Fawlty Showers 2

Do You Copy?

Teachers tended not to believe the dog ate your homework.  I doubted the regulators would believe the rabbit ate my chart.

I trudged to the copy machine.

Randy was an administrator who made few copies.  He thought the ancient copier worked just fine.  Those of us who printed handouts for group held a different opinion.

“Your mother was mimeograph with a loose handle,” I said to the machine.

I put half the chart into the feeder and pushed the button for two-sided printing.  Three pages later the feeder jammed. I cleared the jam.  Two minutes after that, I heard a ripping noise and paper crumpling inside the copier.

I ended up feeding the pages of the chart to the copier one at a time, clearing a clog about every ten.

In the grand scheme of things, a lousy copier was not a big deal.  “I’m not going to take this personally,” I said to the machine.  I looked around before whispering, “But wouldn’t it be a shame if somebody spilled a giant cup of coffee down your innards?”

 

Today I’ll accept some frustration is just part of life.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

 www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

The Nature of the Beast

After the meeting I found DipshitDumbass the bunny in my office nibbling on a client’s chart I’d tossed onto the floor.  I’d have to copy all the pages and put together a new chart.

“You like carrots, right?” I asked DD.

His ears twitched. I took that as a yes.

“How about potatoes? Onions? Celery? Maybe a pinch of salt? Some boiling water? You see where I’m going with this?”

He twitched his ears again, but I wasn’t convinced he understood. Rabbits can be a little dense.

I couldn’t blame DD. He did what rabbits do. Nibbling was his nature.  I thought about people I’d known who’d saved themselves heartache by understanding ‘the nature of the beast.’

Knowing her narcissistic colleague would always put his needs first saved a friend from expecting him to return favors.  It wasn’t in his nature.  She refused to deal with him.

Friends had accepted their father had no interest in getting sober. He’d ruined too many family gatherings. They told him he wasn’t welcome until he stopped drinking.

In my own recovery I’d learned it wasn’t in some people’s nature to accept me not drinking.  I understood there was no reasoning with them.  I avoided them instead.

 

Today I’ll try to understand the nature of the beast and act accordingly.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Happy Thanksgiving!

Fawlty Showers 2 will return on Monday.

Fawlty Showers 2

Second Chance

I was late for the staff meeting the next day.  Abigail had a strangely happy look on her face. Dana and Katy were smiling and staring at Randy. I asked what was up.

Abigail said, “Randy had a date with his ex-fiancée.  She got divorced a year ago and looked him up.”

“Not a date, really,” Randy said. “We met for coffee.”

Abigail wasn’t having it. “You went on a date, finally. And who better to have coffee with than your former fiancée? You gave up on that relationship much too easily.”

Randy reminded Abigail his ex had dumped him, with good reason.  Abigail argued he should have fought harder to keep her.  

I thought about things that deserved a second chance. Learning, relationships, exercise, healthy eating, and recovery sprang to mind.

I wondered if there wasn’t something I should give a second chance.

 

Today I’ll give something good a second chance.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Dr. Deb

The next day was Dr. Deb’s birthday. 

“I’m another year older,” she said with a sigh.

I hugged her, and said, “You’ve aged a year, but we haven’t gotten any older.”

She laughed and asked, “How can you say I’ve aged but we haven’t gotten older?”

“No matter how many years go past, being with you never gets old. The we of you and me never ages.”

 

Today I’ll be grateful for relationships that never get old.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Stanley

The next day Stanley was back in the hospital, in bad shape. He had given his granddaughter Melissa a list of people to call. 

She laughed a little and said, "If worse comes to worst, he wants to be buried  in one of his velour track suits.”

“I love it,” I said. 

“I found a lime green one in his closet. It might be from 1975. It might be the ugliest clothing I’ve ever seen.”  We both laughed.

After a long pause, she added, “He would never tell you, but he has a favorite quote of yours, ‘live each day like you were writing your eulogy.’”

“If people had to describe you based on what you’d done on any given day, what would they say?” I teared up a little thinking of what I’d say about Stanley.

Melissa said, “ If I giving his eulogy, I’d say my grandpa was a kind soul, honest, sarcastic but funny, concerned for others, and still in love with my grandma twenty years after her passing.”

 

Today I’ll live my life like I was writing my eulogy.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

ww.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Time Off

I took time off the next day.

Sometimes I absolutely needed to be at work. Other times I was better served taking a little time for myself. 

My problem was, even though I preached self-care at my trainings, I didn't always practice it.  That day I decided I would.

I wrote my blog, answered a few emails, and shut my laptop. I put aside that uneasy feeling I sometimes got when I wasn't at work on a weekday.  I mentally listed all the benefits of time off.

"I really needed that," I said to the dog at the end of the day.  She nodded in agreement. I wondered if thinking the dog agreed with you was a bad sign, and maybe I needed to take more time off.

 

Today I will take some time for myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

 www.greenbriartraining.com 

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

I’m Happy For You

“How did your ex respond?” I asked Katy. “You gotta think the video didn’t make him happy.”

Katy nodded. “He hated it. He told me if I had ever truly loved him I’d want him to be happy.”

Dana, who’d known Katy much longer than I had, snorted and said, “He wanted everyone to celebrate everything he did. Couldn’t care less about other people’s happiness.”

Katy sighed and looked at me. “I never met your wife. She sent a card saying she’s happy for my.  My ex said he’d fight me tooth and nail to avoid paying child support. I always want to be happy for other people, but I’ve finally learned to avoid people who can’t.”

Dana nodded, “People like your ex will drain you.  Shame you couldn’t have burned him in the pit.”

I made a note never to get on Dana’s bad side.

 

Today I’ll be happy for someone else, and avoid people who can’t be happy for me.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Healing and Hurt

Dana was subdued at the next morning’s staff meeting. I asked her why.

“The Dope Without Hope met someone new,” Dana said. “My daughter’s heartbroken.”

“I’d have predicted you’d be happy about it,” I said. “You hate The Dope.”

“I do, but The Princess loved him.  Hard to watch her suffer, even though I know in the long run she’s better off with someone else.  Anyone else.  Anyone at all.”

“Most healing hurts at first,” Abigail said.  “Most changes are at least a little uncomfortable.”

“You want to kick an addiction, you may have to go through withdrawal,” Randy said.

“You want to lose weight, you may have to be a little hungry,” I added.

“If you want to be completely done with your ex, you burn everything he left at your house in your neighbor’s fire pit,” Katy said a sinister smirk crossing her face. “Then you do a little happy dance and send him the video.”

We stared at her. “That hurt?” I asked, a little stunned and not knowing  what to say.

“An ember landed on my leg, so yes, it hurt a little.”

 

Today I’ll remember most healing hurts at first.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

The Earl of Montrose

That night Brat Boy stopped in at dinnertime.

“Where’s mom?” he asked.

I said, “She had to work late.  I’m about to put some chicken on the grill. You want some?”

“You make it just the way I like it. Charred on the outside, raw in the middle.”

I muttered something about having one child too many. 

Brat Boy smiled. “Royal Night.”

When Brat Boy and Blondie were little, Royal Night was a special treat. We’d go to Burger King for kids’ meals and paper crowns.  We’d stop at Dairy Queen on the way home.

Brat Boy and I had both put in long days.  “Who deserves to be treated more like royalty than you and me?” I asked.

“Well, mom because she’s still working,” Brat Boy said.

“We’ll get her a crown,” I said, grabbing my car keys.  I thought how so many of us caught in the daily grind should treat ourselves better, if not like royalty.

 

Today I will treat myself like royalty.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 Fawlty Showers 2

MOATivated

I also wanted to tell the people who came right up to the line that a line wasn’t enough.  Dig a moat.

If the doc tells you to avoid sweets, get the candy out of your house.  Make going to the store to buy candy the ‘moat’ you have to cross.

If alcohol is your problem, get it out of the house as well.  Make going to the bar the moat between you and a relapse.

If you’re tempted by someone who’s likely to ruin your life, avoid the places they go.  Dig your moat deep. Block them, lose their number.

You’re likely to hear the negative people in your life say, “If you want to do it, you’re gonna do it.”  They’re only semi-right.

If you want to badly enough, you can always cross the moat.  They are right about that.  But, the moat may be just enough to stop you, or at least slow you down. The moat gives you time to think: do I really want this?

Dig the moat.  If you can, put the negative people on the other side of it.

Today I will dig a moat.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

But You Didn’t

I had wanted to put off correcting the tests, but I hadn’t.  I thought about people who beat themselves up over what they almost did, or wanted to do, but didn’t.

“I wanted to drink so bad I shook, but I didn’t. But damn, how I wanted that drink.”

“Doc’s got me on a strict diet.  Don’t know how I’ve stuck to it, I’ve got no willpower.”

“Could have gone home with him, but I didn’t.  I feel terrible that I was even tempted.”

“I fought the urge to smack that smirk right off his face.  I walked away instead. You don’t know how much I wanted to hit him.”

“The kid who sat next to me is a genius, I coulda cheated off him, but I didn’t.  There’s something really wrong with me because God, I really wanted to.”

“I stared at my phone for hours thinking about calling my dealer, but I didn’t.  Guess I’m just an addict at heart.”

I wanted to tell those folks you came right up to the line, but you didn’t cross it. Don’t beat yourself up, be glad you didn’t.

 

Today I’ll be glad I didn’t cross the line.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

Just a Moment

Part of my job was offering home-study courses for people in the helping professions.  As the end of the calendar year approached, procrastinators flooded me with orders and tests.

After the meeting that day, Katy had dumped a pile of mailed-in tests on my desk.  More waited for me as email attachments or online responses.

I knew I’d be correcting tests most of the day, but I took a moment to just breathe.   I mentally wrote a short gratitude list, sipping my coffee, relaxing in my chair.

Wading through those tests sucked every bit as much as I thought it would, but at least I’d had that moment.

 

Today I’ll take a moment for myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Reference Shelves

I probably shouldn’t have asked, but I couldn’t help myself, “Randy, how long ago did you do all that damage?

”

“Fifteen years,” he answered, shaking his head. “I learned my lesson. I haven’t gotten really drunk since.”

“You haven’t dated much either,” Abigail pointed out to her cousin. "Do you think maybe it's time?"

I said, “OK Randy, I get why you don’t want to repeat past mistakes.  On the other hand, it’s like you learned something important in school, but you still haul the books around everywhere you go.”

Katy nodded. “Put Life’s hard lessons on a shelf so you can refer to them when you need to, but don’t carry them with you all the time.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Randy said. "Maybe I am dragging my past around."

 

Today I won’t haul around Life’s hard lessons. I’ll shelve them for future reference.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

In No Time at All

The next day Randy told us the boy whose tuition he was paying had made the honor role.

 “Do you remember the boy’s mother?” I asked.

“Vaguely,” Randy said.  “My mother and my dog died within a week of each other.  I went a little crazy for a while, maybe just six weeks or so. Doesn’t seem like a long time, but I did some serious damage.”

“What happened?”

 “I wrecked a car, messed up my knee.  Gambled away a ton of money.  Lost my best friend hitting on his girlfriend.  My fiancée found out I was getting drunk and sleeping with whoever was willing. It was the end of us.”

 Randy looked away and added, “You’ll notice I never got married. In that short time I ruined so much.”

“One of the reasons I’m sober is I know I could screw up my whole life in a single night,” I said.

Katy chimed in, “It doesn’t take alcohol to mess up your life. I was stone cold sober when I married my ex. I had only known him for a month.”

 

Today I won’t underestimate the damage I can do in a short time.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

My Own Worst Critic

That evening I worked on a short story I’d been writing for months.

“How’s it coming along?” Dr. Deb asked.

“It’s garbage. It sucks. It may be the worst story ever written.”  She gestured, and I handed her my laptop. She read the first couple of pages.

“It needs some work, but it’s not bad.  Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Doing what?” I asked.

“Acting as your own worst critic. How about you finish the story, and have somebody else critique it? Give yourself a break.”

I knew she was right. The irony was over the years I’d helped many people stop being their own worst critics.

Too many people made themselves sad and anxious being overly critical about things they said, thought and did. It was the reason so many people stumbled at the Fourth Step, taking a personal inventory.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “I’ll get an objective opinion when I’m done and give myself a break in the meantime.

 

Today I’ll stop being my own worst critic.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

Remembrances, Regrets

Raking leaves that night reminded me of my mother and how she loved the fall. 

When the weather turned chilly my mother liked sitting in our living room, feet next to the fire, reading her paper, coffee cup in hand, our dog in her lap.  The air of her contentment was one of my favorite memories.

I thought about a line from AA’s Big Book:  ‘we won’t regret the past, nor will we wish to shut the door on it.” A reassuring thought, but in my experience regrets lessened in time, but tended to hang around.

“Every day is a chance to create fond remembrances or lasting regrets,” I said to myself.

Today I’ll create fond remembrances.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Sober Not Somber

I presented “Suicide, Violence, Mental Illness, and Addiction”.  Not the happiest of topics.  At the start of the training I told the audience I took the subject very seriously, but still planned to inject some humor into the presentation.

“Sober not somber,” I said, quoting an AA slogan.

The humor was mostly at my own expense. I joked about my struggles with PowerPoint, and some of the things I’d done when I was drinking.  I repeated a story or two someone had told me about why their drug screen was positive:  “I ate twelve Costco poppy seed muffins.”

I had presented this training many times.  Once or twice someone had approached me afterward to say there was nothing funny about the topic. I told them they might be right, but was it wise to abandon your sense of humor every time a sad subject came up?

“Sober not somber isn’t just about alcohol, it’s about living as lightheartedly as you can, even when life is difficult.”

 

Today I’ll remember sober not somber.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers 2

That’s Odd

The next day I drove to Lancaster to present at the Pennsylvania DUI Conference. As I walked from the parking garage to the hotel I noticed several vehicles that were clearly unmarked police cars. 

A man walking beside me muttered, “Heavy police presence not scary, no stolen automatic weapons in my trunk.”

He saw the puzzled look on my face and told me he liked finding odd things to be grateful for.  “You can turn right on red. Polar bears don’t come this far south.  My daughter’s boyfriend never rats me out for smoking when we fish.”

“So what got you started looking for odd things to be grateful for?” I asked.

He said, “I was sitting in detox, feeling like hell. A woman sitting on the floor in the corner, knees tucked under her chin, rocking forward and back. Out of the blue she says, “I don’t have a urinary tract infection.”

I got it. “It was odd, but all she could think of to be grateful for at that moment.”

He nodded. “I knew I’d be grateful for the obvious, but I didn’t want to lose sight of the odd.”

 

Today I’ll find something odd to be grateful for.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S