Bad Sign #1:
When you heard they were closing the liquor stores, was your first thought 'What will I drink for breakfast?'
Bad Sign #2
It's the third day of quarantine. You've already googled 'justifiable homicide' twice.
Bad Sign #3
After spending several days cooped up with your teenagers, you order "Exorcism for Dummies." Overnight delivery.
Bad Sign #4
You realize you've lost some of your initial zest for cooking as you tell the kids to shut up and eat their hot dog and Cheerios casserole.
Bad Sign #5
You've never believed in conspiracy theories but now you wonder. Is the dog a little too happy to have you home? How did the cat get nine lives? Is the vet in on it too?
Bad Sign 5a, for my friends missing their 12 Step meetings during the pandemic:
Your daughter asks you to attend a tea party with her dolls. You insist she 'Open with the Serenity Prayer.' She starts to cry when you refuse to drink any imaginary tea until she recites the $%^@ % prayer. She storms out of the room in tears. You yell after her to work a step and call her sponsor... Bad Sign #6:
The kids ask for a new bedtime story. Your husband spins a tale about the 'Shin Fairies' who live in a forest growing on mommy's legs...
Bad Sign #7
You go up on the roof with a flashlight to attract the attention of aliens. You don't care where they probe you, as long as you get out of the house. BTW: Apparently you're supposed to take your mask off before you walk into the bank, even during a pandemic.
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