FAWLTY SHOWERS

Lookout

I hadn’t been in my office long when M.A. and Cuddles the cat wandered in. Cuddles eyed the top of the new filing cabinet.

M.A. made a chattering sound. Cuddles stretched. M.A. chattered some more.  Cuddles turned his attention from the cabinet to my desk. He jumped onto my desk, caught his breath, and then leapt onto the top.

M.A. held up a tiny paw. Was he giving Cuddles the thumbs up? “You’re losing your mind, Montrose,” I said to my laptop.

What was the lesson? You have to stretch if you want to reach your goal.  Don’t give up, take it one step at a time.  Celebrate your friends’ successes?

My mind went back to MA the ferret warning Cuddles to stretch first.

 

Today I’ll be grateful for friends looking out for me.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

SNIT

The next morning I forgot my coffee. Even though I was just ten minutes from my office I stopped to buy a cup.

A very pretty girl in line in front of me went off on her boyfriend. He’d forgotten a coupon that might have saved them a dollar.  I recognized him. He was a new client.

As she rattled on, my mind began to wander. Looking for a kinder word than the one that popped into my head at first, I landed on the word snit. So Not Into This.  Some New Insane Tirade.  Someone Needs Immediate Tasering.  

“Life is too short to spend time around snitwits,” I whispered to him as she ordered. “Especially in early recovery when your emotions are raw.  You can’t argue with snitwits, best to avoid them if you can.”

He shrugged, looked her up and down, and made a gesture that said, “She’s hot, I’m an idiot.”

Today I’ll avoid the snitwits.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Sucks to Be You

The next day I rode by bike around North Park. My ride ended at the bottom of a steep hill near the Boat House.

I was going too fast when I turned into the parking lot. My front tire hit a bump and I flew over the handlebars, landing on my back in the grass next to the path.

A man walked his bike past me, not asking if I was OK.  Maybe because I was in pain, I felt a little resentful.

I started wishing he’d have a little bad luck as well. A fungal infection spreading upward from the seat of his bike. An audit by the IRS. An infestation of murder hornets.

In a few minutes I calmed down. Looking after me was not his job. I was just glad I wasn’t him. I mentally started listing other people I was glad I was not.

Today I’ll make a list of people I’m glad I’m not.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 Fawlty Showers

What a Bargain

I met Dr. Deb, Brat Boy, his girlfriend CharChar, my daughter Blondie and her boyfriend TyGuy.

 “Do you ever miss it, Daddy?” Blondie asked as a tray of drinks went past.

“Sometimes,” I said, “If alcohol and other drugs had no initial upside, nobody would get addicted.”

I took a bite of my salad and added, “Here’s the bargain. You give up your chemical for something. Sometimes you don’t even know exactly what you’re getting in exchange, you just know it has to be better than your addiction.”

 “You made that bargain before you had Brat Boy,” Blondie said. “You must feel cheated.” Brat Boy flicked a crouton at her. Even as adults a look from Dr. Deb was enough to stop them in their tracks.

I smiled, “Sometimes you don’t get what you bargained for. You think you’re getting one thing, but you get something else instead. Life is unfair. Some people get a little less than maybe they deserve, some people a little more, but always something better than their addiction.”

I looked around the table at my wife, my children, and their loved ones who were a bonus I had never counted on. 

“I got so much more than I bargained for,” I said. “I’ve been incredibly lucky.”

 

Today I’ll be grateful when I get what I bargained for.

 

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Hope and Help

 I hit the gym on my way home from work.

“I’m hoping I don’t ruin Thanksgiving this year,” the guy in the locker next to me said to his friend.

His friend laughed. “Not again.”

“My in-laws drive me to drink.  Oh God, I hope I don’t get too drunk.”

“Hope you don’t either,” his buddy said. “Your wife cries to my wife and I gotta hear about it.”

I didn’t know this guy, but I wanted to say, ‘why don’t you give hope some help by not picking up the first drink?’

I didn’t. I’d been there, never giving hope any help. Hoping I’d pass without studying. Hoping to lose weight on the beer, pizza, and TV plan. Hoping to succeed without really trying. It was all false hope.

I’d learned hope without help only dulled the frustration and anxiety. False hope was a painkiller that let the problem grow.  

 

Today I’ll give hope some help.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Stepping in Should

As we walked back to our offices I said, “Good group, I liked the way you had them see the source of their frustration and the way they express it aren’t always connected.”

A smile crossed Abigail’s face. She nodded. “Thank you.”

We walked a step or two further and her posture stiffened. She said, “I should have spent more time talking about the consequences of not dealing with frustration.”

“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.  The group learned something.”

“Yes, but I should have gotten into the connection between being easily frustrated early in recovery and brain chemistry.”

“Well, it’s over. I suggest you quit shoulding on yourself,” I said. I had the feeling she’d be doing just that the rest of the afternoon.

Today I won’t should on myself.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Pain

Abigail asked if I would monitor her group, saying she needed to confront someone who might react badly. She added a list of detailed instructions for when and how I should intervene.

I wanted to tell her I’d been running groups when she was learning to correct other people’s grammar, but I let it go.

We walked over to a group room that had been carved out of the fire hall next door.  I sat in the tiny office, walled off from the rest of the room by temporary dividers.

I had expected Abigail’s group to be a grinding, depressing affair, almost as much fun as a root canal.  People who’ve suffered too much can’t always get past their own pain. 

Despite all the misery she’d endured, or maybe because of it, Abigail connected with her group in a way that told them she understood their struggle.  The conversation got heated, but never out of hand.

I left the group inspired. I made a list of others I had known who’d risen above their, putting their experiences to good use.

 

Today I’ll learn from people who’ve risen above their pain.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Reminder

My son Brat Boy called to remind me we were meeting for dinner.

My memory had worsened as I’d gotten older. I’d started setting multiple reminders, including asking people to call me about important events or deadlines, anything I didn’t want to forget.

When I was having a bad day, I’d shut my eyes and remember the accident that ended my drinking career.  I knew a guy who kept his wedding ring from his first marriage to remind himself never to take his second wife for granted.

A long time ago, I had met a guy who felt the desire to drink whenever he had money in his pockets.  He went around with a dime in his pocket, just in case he needed to make a phone call.  (It was a long, long, time ago.) “That dime reminds me of all the money I spent on booze,” he said.

“I remember payphones,” I said to Brat Boy.

“Dad,” Brat Boy said, laughing, “Do you remember our conversation about only saying out loud the thoughts in your head connected to the current conversation?”

 

Today I’ll set a reminder.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Amends

“So what happened to your son after he put bugs in his buddy’s chili?” I asked.

Dana broke out in a big smile. “I told him to go to his friend’s house to apologize. He trudged out the door like he was on his way to prison.  Guess what he did.”

I shrugged, “No idea.”

“He raked the leaves for his friend. I didn’t tell him to, he just did it.  Took him hours. Then he went in and apologized.”

“Wow, he really did make amends.”

“He did it right. No half-hearted apology. Made the effort before he said sorry.”

“I’m impressed. Lots of adults say they’re sorry, promise to make it up, but don’t put forth much effort.”

Dana said, “He’s a good kid at heart.”

“Well, he did try to poison his friend’s lunch…”

 

Today I will remember truly making amends takes effort.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Nothing Personal

“You never told me why Abigail is wound so tight,” I said.

“Sad story,” Dana said. “Mom died when Abigail was a baby. Rich father went off the rails. Sexually harassed a series of nannies. Had to leave the country.”

“That’s miserable,” I said.

Dana nodded. “He left Abigail in the care of his very angry, bi-polar sister. Abigail spent her whole childhood trying to please her aunt while staying out of her way. Straight A’s, president of every club.  She never knew when or why her aunt was going to explode.” 

“And because so much of her life was out of control, she now tries to control everything around her,” I guessed.

“You got it.”

“I’m never going to like her control freak nature, but now that I understand, I’m less likely to take it personally.”

Today I’ll try to understand why people are the way they are.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Donuts

“Wait,” Dana said, between bites of her sandwich, “you eat two donuts every morning. How can you say you avoid sweets?”

I said, “Donuts are not sweets. Candy is sweets. Pop is sweets. Cake is sweets.”

“Donuts are like little circle cakes made with sugar and covered in something sugary.”

“You’re confusing donuts with cupcakes.”

“You’re rationalizing. You’re like that guy who smokes weed all day every day and tells himself he’s a recreational user.”

She took another bite of sandwich, and added, “You’re like the woman who buys hundreds of scratch-off tickets and says she’s doing it because the proceeds benefit senior citizens.”

“And you couldn’t be more wrong,” I said, knowing she was right.

Today I won’t rationalize.

(Unless it’s about something really important, or I really want to do, or…)

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Self-Discipline

At lunchtime, Dana came into my office, carrying a fast-food bag.

“Do you mind?” she asked, pointing to the sole chair in the room.

“Well,” I said, rolling my eyes and pretending to be ambivalent. “Don’t you usually eat in the kitchen with Abigail?”

“She eats the same thing every day.  A hard-boiled egg, half a sandwich, and tea.  It’s painful to watch that much self-discipline.”

I nodded. “You do need some. I don’t drink. I try to avoid sweets. I work out three or four times a week.   I’ll never have washboard abs, but I think I’ve learned enough self-discipline.”

“You need enough to not ruin your life, but not so much that you can’t enjoy it.”

 

Today I’ll try to find the right amount of self-discipline.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 Fawlty Showers

When Worse Comes To Worst

Her name was Marti. She’d been court-ordered to treatment in lieu of time in a federal prison.  She had worked for a government agency that secured local computer networks.

Marti had been a little drunk when she hacked into her home town’s traffic system. She rigged all the green lights to allow just one vehicle to pass before turning red.   

“OK, that’s wrong, but it is kinda funny,” I said.

Marti said, “People were mad but it would have been much worse if somebody got hurt.”

After she left, I started a list of times things could have been worse. I had totaled four cars. I was drunk for three of the crashes, completely sober for the last one.  Nobody had been injured in any of the wrecks.

My friend had married a beautiful narcissist. She emptied their bank accounts and took off. He was crushed, but I thought his life would have been much worse if they’d had children.

I was feeling my age, but I was still mobile, conscious, and keenly aware of how differently my life might have turned out if not for the love of my friends and family in the darker moments.

Today I’ll be grateful for all the times things could have been worse.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

POS

I heard the commotion, stood up, and walked to my door. A woman in her early forties was waiving a sheet of paper in front of Katy demanding to know who was in charge.  She spotted me.

“You!” she said, pointing in my direction. “You’re old. You must be the boss.”

I said, “I’m…” she cut me off.

“P O S! I’m a piece of shit?” She waived the paper in front of me, pointing at the letters scrawled in Sharpie across a drug screen report.

I laughed, and said, “Wait, you’re…”

She cut me off again. “You think this is funny? You won’t when my lawyer tears you a new one.  I’ll own this place. I’ll take your house, your car, I’ll take your #$%@# dog!”

When she stopped to take a breath, I said, “POS is short for ‘positive.’ You’re positive for THC.  It’s stored in your fat cells and shows up on drug screens a month after you smoked weed.”

After she calmed down, she wiped away a tear and said, “Well, I was going to get drunk, but maybe I’ll stick around.”

Today I won’t react until I know the facts.

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Prodigal Son Family Syndrome

I’d worked with a prodigal son named Michael.  His family loved and wanted the best for him, but subconsciously had reasons to sabotage his recovery.

His mother told me Michael’s drug use had severely strained her marriage.  I got the feeling if he stayed clean, she’d discover he wasn’t the cause of all their issues.  She developed a habit of leaving prescription bottles next to the kitchen sink.

His younger brother knew Michael getting clean would shift the spotlight to his drug use. He borrowed Michael’s jacket to go outside and smoke weed, leaving the smell on the fabric.    

Michael’s businessman father didn’t believe in therapy.  He’d call to ask about his son, but end up talking about his own life.  He took Michael out for a beer to celebrate kicking heroin.

They weren’t bad people, they just didn’t recognize they had reasons not to be happy about Michael’s recovery.

I advised Michael to remember they loved him, but accept they may need some time to like him getting better.

Today I will accept not everyone is going to like me getting better.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Prodigal Son Syndrome 2

The Prodigal Son was greeted with open arms by his father, who celebrated his return.

The next day he went to work. His father beamed. The workers who’d known him since he was a little boy hugged him, glad he was home and safe.

The day after that he went to work.

The day after that he went to work.

The day after that he went to work. No celebration, no hugs, just Life on Life’s Terms.

Fortunately for the Prodigal Son, he didn’t give into the second part of the Prodigal Son Syndrome.  He didn’t expect to be celebrated every day because he’d returned. Instead, he learned to celebrate everyday life.

Today I will celebrate everyday life rather than expecting to be celebrated every day.

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

PSS’d Off

Dr. Deb sent me a text. ‘Thank you for 30 wonderful years.’ In 2025 we’d been married for 34. I had to scroll to find the laughing emoji and ‘just kidding’ with a heart.

I started over writing Life on Life’s Terms, thinking about what happens when someone makes a major change.  “Prodigal Son Syndrome,” I said to my laptop.

The Prodigal Son had hit rock bottom far from home. He trudged through dry dusty lands to get back to his former life. On TV, people were scooped up in a limo, flown to a posh rehab, greeted by a former model, and given a massage before meeting with their ‘recovery concierge.’ 

Most people’s experience was more like the Prodigal Son’s. They may not have had to travel far on foot, but they did have to go a long way to improve their lives. 

Too many became angry there was no limo, no model, just a lot of difficult changes to make. They had Prodigal Son Syndrome, and unlike the Prodigal Son were PSS’d about having to put forth so much effort.

The smart ones kept their eye on the prize – a better life.  They put one foot in front of the other, accepting overnight changes tend not to be lasting ones.  Their long journeys built up their stamina for the next one.

Today I will avoid PSS by accepting meaningful change is often a long journey.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Acceptance

Fighting the things I had to accept had never turned out well. I made a list of things I was better off accepting and then moving on.

Life was unfair.  I could try to live an honest life, and not contribute to the unfairness.

Once I picked up the first drink, I had no control. I wondered how many people wished they had a problem where the treatment was not doing something completely unnecessary.  

Neither college I had attended fielded winning football teams. I waited for basketball season to follow their games.

The more people you loved the more funerals you attended. I reminded myself grief was the tax on love, and it was well worth it.

Cuffed, plaid, bell bottoms weren’t coming back. I decided not to give up hope.

Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed. I needed to make the most of the day.

Today I will accept what I must.

 

Fawlty Showers © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

·         www.greenbriartraining.com 

·         https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

·         https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/