24. I want to believe it
“What’s your drug of choice?” I asked Tigger. He told me he loved cocaine. We talked a long time about his history with the drug. Finally he asked me why I thought he kept using a drug he knew was tearing up his life.
“The obvious reason is you remember how much you liked coke the first time you tried it. The not so obvious reason is you’re clinging to the idea you’re only manic because of the coke. It gives you the illusion of being in control. Part of you says ‘I can stop being manic by stopping the coke,’ but part of you knows that’s not really true.”
Tigger said, “If I half know it’s b.s., why do I sorta believe coke is my only real problem?”
“Because nothing is more believable than something you want to believe.”
Today I will beware of believing what I want to believe.
Writing My New Story © 2015 by Ken Montrose
Other publications available at: http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Montrose/e/B001K8MG0S
(Just a reminder: Writing My New Story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)