24. I want to believe it
“What’s your drug of choice?” I asked Tigger. He told me he loved cocaine. We talked a long time about his history with
the drug. Finally he asked me why I
thought he kept using a drug he knew was tearing up his life.
“The obvious reason is you remember how much you liked
coke the first time you tried it. The
not so obvious reason is you’re clinging to the idea you’re only manic because
of the coke. It gives you the illusion
of being in control. Part of you says ‘I
can stop being manic by stopping the coke,’ but part of you knows that’s not
really true.”
Tigger said, “If I half know it’s b.s., why do I sorta
believe coke is my only real problem?”
“Because nothing is more believable than something you
want to believe.”
Today I will beware of believing what I want to believe.
Writing My New Story © 2015 by Ken Montrose
(Just a
reminder: Writing My New Story is a
work of fiction. Any resemblance to
anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)
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