Fawlty Showers

Inside Out

“Do you have a topic for today’s group?” I asked Dana.

“The slogan, ‘don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides,’” she said.

“Don’t compare how you feel with how they look,” I said. “Always thought that was good advice.”

“You only make yourself miserable, and you never know what problems they have.”

Today I won’t compare my insides to other people’s outsides.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Drama

After the meeting Dana stopped in my office to see if I could run group with her that day.

Her phone buzzed several times. Each time she looked at the number, but did nothing.

“Everything OK?” I asked.

Dana said, “My daughter, the princess, is having a meltdown over shoes for the prom.  Her boyfriend and his mother are caught up in the drama.  They want me to leave work to take her shopping.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Turn off my phone,” Dana said. “The three of them love the drama, even though they pretend to be upset over whatever the crisis of the day might be.”

“Nothing but more drama seems to come from drama,” I said.  “Can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen either become addicted to it, or relapse over it.”

Today I’ll ignore the drama.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Help!

Randy said, “Ken, you can be in charge of the media campaign.  Do you need any help?”

Without thinking, I said, “No, I’m good.”

I’d always had the hardest time accepting help.  I’d refused to accept help marketing my books. Over the years I’d averaged about one sale a month. 

My sophomore roommate in college was a math major.  I declined his offer to help me with Calculus. I was pretty sure I passed with a ‘D’ out of sympathy and the professor’s strong desire not to have me sitting in his classroom again.

My neighbors had asked if I’d needed help moving patio furniture. I’d said no, and spent the next week icing my back.   

When I’d gotten humble enough to accept help, things almost turned out well. I hadn’t had a drink since I accepted help and advice from AA old-timers.

“On second thought, Katy can you help?” I asked.

 

Today I will accept a little help.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Building Blocks

Our weekly staff meeting felt more like a funeral. Our finances were shaky, the county was trying to evict M.A. and Cuddles, and our beds were half empty.

“You people suck at taking inventory,” I said after a heavy silence fell over the group. “You gotta see the building blocks in the rubble.”

Randy stared at me.

I continued, “We have a good staff, word will get out and people will come here.  The buildings are shaping up.”

Katy said, “I’ve been thinking. We can fight in the media to keep MA and Cuddles. Maybe we can build on that publicity to fill beds.”   

The mood lightened a little and I added, “Bonus - Dana will move on when her internship is done.  We just need to count the days.” Dana punched me and laughed.

Today I’ll look for the building blocks in the rubble.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Name It and Tame It

I was feeling a little down the next Monday.  I turned the page on my weekly calendar and saw the day my dad had passed away circled.

 “Name it and tame it,” I said to my laptop. “Find the source of your sadness, don’t let it be a nameless cloud hanging over you.  Do what you can to get past it.  Accept what you have to.”  

I listed my favorite memories of my father. Later I’d get out my fishing rods, and maybe visit one of his favorite spots. 

Today I will name it and tame it.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Give It Up

Later that day Dr. Deb asked me if I was giving up anything for Lent.

“Sweets,” I said. “All sweets.”

“Bold move for someone who thinks black licorice, chocolate donuts, and coffee make a great breakfast,” she said.

“I was thinking of giving up candy or donuts, maybe just cookies, but I decided to push myself a little.”

“Gonna be tough. Haven’t you been trying to cut out sweets for a long time?”

“I have, but I think if I do without something completely I’ll appreciate everything else more.”

 

Today I’ll do without something so I appreciate everything else more.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Similarities

I saw the number pop up on my phone and cringed. Every year my friend and his wife gave up alcohol for Lent. She did it for religious reasons.  He tried to prove he had no problem with alcohol.

‘No booze during Lent,’ he wrote. ‘Goes to show we’re both just social drinkers.’

 I texted, ‘She enjoys a glass of wine with pasta.  You get drunk and eat Spaghettios from the can at 3:00 a.m.’

‘Exaggeration,’ he texted.

‘When she wants a glass during Lent, she says a little prayer and orders a coke.  You drive everyone up the wall fidgeting and bragging about how you don’t need alcohol.’

No reply.

I continued, “On Easter Sunday your wife will drink a glass with her meal.  You will pass out and call it a ‘nap’ and/or vomit ham into the hedges.’

He texted, “Bye.”

“Similarities fuel denial,” I said to my laptop. “He thinks he’s a social drinker because they both gave up booze for Lent. He’s like the abusive dad who thinks he’s just like his neighbor who believes in a little discipline, or the glutton who calls himself a gourmet.”

Today I beware of the similarities.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Paleontology

The next day I had lunch with my friend Maresa to celebrate her nineteenth sobriety anniversary.  In that time she’d helped countless people get sober, inspired many others.

We’d met for lunch every year since her thirteenth.  On her fifteenth anniversary in 2021 The Other Ken from Greenbriar had congratulated her on becoming a ‘dinosaur.’

“A dinosaur is someone with fifteen years or more of sobriety,” The Other Ken had said when I asked.

“I’ve been sober over thirty years,” I said. “What would that make me?” The Other Ken just laughed.

“A fossil,” I said, answering my own question.

I thought of my years with Dr. Deb, friends I’d known forever, how in my 60s I still went to the gym, and that I’d written something every day for decades.   Relationships and habits set in stone had made me a happy fossil.  

Today I’ll be a happy fossil.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

FAWLTY SHOWERS

Time Out

Dr. Deb and I started to make dinner, but I could see neither of us was enthusiastic about it.

We need a timeout, I thought.

Sometimes timeouts are taken to discuss strategy.  Other times, they’re called to make a point, say to ask someone why he committed another dumb foul after he’d been told specifically not to. (Oh, the memories…)

Some timeouts are called just to give players a short break, long enough to catch their breath. There’s no major changes needed, people are doing their jobs, nobody is leaving the game.  They’re a short pause to refresh and restart.

“Let’s order pizza,” I said. “Give ourselves a break.”

Today I will take a timeout.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 FAWLTY SHOWERS

Let Go To Hold On

When I got home, Dr. Deb greeted me at the top of the stairs with a long hug. A tear rolled down her cheek.

“Do you remember my friend Sue?” Dr. Deb asked. “Her husband died. He was drinking again.”

I’d met Sue’s husband a few times. He clearly loved Sue and their children. He also loved the bottle and didn’t see why he couldn’t have both.

I had told him addicted folks have to let go to hold on. The stronger our grip on the bottle, or anything else we’re addicted to, the weaker our embrace of the people we love.

“To some extent, that’s true for people who aren’t addicted,” I’d said.

He’d told me he wasn’t addicted to booze, and that I should write greeting cards.

 

Today I’ll let go to hold on.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Progress

I stopped by Randy’s office on my way out that day.  He barely looked up when I said hello. “How’s it going?” I asked.

“I didn’t get much done,” he said, pointing to a stack of papers.  “Felt like I was wading through mud all day.”

I said, “There’s a guy at the gym who wears Army boots and a heavy backpack on the treadmill. He doesn’t go very fast, but he stays on the machine a couple of hours at a time. I go much farther on my bike, but he’s probably in better shape.”

“What’s your point?”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind. Consider the burden you carry before you judge the progress you’ve made.”

 

Today I will consider the burden I carry when I judge the distance I’ve traveled.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Good Use

Marti poked her head into my office. “I’m not going to jail,” she said. “As part of my plea agreement I’ll teach computer skills to underprivileged kids instead.”

“Nice,” I said. “That’s a much better use of your talents than sabotaging the local the traffic lights.”

“No more hacking. Still, I will miss some of the pranks I pulled.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“My sorry-ass husband listed his symptoms on WebMD. I was looking over his shoulder. I went into our bedroom, got on my laptop, and hacked into his computer.  I made ads for funeral homes and burial plots pop up on his computer. Scared the hell out of him.”

I laughed, but said, “The world would be a better place if we all put our talents to good use.”

 

Today I will put my talents to good use.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 Fawlty Showers

Persistence

I researched regulations regarding animals in treatment centers.  I couldn’t find any.  I got the email address for our county evaluator from Randy.

The rule was buried in the Department of Health regulations, and was usually applied to hospitals, not treatment centers.  I argued that many rehabs had pets, some even posting pictures of them on their websites. The Evaluator wouldn’t budge.

‘Rules are rules,’ she emailed me. ‘Have a nice day.’

I was ready to give up. The Evaluator didn’t seem likely to budge.

When I was in school and still drinking, I’d become the master of talking teachers and professors into accepting late papers, or letting me take make-up exams. The trick, I’d learned, was to be persistent, to keep begging until they relented.

“A crappy example of persistence,” I said to my laptop, “but if you want something badly enough, you gotta stick with it.”  

I started a better list of times I’d been rewarded for not giving up.

 

Today I won’t give up easily.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Step Back, Step Up

Cuddles and MA sauntered into my office. There was no way Fawlty Towers could lose them, and no way I knew to keep them.

“You can’t dodge your problems,” I said to the Cuddles the cat, “but sometimes it helps to step back before you step up and handle the issue.” Cuddles licked his paw and wiped an ear in agreement.

I texted Brat Boy: ‘Ask for a raise – you’re my retirement plan.’   I emailed CharChar congratulating her on opening a new boutique. ‘Your mother is so proud! Don’t let that stop you from driving her out of business….”

I texted TyGuy to see if he’d signed his key recruit.  He worried other coaches were offering shady incentives to land the kid. ‘Bribery is wrong,’ I texted. ‘You shouldn’t do it. Blackmail on the other hand involves something the kid did, so go ahead and try that.’

I’d had my fun.  Joking with the kids had cleared some of the sadness from my mind. It was time to step up and deal with the problem at hand.

Today I will step back before I step up.

 

 Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

On Purpose

The pandemic of ’20-’21 changed things. Teachers’ salaries went up, way up. Federal funding for daycare tripled. Companies discovered they didn’t need nearly as much office space.  Buildings sat empty.

Blondie had gotten her Ph.D. in Economics in 2024.  She worked on a team looking to repurpose those buildings before they fell into disrepair. It was an uphill battle.

‘How’s it going?’ I texted her after the meeting.

‘I try not to think of ‘it,’ she texted back. ‘It is an overwhelming thing and reminds me of the Stephen King novel.  I have an on purpose.  An on purpose is something I deliberately stick to just for that day, no matter what. My on purpose today is not strangling the city planners and local politicians when we meet later.’

‘An on purpose. I like it.’

Smiling emoji. ‘Love you Daddy. Set aside some money for my bail, just in case the meeting goes badly.’

 

Today I will stick to my on purpose.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

War

Katy held out her left hand, pointing to two thin, white scars running parallel from the base of her thumb to the first knuckle in her index finger. “A souvenir from the time Abigail and I took Cuddles to the vet.”

I smiled, “You’re lucky you survived.”

“I knew he’d put up a fight.”

Katy and Abigail described cornering Cuddles and stuff him into a cat carrier.  Their tale reminded me of a Revolutionary War documentary - moves and counter moves, casualties and courage, and above all, an unwillingness to give up.

“Once you pick your battles,” Abigail said, “you fight them to the end.”  She was talking about Cuddles, but also her battle with her aunt.

In my mind, I combined her words with a favorite slogan, one day at a time. You fight to stay clean, one day at a time.

Today I will pick my battles, and fight them to the end, one day at a time.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Drug Sniffing Ferrets/Guide Cats

Randy called for a staff meeting. We shuffled into a conference room.   Our census was down, we weren’t treating enough people to pay the bills. We were running out of start-up money.

“And just to suck some more joy from the situation, the county says we can’t have companion animals onsite,” Randy said.  Service animals only.”

“They’re not pets,” I said. “Moondoggy Alpha finds contraband.  My eyes are getting old and I rely on Cuddles to lead me sometimes.  At least that’s what we’ll claim.”

“You want me to sell the county on a drug-sniffing ferret and a guide cat?” Randy thought for a moment. “Who knows, maybe the county inspector will have a sense of humor.”

“We’ll get through this,” I said. “Best we all have a sense of humor while we do.”

Today I will hold onto my sense of humor.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers

Now What?

When I got to work, Katy was wiping her eyes. 

“Not what we needed,” Katy said. “Not at all.”

“What?” I asked. The county had told Randy we had to get rid of MA and Cuddles.

Problems were supposed to come at you one at a time, I thought. You solve one and take on the next.

“We’ll figure this out,” I said, sounding unconvinced to my own ears. We would, but it wouldn’t be easy.

 

Today I will accept Life sucks at scheduling problems.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

I Can Do This

More snow fell the next day. I cleared the driveway, my fingers going numb despite my thick gloves.  I wondered how much it would cost to have the tip of my nose reattached after it froze and fell off.

I was relieved to see the polar bear bearing down on me was actually a neighbor in a white parka. 

“Don’t you love the winter?” He asked, a bright smile lighting up his face.  

“Reminds me of that movie ‘Fargo,” I said.  He hadn’t seen the film, and blathered on about the beauty of new fallen snow. 

I made a mental note to price used wood chippers.

I thought of a widow I’d known who couldn’t shovel snow and couldn’t afford to pay someone.  Friends from AA shoveled for her, but I got the impression she felt bad about it.

There were things I needed to do that I didn’t like doing.  The trick, I thought, was to try to be grateful I could do them.

Today I’ll try to be grateful I can do what I need to do.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Better Late Than Never

A heavy snow had fallen that day.  Fawlty Towers started ninety minutes later than usual.

I began to write my blog, and wondered if I should just skip it.  The day was half over.  MA read my mind and shot me a disapproving look.

“I know,” I said to the ferret, “better late than never.”  I started a list of ‘better late than nevers.’

People who got sober later in life were often completely determined to squeeze the most from every day they had left.

People who finally told someone they loved them, seemed to say so with conviction.

People who got around to taking that trip never seemed to regret it.

“You know, I can’t think of anyone who wasn’t happy they’d done something late rather than never.” MA nodded in agreement.

 

Today I’ll remember ‘better late than never’.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/