Fawlty Showers

Drifting Away

“Anyway, five minutes ago you were yelling at a chair and saying this was the best #$%@ donut ever,” I pointed out.

Dana started to say something, but the intercom clicked on.

“Do you two think you could get through one morning without swearing?” Katy said.

“I’ll #$%@$ try,” I said, and waited for Katy to laugh. Silence.  “Sorry.”

I turned to Dana, “Do we swear a lot?” I asked.

“I think we’ve kind of drifted into it,” she said. “I blame you.”

We talked about all the bad habits people drift into a little at a time.

After she left, I thought drift was more dangerous than rationalization, because rationalization took effort, drift did not.

 

Today I’ll beware of drift.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

 Fawlty Showers

Donuts

“You really do practice sober hedonism,” Dana said. “Every day you eat a donut like it’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”

I said, “The souls of donuts we’ve eaten form a chain that links us to our Higher Powers.  They’re a circle that reminds us of infinite possibilities in a never ending universe.  The hole represents all we don’t know, all we are missing, that shall be revealed and fulfilled in our final hours.”

“They’re just donuts, Ken,” Dana said, snorting and laughing.

“No such thing as just donuts,” I said. “That’s why we revere Lord Dunkin’, champion of mass produced pastries.”

Today I will practice sober hedonism, squeezing the joy out of little things.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Virtue and Vice

Dana’s phone buzzed. She rolled her eyes and typed in a message.

“Being involved in your kids’ lives is a virtue,” Dana said, “but my daughter’s boyfriend’s mom texts me almost every day about their relationship. She’s managed to make parenting a vice.”

“There’s a Japanese word ‘karoshi’ that means death by work,” I said. “Hard work becomes a killer vice.”

“That’s the only Japanese word you know,” Dana said laughing. “Don’t pretend you’re an expert on Japanese culture.”

I ignored her. “A guy I know has twenty years clean. Instead of just setting a good example, he goes around telling everyone their problems and what they should quit doing.  He’s made sobriety if not a vice, at least annoying.”

Today I’ll be careful not to make a virtue into a vice.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Trouble

Dana showed up at my office with a box of donuts. “I told Abigail not to settle with her aunt,” she said.  “If Abigail doesn’t get that money, Fawlty Towers could go under. I wouldn’t finish my internship.”

“I’d be unemployed and 65,” I said. “Might be hard to find a job.”

Dana cursed, cursed some more, and cursed again.  Then she turned to the empty chair in the corner and said, “This is the best $#*^&* donut ever!”

I stared at her.

She said, “I’m making sure my troubles know they can’t trouble me, at least not while I’m eating this donut. Later I’ll find something else to take my mind off my problems.”

“You scare me,” I said, thinking I liked the idea of letting my troubles know they couldn’t trouble me.

 

Today I won’t let my troubles trouble me so much.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

 Short Term/LongTerm

The next Monday I walked past Abigail’s office, and then turned around and went back.

“Settling with your aunt would be like giving in to cravings,” I said, thinking I was an idiot.  Abigail settling would make my employer much more financially stable.

“I don’t see any similarities,” Abigail said.

“You trade short-term relief for a long-term problem.”

Abigail thought about it. “If I settle, I’ll be done with her, but I’ll spend a long time regretting it,” she said. “Of all the resentments I have against my aunt, it will disturb me the most.”

 

Today I won’t trade short term relief for long term problems.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

If Somebody Loves You

Dr. Deb said, “When you love someone you know loves you, you take care of yourself.” She hugged me, and I knew I would live a healthier life from that point on.

Today I will live a healthier life.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Step 10

“Speaking of diets,” Dr. Deb said, “half the pie is gone. You know, the one I bought yesterday.”  She shot me a disapproving look.

“Odd,” I said, avoiding any further eye contact. “But, the kids still have house keys.  I’m pretty sure TyGuy and CharChar know the garage door code. One of them must have sneaked in during the day and eaten it.”

I turned back to see if she was buying it. Her concerned expression told me she wasn’t.  

 “Isn’t there something in the Twelve Steps about admitting when you’re wrong?”

“There used to be,” I said, “but they took it out.  There are only eleven steps now.”  

She didn’t buy that story either.

I finally admitted I ate half a pie, and given my family history of heart disease and diabetes, it was the wrong thing to do.

 

Today I’ll promptly admit it when I’m wrong.

 

 Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Dr. Deb said, “When you love someone you know loves you, you take care of yourself.”

 

Fawlty Showers

I Really Wog

When I got home from the gym that evening, Dr. Deb asked how the game went.

“I’m the one who got crushed like a bug,” I said. “On the other hand, I lost 11-5, 11-6, and 11-2, so really, I won.”

“How do you figure that?” she asked.

“Brat Boy had to score 11 each time to win. That’s all he did and nothing more.  I didn’t have to score at all to lose, but I ran up a total of 13 points. I did more, therefore I won.”

“That makes no sense, but it’s a truly impressive rationalization.”

“Everyone has the ability to rationalize, that’s why diets are so hard to stick to. But we addicted folks, we raise rationalization to an art form.”

 

Today I’ll beware my ability to rationalize.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Sooner, Longer

Brat Boy sent me a gif of 90 year-olds running in the Senior Olympics.  His note said he’d found guys I could compete with since I no longer had any chance of beating him at basketball.

In 2025 I was 65, Brat Boy was 25.  I’d gotten to enjoy all 25 of his years sober.  Many of my recovering friends had missed big chunks of their children’s lives. I was grateful I’d quit sooner rather than later.

I sometimes encountered a guy named “T” at the gym. He’d quit smoking and lost 75 lbs. in his late forties. He spent his weekends skiing, hiking, or biking. He wished he’d gotten healthy earlier.

T liked to say the sooner you make the change, the longer you get to enjoy it.  Words to live by, I always thought.

‘Meet me at the gym after work,’ I texted Brat Boy. ‘Bring two towels and a ball.’

He texted, ‘Mom won’t let you take a towel?’ Laughing emoji.

‘One’s for you to cry into after I crush you like a bug.’ Laughing emoji, heart emoji.

 

Today I’ll remember the sooner I make the change, the longer I get to enjoy it.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
• https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Regrets

When it was time for him to leave, Randy didn’t.

“Something on your mind, Boss?” I asked.

His twin hadn’t just died in his sleep from an undiagnosed heart condition. Randy and his brother had started doing coke a couple weeks before.

I pointed out the obvious. Randy hadn’t forced his twin to do coke. Nobody had know about the heart condition. They had been young men, and young men are prone to bad decisions.  He’d punished himself for twenty years, long enough.

Nobody had died, but I had more than a few regrets playing cards with the skeletons in my closet. 

“Time to let one go,” I said to the ferret.

 

Today I’ll get rid of something in my ‘regrets’ closet.

 

 Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Listen at the Door

Randy asked me what I was writing about.

“When one door closes, another opens’.  I like that expression, but I think we need to be cautious.”

The ferret nodded in agreement, but Randy asked why.

“So you get out of a relationship. A door has closed, but more have opened.  Too many of us rush through the next door, not listening to what’s happening behind it first.”

Randy said, “Six weeks after my divorce I almost married a girl I later found out was wanted for fraud, tax evasion, and drug dealing.  I get it, but how does that relate to addiction?”

“You need to open new doors when you get clean, otherwise you spend your time resenting not getting high or drunk. But, it pays to know what you’re getting into. Is it a church or a cult behind the door? Is it a golden opportunity, or a get rich quick scam?”

“When her profile says she loves animals does it mean she has flying monkeys hiding in her garage?”

 

Today I will listen at the door.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Could be Worse

Randy handed me my paycheck. “Can I cash this right away?” I asked.

“I’m sorry you have to ask me that,” Randy said. “Go ahead and cash it. We’re good for a couple of months.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

“I feel terrible you had to wait last time to cash your check,” Randy said.

I shrugged. “Sometimes rewards don’t come immediately, or even when we expect them.  Sometimes they don’t come at all. I just try to do the next right thing and hope for the best.”

Today I’ll do the next right thing and hope for the best.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Time

Randy, my boss, stopped by my office to update me on Fawlty Shower’s finances and the lawsuit from Abigail’s aunt.

“What’s that ticking sound?” he asked.

I silenced my computer. “It’s a recording of an old fashioned clock."

“What?” Randy asked, exchanging a puzzled look with Cuddles.

“It reminds me time is passing, but at a measured pace. It tells me not to be frantic or lazy, and to be glad I’ve had that moment to work, play, or heal.”

“Gratefully pace yourself.  I like it.”

 

Today I’ll gratefully pace myself.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Fawlty Showers

Selfish

M.A. had snuck into my desk drawer again. When I opened it, he stared at me with that mouth squinty, corner turned up on one side, skeptical look.  He was telling me not to sprain my arm patting myself on the back.

“OK,” I said. “Some of my desire to help is selfish, but doing something unselfish for selfish reasons is better than doing nothing.”

M.A. made a chattering sound I took for agreement.  Cuddles, who’d been sleeping on a chair, stretched and yawned. Cats tend to be cynics.

I continued. “If somebody stops drinking and driving, they then pay taxes, make the roads safer, and maybe set a good example for other people.  If that same person continues drinking, they put my life, the lives of my family, the lives of my friends, and everyone else in danger.   If they go to prison, I contribute to their upkeep for years.  Maybe I do this for selfish reasons, but it feels like the right thing to do. “

Today I’ll selfishly help someone else.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Need Help?

Something Dana said to me rattled around in my brain. She had worked in her husband’s business, keeping the books, managing staff, and drumming up business.  Apparently she was good at it.

Her husband admired her for giving that up to help ‘sad people’, but had told her he couldn’t imagine doing so. 

I thought I knew why she had. Helping someone change his life was one of life’s greatest rewards. I liked to think I’d helped a few people over the years.  

Today I’ll be that someone who helps.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

The Extra Mile

I asked Dana if she’d heard any more about the court case and the rehab’s finances.

“Did you know my husband’s crew is doing the renovation?” Dana asked me.

“I didn’t,” I said. “They do really good work.”

“Thanks. He told Randy to hold onto the bill until Fawlty Showers was making a profit.  It’ll give Randy a little breathing room.”

“Wow. That was really going out of his way to help.  Thank him for me.”

“He’s a very kind, charitable man,” Dana said with a happy sigh.

“Well, he married you, he’d almost have to be,” I said.  She laughed and we traded insults until it was time for her to run group. I made a mental list of the people who’d gone the extra mile to help me over the years.

Today I’ll be grateful for people who go the extra mile to help.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Something New

The next morning Dana the intern showed up with a strange box.

“What’s this?” I asked, pointing.

“Scones from the new bakery,” she said. “Try one.”

I did. Two bites in, I thought they’d make excellent door stops.

“I know, they’re a little on the dry side,” Dana said, as I gulped coffee trying to wash down the scone.   “Tomorrow I’ll go back to the old donut place.”

“Or, you could see what else they have. If you want to find something you like, you gotta try something you might not,” I said.  I was talking about pastries, but thinking about how people missed out on life by never trying anything new. I thought I fell into that trap myself sometimes.  

Today I will try something new.

 

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 Fawlty Showers

Ba, Bi, Be, Bo, Bu, …

That evening I was feeling restless. “I’m going to the gym,” I said to Dr. Deb.

I got on the treadmill. I had every reason to be grateful, but I just wasn’t feeling it, given the financial troubles at work.

“When you’re not feeling grateful is the best time to do a gratitude list,” my first sponsor had told me.

I started with a list of vowel consonant combinations as I cranked up the speed to a slow crawl.

Ba – bacon, what else could ‘ba’ be?

Be – Beverly, sure my sister had dumped eggs on my head when we were kids, but that was fifty years ago. I was willing to let it go, soon.

Bi- Bike, I loved my bike, despite the seat’s efforts to render me a soprano.

Bo-Books, loved to read them, hoped someday to sell some of my own.

When I got to ‘zu’, I said to the treadmill, “Zoo.” The machine chirped and I added, “Spelling doesn’t count.”

Today I’ll write a really, really, long gratitude list.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Helpful or Habit

When I pulled into my driveway that night the Leaf Crew was pulling away. I waved, and smiled.

Caught up in the Suburban Reforestation movement of 2022, I’d planted trees over most of my backyard. No more cutting, no more clippings, no more toxic chemicals to kill the weeds, just a crew that came by a couple of times in the fall to haul away the leaves. 

Why had I spent so many hours cutting grass? It had taken me too long to ask myself that question.

Why had spent so many years drinking when clearly I wasn’t any good at it? It had also taken me too long to ask myself that.  I decided to take a long look at I did to see if they were helpful or just habit.

Today I’ll look at why I do the things I do.

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

 

Fawlty Showers

Good News
I picked up my phone to check the news. Scrolling through the headlines, I saw: ‘DOJ Investigation’, ‘Death Toll Mounts’, and ‘Markets Down’.

I’d always thought staying informed was important, but I wondered if I needed to find a little balance to the information I got. Maybe I needed to look for some good news.

I called my daughter Blondie. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Is Mom OK?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said. “Just wanted to see how your day was going.”

“Daddy!” she said in a tone I had used when she was a child doing something she wasn’t supposed to. “Civilized people text. Calls are for emergencies.”

She told me about her new job, and how TyGuy was doing. We talked about their house hunting, and the fun they’d had at a friend’s wedding.

I told her she’d brightened my day, but I had better get back to work.

Blondie laughed, and said, “You should call Brat Boy. Early in the morning.  Get his heart started.”

 

Today I’ll look for some good news.

 

Fawlty Showers is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/