37. Co-Dependency – Patience without wisdom
That afternoon Phil’s wife called to ask a few questions about treatment. A friend had told her she was codependent, and she wasn’t sure what that meant. I searched for a simple explanation.
“Co-dependency is patience without wisdom,” I said. “You wait for something to change without making major changes yourself. The irony is your patience delays what you’re waiting for. The more patient you are with Phil, the less reason he has to change.” She didn’t say anything, so I went on. “People around you can fuel your co-dependency. Naïve people admire your patience, call you a saint. That feels good when most of your life doesn’t. Others focus on your lack of wisdom, saying you’re foolish to put up with Phil. I’ll bet at some point you’ve felt the need to prove them wrong. And, we like to think love conquers all, including addiction. It’s a romantic notion that’s a big part of co-dependency.”
Today I will beware of codependency, of patience without wisdom.
Writing My New Story © 2015 by Ken Montrose
(Just a reminder: Writing My New Story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)