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose

Freebie

This week's freebie is the Kindle version of My Plan to Ruin Your Life: The first recovery workbook written by your Addiction.  It is available at  http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S.

Other Blogs

AArdvarks, daily messages blog about a group of young people in recovery, can be found at: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/6967501-restraint.

Upcoming  Trainings

When Even the Voices Are Hungover
September 10, 2014 at Kerr Presbyterian Church in Verona
9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m
$50 payable in advance, at the door, or by invoice after the training

This five hour training is accredited for:

• Addiction Counselors by the Pa. Certification Board
• Nurses by the PSNA #101-1-O-14
• Counselors by NAADAC #477 and NBCC #6352
• EAPs by the Employee Assistance Certification Commission
• Social Workers by the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work.

To register, please visit our website greenbriartraining.com or send an email to:kmontrose@greenbriar.net

Smart Bears, Angry Rats

Praise and Flattery

"What's the difference between praise and flattery?" my son asked.  He was sitting beside me, working on his English homework.

"I think of flattery as praise without complete sincerity," I said.  "Usually people who use flattery want something from the person they're flattering.   Sincerely praising someone while hoping they'll do something for you is OK.  That's probably the most common form of praise.  Your mother and I praise you kids sincerely because we hope you'll keep doing whatever you're doing.

I went on, "Praising someone with no expectations is better.  The person being praised has no reason to doubt your sincerity. Praising someone through your actions is the best.  It's a gift for the praiser and the praisee." 

"'Praiser' and 'Praisee'?  Not so sure I want you to help me with my English homework.  Can you give me an example?"

"If Ubutu told Olsen he was doing a good job because he wanted him to work on his honeymoon, that would be praise.  Olsen might consider it flattery.   Insisting Olsen take a break makes clear he's earned some time off.  Putting Flanagan in charge says Ubutu trusts Olsen's judgment and Flanagan's ability.  Ubutu's praises them both with his actions.  True praise is a gift we don't get to give often."

He scribbled something in his notebook.  "Can you give me an example in real life of praise and flattery?" 

"Telling your sister she was a good driver because I wanted her to run errands would be flattery," I said

"And delusional," he said interrupting me.

"Giving her a set of keys was praise for all she's accomplished."

Today I will try to praise someone.  I will be grateful if I can do so through my actions.

Smart Bears, Angry Rats (c) 2014 by Ken Montrose