65. Sometimes slowly
After group started, I closed my door and began working on renewing one of our training provider accreditations. The accrediting organization had changed their forms and I had to change mine. In no time I was confused and frustrated. What I thought would take me a couple of hours took all day.
Although I tried to write a gratitude list, I just wasn’t feeling it. I fantasized about dropping my laptop from the roof, moving to Canada, and hunting moose for a living. I remembered I didn’t hunt, and Canada gets really, really, cold. I tried to be grateful the paperwork was finally done.
At AA meetings the “Big Book” passage describing how the rewards of recovery materialize, “sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” is often quoted. I accepted that, but struggled to accept the uneven pace of other things, including when people were slow to forgive, when my mind seemed to crawl along, or when an injury didn’t heal quickly, to name a few. It dawned on me I had no choice but to accept some things happen over time, some things happen when they happen, and some things never happen.
Today I will accept ‘sometimes slowly.’
Sober Not Somber © 2015, 2016 by Ken Montrose
(Just a reminder: Sober Not Somber is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone you might know is purely coincidental.)