Relapse Rehearsal

I met Benjamin’s girlfriend the next morning at family day.  A petite redhead with a warm smile, she told me she was a musician. She also told me “I  mentally practice playing a difficult piece all the way through before I pick up my instrument. It smooths the way for me to perform it in real time.  Benjamin mentally practices all his vices and congratulates himself on his self-control.  He goes to the bar to drink Pepsi.  What’s he really doing?  He’s mentally practicing getting drunk.  When he goes to the strip clubs, he’s proud that he just looks. He’s mentally cheating on me.  Do you know he buys $50 worth of scratch-off tickets at a time?  He says he’s not really gambling.  He is, and he’s looking for the feeling he gets at the casino, without actually going there.”

I told her how he said he’d raise the child even if he wasn’t the father.  She snorted. “I never cheated on him, not once.  He’s the father. He wants people to think I cheated so he  won't look like such a bad guy if he leaves.  He’s mentally preparing his exit strategy.”

Today I won’t practice my vices, mentally or otherwise.

Life on Life’s Terms II © 2015 by Ken Montrose

(Just a reminder: LOLT II is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)