Friday, March 29, 2019

On Flush and Flow
The speaker that night had been a politician.  He had been impressive on TV. Now he seemed happy but weary.  

He said, “I used to stay up all night thinking about my vote on a bill. What was best for the folks back home? For my party? For the whole country? For the future?”

 “Long story short,” he continued, “I started drinking in my office at night just to relax.  Two years later I was sitting on the edge of a fountain, drinking my dinner of whiskey and Coke from a Burger King cup.  I fell backward into the fountain. I threw up my fries. Somebody snapped a picture.  I tried to take their phone. The DC cops were called.

“I served out my term and didn’t run for re-election.  Looking back, it would have been so much easier to go with the flow -- check the polls or ask donors how to vote.” 

A pained look crossed his face. “It’s always easier to go with the flow.  Unfortunately, the flow starts when you flush something good down the drain, like your integrity or happiness.”

I thought about people who had to go against the flow to be happy. Some had to not drink in a drinking culture.  A woman I knew had to get a divorce both families opposed. Another married a man of a different religion. Her family cut ties to her.  Without whistleblowers, so much unethical behavior would flow unchecked.

Today I may have to not go with the flow.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Loving My Resentments
Sam walked up with Bubbles on a leash.  The little dog’s tailed wagged furiously as I bent down to scratch her ears.

“Nice of you to bring your sister,” Roger said pointing to Bubbles.  “She’s a little shorter than I remember.” He had dated Sam’s sister years before. It hadn’t worked out. Not at all.

“Funny,” Sam said, shaking his head.  Billie punched Roger.

“Sorry, they all look the same to me, all those bitc…” Roger started to say, but I cut him off.

“It’s been what, fifteen years?” I asked.  “Don’t you think it’s time to let go of that resentment?”
Roger shrugged.

I’d always thought people underestimated the attraction of resentment.   Resentments kickstart an adrenaline rush. They give people a sense of righteous anger, and a feeling of being owed something, maybe an apology, maybe much more.  

But just like many drugs, resentments cost more than they delivered. They kept people stuck in the past, less likely to enjoy today, and move on.

I knew I had more than a few resentments I needed to let go. 

Today I’ll ask myself why I’m holding onto my resentments.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Getting Past the Past
Billie joined us.  “How’s the new boyfriend?” I asked.

“He’s a really nice guy,” Billie said.

“Your words say ‘nice’, but your face says ‘serial killer.’”

“I thought my ex was a nice guy. Do you remember what he did? While I was in detox, he dropped our son off at my sister’s, cleaned out our bank accounts, sold my car, and moved to Arizona with his glitter tramp girlfriend.”

“And yet, you stayed sober,” I pointed out, still impressed.  “So if you could do that, maybe you could give this new guy a chance.”

“I want to,” Billie said. “I just don’t know if I can.”

“You probably didn’t know if you could stay sober, but you did. You won’t know if you can get past your past until you try.”
Today I won’t know until I try.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Admit One
Cara wasn’t at the next Monday Knights AA meeting.  I asked Roger if he’d heard from her. He told me she had missed a court date.  “She refuses to deal with the court until they reduce the charges to vandalism and reckless endangerment. Now there’s a warrant out for her arrest.”

I shook my head and quoted the second half of the tenth step, “’And when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.’ She better admit she was wrong soon or she’s gonna spend some serious time locked up.”

“The longer you wait to admit, the more things turn to shit,” Roger said.

 “Wow, that’s beautiful,” I said laughing. “Have you thought about writing poetry full-time?”

Today I will promptly admit when I’m wrong.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Monday, March 25, 2019

Achievement and Success
 “Can you look at my essay on success,” Brat Boy asked as he joined Dr. Deb and me on the deck.

“Sure,” I said. “When is it due? I can probably go over it in a day or two.”

“It’s due tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.”

“How long have you known about this?” I asked.

“Six weeks.”

“You’re killing me,” I said. I read his essay. “I think you left out an important point. Achievement is reaching a goal. Success is reaching that goal honestly, while holding onto your values.”

Today I will strive to be a success.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Friday, March 22, 2019

Complaint Department
That day wore on and on. When Dr. Deb got home from work we ate on the deck.  I didn’t share her cheerful mood.

“Nice to be outside,” she said.

“It’s supposed to rain tonight,” I answered.

“Aww, look at the deer,” Dr.  Deb said, pointing to a doe and two fawns who’d come to eat the bird seed that had fallen from the feeder.

“They carry ticks that cause Lyme disease.”

“We’re growing old together,” she said, brushing an almost white lock of my hair aside.
I thought for a moment, kissed her, and said, “I have no complaints.”

Today I’ll be grateful for having no real complaints.


Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Let There Be Light
Trevor texted, ‘I got my prescriptions filled. Maybe I learned my lesson.’

‘Halleluiah,’ I texted back. It took me several tries to spell halleluiah, even with the help of the spellcheck program. I thought, ‘when someone close finally sees the light it brightens your world as well.’ Several examples popped into my head, mostly from people I had known.

When a parent finally recognizes his kid isn’t a saint and needs some guidance.  (I learned doing family assessments that everybody’s child got in with the wrong crowd, none of them were the wrong crowd.)  When people accept they’re addicted and decide to do something about it. When she finally sees he’s a control freak and walks away.  When he leaves a job that’s killing him, even if the money is good. 

The list went on. Thinking about people who’d seen the light brought a smile to my face.

Today I will be happy for friends who finally see the light.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Bad Luck
As I was cursing my laptop I got a text from Kim.  Somebody had hit her new boyfriend’s side mirror on the driver’s side.  ‘Probably a kid texting and driving too close to the row of parked cars,’ she wrote. ‘He has the worst luck!’ 

Two flat tires and a broken mirror – I was starting to think luck wasn’t the issue. I forwarded her text to Trevor.  Trevor texted back he didn’t believe in bad luck or coincidence.   He reminded me that Three DUI Doug had believed his first three DUIs were all due to bad luck.

Three DUI Doug swore his initial DUI happened the first time he’d driven drunk in years.  He blamed his second on having the misfortune to drive past an officer who knew him from high school.  He got caught at a sobriety checkpoint for his third.  ‘I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,’ he liked to say.  ‘Just plain bad luck.’  Three DUI Doug was convinced bad luck, not drinking, was his problem, probably within an hour of them prying open his car to retrieve his body the last time he drove drunk.
Today I won’t assume bad luck is the source of my problems.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Uphill Battle
The next day Blondie came home to see a band but the show got canceled.  We ordered pizza instead. At the end of the night her car wouldn’t start.  We called my brother-in-law who owns a service station in New Jersey.

“Sounds like your starter,” he said.  I could almost hear the cash register ringing at the local garage. 

Blondie drove back to school in my car. I arranged to have her car towed. 

In the morning I got online to post my blog, but my laptop wouldn’t work. I got a message the security programs weren’t running.  I tried to scan and got a message a virus had been detected.  The scan stopped and I spent an hour starting and restarting my computer as directed by the security programs.  I thought I could hear some programmer somewhere laughing.

I wanted to beat the car starter with my laptop, but decided against it.  I didn’t own the laptop. 
‘Some days just start uphill,’ I said to the dog.  ‘Some days #$%^#$ do.’

Today I will accept some days start uphill.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Monday, March 18, 2019

Help By Any Other Name
“I wanted to say hello to Cara,” Jack said.  “Have you seen her?

I explained Cara’s legal troubles.  I added, “She relapsed.  She has a hard time admitting she needs help. I expect it will be a while before she comes back around.”

Jack rubbed his chin, and said, “I knew a guy like that.  We had to change the way we told him he needed help. We’d tell him he wasn’t asking for advice, he was doing research.  He wasn’t getting assistance, he was adding subcontractors.”

“That worked?”

“Deep down he knew it was a word game, but he could accept help under those terms most of the time.  Sometimes though, he couldn’t, and things turned out badly.”   

Today I will accept whatever help I need, no matter how it’s presented to me.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Friday, March 15, 2019

Unassuming
“Sorry to hear about your dad,” Jack said.  “I met him years ago.”

“You did?” I asked.

“He was staying with you for a week.  Katie and I stopped by to drop off a story she’d written and wanted you to edit.”  I had no memory of it.

Jack added, “I told him I worked for the government. Most people assume the worst when you tell them that. He thanked me, a big smile on his face. He seemed genuinely happy for me, hoped I got a pension. I think I could have told him I was an assassin and he would have congratulated me, and asked me how I got into that line of work.”  

I was dying to ask Jack if he was an assassin, but if he truly was one, asking him seemed like a really bad idea.

“That was my father, always upbeat, never assuming the worst about people,” I said.

“Maybe that’s why he got a kick out people. Until they prove you wrong, assuming the best makes them more likable.”

Today I won’t assume the worst about people.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose


Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Booster Shots
A couple days later I went to the Monday Knights AA meeting. The usual crowd was there. So was Jack, Katie’s husband.

“Hi Jack,” I said extending a hand.  He shook it and read my expression.

“Hi Ken,” he said. “You’re wondering why I’m here.  Katie was the alcoholic, not me.”

“Well, yeah.”

“I had to get booster shots to strengthen my immunizations before I go overseas.  Being here is like a mental booster shot, building up my determination not to mix alcohol and grief.” 

“Where you going? I asked. He didn’t answer. The look in his eye told me I was better off not knowing.

Today I’ll seek out mental booster shots.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Truth be Told
‘Gotta go,’ Billie texted. ‘Meeting Cara for coffee.  Gonna tell her I love her, but she’s completely, 100%, absolutely in the wrong, and needs to stop whining about the little time she spent in jail.’

I typed, ‘Wow, she’s going to hate that, especially coming from you, her best friend!’

Billie texted, ‘Sigh, what are best friends for if not to tell you when you’re being a spoiled brat with more money than sense?’

I thought back to times good friends had told me things I didn’t want to hear about my drinking, studying, and work ethic.  At the time I had resented them, but they had planted seeds that got me thinking about my situation. It might have taken me even longer to get sober if they hadn’t confronted me.

Today I’ll try to be grateful for people who tell me painful truths.


Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Miss Match
I didn’t really want that job,’ Billie texted. ‘Just another example of me being Miss Match.’
‘Miss Match?’ I texted back.

She texted, ‘Miss Match… mismatch. What I need/want isn’t what I’m chasing.  I met someone nice.  I need to let go of my anger with my ex. It’s been years since he took off.  I want to see if I could make it work with this new guy.  I’m working more instead.’

There was a long pause as she typed more.

‘It’s like someone who’s empty inside, but instead of finding something they’re missing, they fill that void with alcohol or food. It’s a mismatch.  Miss Match is really, really likely to become addicted to the mismatch. I’m well on my way to becoming a workaholic.”

Today I’ll beware of Miss Match.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Monday, March 11, 2019

Enough is Enough
That night Billie texted me, ‘I turned down the job.'

‘I’m glad you did,’ I texted back. ‘I heard you were staring at the medication cart in the hospital like a kid in a candy store.’

‘That too. The main reason to take the job was for the money. I looked around and realized I had enough. I decided to be grateful for that.’

Today I’ll be grateful for having enough.

Dogged Determination ©2018 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Friday, March 8, 2019

That Didn’t Work, Let’s Do It Again
“Do you want to stop and get your prescriptions filled?” I asked Trevor.

“Nah,” he said waving his bandaged hand. “I’ll do it later.”

He wasn’t going to do it later. He was going to go home, get online, and look for some bizarre remedy purchased in three easy payments of $19.99.  Trevor hadn’t learned anything.

I started to say something but stopped. I’d argued with Trevor over and over about taking medical advice. Had I learned anything? Instead of trying to reason with him as I usually did, I said, “I’m worried about you.  If you don’t take the antibiotics your infection might come back.”

“That won’t happen,” he said with absolute certainty. 

I truly wanted to push him out of the car, but I was afraid I might dent the door on a guardrail.  I fought the urge to do what had never worked before, argue with him logically.  Instead, I said with as much concern as I could muster, “You’re an idiot.”

Today I will fight the urge to do what has never worked before.

Dogged Determination ©2018 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Memories
Several days later I picked up Trevor at the hospital. He was being released but wasn’t cleared to drive. I filled him in on what he’d missed.

“Sorry to hear about your dad,” Trevor said. “You sad, or are you OK?”

“I’m sad and I’m OK,” I said. “The funeral was rough. Lunch afterward was a little brighter.  We went to my niece’s house later. That felt like a celebration.”

“Good memories?”

“We shared a ton of good memories. He was a character.”

“I envy you,” Trevor said softly. He had very few good memories of his father. For a second I felt his loss more intensely than my own.

Today I’ll be grateful for good memories.

Dogged Determination ©2018 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

In Lieu of Flowers
A few days later my father passed away.

An old friend sent me condolences. He had missed the funeral and asked what he could do since it was too late to send flowers.  I told him the world seemed a little colder without my father.‘In lieu of flowers,’ I wrote, ‘You could help me try to make up for his loss.’ I suggested several ways.

In lieu of flowers, make sure people know you’re happy to see them. (My father never said ‘Hi’, he said, ‘HELLO,’ and smiled, a big warm smile that couldn’t help but brighten someone’s day.)

In lieu of flowers, commit small acts of kindness. Hold the door open, take an elderly neighbor shopping, compliment a stranger.

In lieu of flowers, make sure the people you love know it.

In lieu of flowers, savor the good in life, and show your appreciation to the people who made it possible.

In lieu of flowers, put family first, always. Treat as many people as possible like family.

In lieu of flowers, find joy, not jealousy, in other people’s accomplishments.
In lieu of flowers, don’t gossip, tell funny stories.

Finally, I wrote, ‘You knew my father, he was a man of great faith. In lieu of flowers, live the Scripture he lived: “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Today, in lieu of flowers…

Dogged Determination ©2018 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.


Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/