Judgment Day

At lunch I thought about Martin’s attorney’s argument. He seemed to be saying Martin was legally impaired at .11, but his judgment wasn’t affected at that blood alcohol level.  He implied Martin’s three DUIs made him a little more careful.  After all, Martin quit drinking when he was ‘only’ at .11.

Was he really arguing alcohol had improved Martin’s judgment? There were things I had liked about alcohol, but I couldn’t think of a single time it had improved my judgment. 

After half a case of beer I might discover I knew karate, or should have been a philosophy major, maybe a singer/dancer/comedian/bouncer.  I’d notice the woman with the vacant stare was kind of cute, in a stalky, maybe her last two boyfriends’ deaths really were accidents, cult follower, sort of way.

I couldn’t think of a single time alcohol had improved my friends’ judgment either.

Today I will remember alcohol never improves judgment.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Bad Luck

I reported to jury duty Monday morning.

The case involved a drunk driving accident. A young man named Deiter had been driving when a man named Martin had hit him broadside.  Deiter’s girlfriend had been killed.  Martin, a middle-aged  with three prior DUIs, was charged with manslaughter.

Martin’s lawyer argued that while the accident was unfortunate, Martin should have only been charged with another DUI.   Martin’s blood alcohol level had been .11, Deiter’s .09. 

The lawyer said the evidence would prove neither driver was really at fault.  He blamed Deiter’s small car, road conditions, and the timing of the traffic lights.  He questioned whether anyone was seriously impaired at .11.

They lawyer finished saying bad luck was like a machine - people accidently got caught in the gears. We shouldn’t pull them out of that machine and throw them into the gears of the criminal justice system.

‘So often we create our own bad luck,’ I thought.

Today I won’t create ‘bad luck’.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Support System

“Speaking of coffee,” Dr. Deb said, “you’re almost out. How much have you been drinking?”

I dodged the question. “Some countries that grow coffee also produce cocaine.  If the coffee market collapsed, they’d be forced to export more coke. Drinking coffee supports legitimate business while fighting drug cartels.”

Dr. Deb rolled her eyes. I went on.

“Did you know Dunkin’ Donuts hires mostly recovering addicts?”

“You made that up,” Dr. Deb said.

I had, but I said, “You don’t know this because recovering Dunkin’ employees strictly guard their anonymity.  Donuts have holes to remind them of handcuffs. Cops hang out in donut shops to see people they’ve arrested who’ve turned their lives around. Other people eating donuts keeps Dunkin’ Donuts in business.” 

“So eating donuts is your way of supporting people in recovery and law enforcement?”

I nodded my head and smiled, thinking maybe I should actually do something to support someone’s recovery.

Today I will do something support someone in their struggle to recover.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

One

“It’s your fault I eat too much candy,” I said to Dr. Deb.  “You keep refilling the bowl.”

Dr. Deb said, “You say you’re going to have one piece and you always end up eating ten. By the way, the candy isn’t just for you, you know.”

“Maybe you should have told me that.”

“I have, many, many times,” She said, laughing. 

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I ever really believed the candy was for everyone.  Try being a little more forceful when you tell me things.”

She laughed again. “I’m forceful. It’s your all or nothing addictive personality that gets you into trouble. You could watch me add a drop of poison to a coffee pot. You’d drink the first cup telling yourself one can’t hurt. In two hours you’d be lying on the floor dying, empty coffee pot next to you, wondering why you couldn’t stop at one.”

I started to argue, but knew she was right.  “The dog likes me better,” I said instead.  

Today I will remember the AA slogan: one is too many, a thousand is never enough.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Willpower

That evening I was watching TV with my wife, Dr. Deb.  She turned on the local news.  I asked her to change the channel.

“You always watch this,” she said.

“The judge asked us to avoid the news. If there’s a trial story, curiosity might get the better of me.  Once I start watching, I’d have a hard time turning away.”

Dr. Deb laughed. “For someone 31 years sober, you don’t have much faith in your willpower.”

“I’m sober because I don’t trust my willpower. Besides, testing your willpower can become a rush.”

Dr. Deb looked doubtful. I explained.

“A guy I know slipped after ten years. He’d go to the bar to drink Pepsi. He said his heart would beat a little faster. He’d be keenly aware of other people drinking.  Friends would congratulate him on staying sober in a bar. That old feeling of getting over, getting away with something took hold.  Before long he was going to the bar five times a week.”

“I’m glad you don’t trust your willpower,” she said. “She pointed to an almost empty candy dish. “I’ve seen you try to eat just one.”

Today I won’t test my willpower.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Take Care

The entire jury was seated by noon on a Friday.  The judge dismissed us until Monday morning. My first thought was I could get to my office by one, eat lunch at my desk, and get half a day’s work in before dinner. 

At that time I taught a course on Ethics, arguing people in the helping professions had an ethical duty to take care of themselves. I’d argued the need for self-care went beyond professionals, and included people who cared for family members in particular, if not everyone in general.

I recognized it wasn’t always easy. Sometimes more needs to be done than we have time to do.  But, whenever possible, I had told many audiences, you have a responsibility to take care of yourself. 

I went to the gym. Rather than picking the hardest course on the stationary bike, I rode one with a gentle slope at a reasonable pace. Afterward, I sat in the sauna.

Today I will take care of myself.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The Lighter Side

Her name was Corrine. She pronounced it CO Reen. Everyone called her “Co” or “Co Co”. She sat to my right in the second row of the jury box.

The DA was questioning another potential juror. The woman let the DA know she was doing the court a huge favor reporting for jury duty.

“You all know she has a tiny little purse with a tiny little dog,” Co whispered to me, laughing.

I laughed. The adult in me thought, ‘drop it.’ Instead I said, “The dog sits on a tiny little couch when he gets his nails done, hating her with every part of his tiny little heart.”

Co said, “That’s why the dog takes tiny little poops in her shoes.”

When you’re not allowed to laugh is when you laugh loudest. Which I did.

The judge gave us a look I remembered from school. It said, ‘if I have to separate you two, you won’t like where I send you.’

I didn’t know then how long and painful the trial would be, or how grateful I’d be for someone I could laugh with.

Today I’ll be grateful for people who make me laugh.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

At This Moment

From past experience, I knew the trial would be interesting, even exciting, and dull and boring at times.  I wondered how long it would last, and how much work was piling up on my desk.  What if Blondie, Brat Boy, or Dr. Deb needed me and I couldn’t get to my phone?

I took a deep breath, held it, and then released it slowly.

At that very moment, I sat in a comfortable chair, in a warm room, with nothing to do but relax. I would deal with work when I got back to work. If I truly was needed, I could ask to be excused.

I pushed aside my worries, counted my breaths, and started a gratitude list in my head.

Today I’ll live in the moment.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Nothing Personal

The DA questioned me at length. So did the defendant’s attorney.  The judge called the attorneys   up. They held a long conference with much gesturing and looking my way. I got annoyed.

I sat up straighter in my chair. When they turned to look, I looked right back, my face a stern mask. Who were they to question my honesty, to assume I was biased?

Finally, the attorneys agreed I could be on their jury. I took a seat in the jury box. My mind cleared and I realized it was nothing personal. Neither attorney knew me.  They were just doing their jobs.

I wondered how many other times I’d taken something personally that wasn’t personal at all.  I’d be much happier if I didn’t.

Today I won’t take everything personally.

Jury Duty © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Open Minded

We were herded into the courtroom. The blonde woman discovered she was wrong on two counts.   She didn’t have a constitutional right to hold onto her phone. The judge did have the guts to throw her in jail.

After a deputy dragged her away, the District Attorney questioned us.  The DA asked what I did for a living. 

She told me the case involved drunk driving. Could I be fair and impartial? I thought I could, but the question got me thinking. Was I really open-minded?

I’d dealt with people suffering from denial, the ultimate in closed-mindedness. A man with three DUIs refused to believe he had a drinking problem. He seemed likely to get a fourth.  A woman divorced four times, couldn’t accept she played a role in her failed marriages. I didn’t see her ever living happily ever after.  Parents who couldn’t accept their 45 year-old son wasn’t holding the drugs for a friend, and really needed to grow up.

The closed-minded are often blind-sided when the truth hits them.  I didn’t want to be one of them.

Today I will be open-minded.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

iAddict

A week later I was sitting in a large room with forty or so others waiting to be picked for a jury.  We had all been given pamphlets explaining our duties as potential jurors.  Each pamphlet came in a plastic bag with a number attached.

A pale older man in with a clipboard called out “Numbers eight, nine, twelve, twenty-one, and thirty, please put phones in the numbered bag. Place it in the bin.” He held up a small plastic container.

Four of us did as we were told.

A blonde thirty-something woman in a gray pantsuit said she’d put her phone on vibrate. She needed to stay in touch with her office. When that didn’t work, she said her father was gravely ill.

“You can tell the judge,” the old man said holding out the bin, “Maybe he’ll excuse you.”

“OK,” she said. “I’ll just hold onto it until he lets me go.”

The old man shook his head and the bin. She threw a temper tantrum. 

“How they get addicted to those phones,” a middle-aged woman said to me, shaking her head.

Today I’ll beware of new addictions.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Jury Duty for Example

I was watching TV with my eyes closed when my daughter Blondie dropped an envelope in my lap.

“Somebody’s in trouble,” she said. “It’s from the Butler County Courthouse. If you go to prison, can I have your car?”

“Probably parking tickets,” I said, I tore open the envelope, preparing for the worst.  “Nope, jury duty.”

“Will you try to get out of it?” my daughter Blondie asked. 

I really didn’t want jury duty.  In my twenties I had served on a jury for six weeks.  Multiple defendants had been tried for murder. Part of me felt like I had done my bit.

On the other hand, Blondie had obviously picked up on the popular notion that jury duty was something to avoid.  I wanted to set a good example, knowing actions speaking much louder than words, especially excuses.

 “No,” I said. “If you’re called, you serve.”

Today I will set a good example.

Jury Duty © 2019 by Ken Montrose

Jury Duty is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Prairie Lane

Sue had a little boy she named ‘Prairie Lane.’ I was afraid to ask why, assuming years of substance abuse played a role.

Sue beamed at her son, but told me the world seemed even scarier now than it had when Baby Katie was born.   “I can’t stop watching the news and worrying,” she said.  We talked about common fears, and post-partum depression, and how it never hurt to talk to a professional.

As I held Prairie, I thought Sue had a point, the world could be a frightening place. On the other hand, every generation seemed to solve two problems while creating one new one. Two steps forward one step back.   I wondered what his generation would bring to the world. 

“He’s a little bundle of hope,” I said to Sue.  

“The world’s a mess, kid,” I said to Prairie. “Can’t wait to see what you’re going to do about it.”

Today I will have hope.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Thanks for reading these posts. Tomorrow I’ll start a new series, Jury Duty.  I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Props

The speaker at the Monday Knights meeting said, “When one door closes, another door opens.”  Nothing I hadn’t heard a thousand times before.  “But if you want to go through that door tomorrow, you gotta prop it open.”

He continued, “The door to sobriety opened. It took me six rehabs before I propped it open, started doing the daily disciplines that keep us sober.

“I’ve been married four times.  Marriage was more of a revolving door the first three times.  This last one is different. I do the things every day to make sure that door stays open. Tell her I love. Treat her well. Make sure she feels appreciated.”

He went on to describe how being sober made it easier to prop the door open in business and coaching. “I tell my players, talent may unlock the door for you, but if you don’t prop it open with hard work, it closes. You miss opportunities, and lose out to people who every day do the things to prop the door to success open.”

Today I will prop the door open.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Gratitude

Cara’s lawyers fought tooth and nail. They delayed, filed endless motions, and tied up the courts,  In the meantime, her husband hired a PR firm.  They flooded social media with posts blaming the road, the car maker, and the weather.  She was offered a sweet plea agreement.

Cara spent five years in a minimum security prison and a year on house arrest.  A friend who was an attorney told me anyone else would have spent fifteen years in a real prison. 

“We should be grateful we don’t have her money,” the attorney said. “The more trouble you can buy your way out of, the less likely you are to change your ways.”

I thought he made a great point.  Without money, connections, or influence, the rest of us are forced to take responsibility for our actions. 

Today I’ll be grateful for the things I don’t have.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Credit

Roger ran for school board again.  The Youngstown Kid helped.  As much as The Kid annoyed me, I had to give him credit.  He worked hard.

I knew I’d never really like The Youngstown Kid.  He talked about himself constantly, took credit for anything good that happened anywhere near him, and claimed to have talents he didn’t seem to possess. 

On the other hand, he put in hours and hours on Roger’s campaign.  He didn’t make a dime.  At least I could like that.

My first sponsor said in any group you’ll meet people you don’t like.  If you need to be in that group, finding something to like about them makes their company easier to endure.  Don’t jump out of the lifeboat because someone annoys you.

Today I’ll try to find something to like about someone I don’t.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Good Dogs

Kim and her husband bought a place in the country where they adopted seven dogs.  They started a program with troubled kids, teaching them how to care for animals.  Whenever I visited, I left amazed at how much good two people could do.  I wondered if I couldn’t do more.

Today I’ll try to do some good for someone.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

History Lesson

Trevor asked me if I knew Sam’s on-again-off-again-on-again relationship with Pam was on again.  “They got re-engaged,” he said.

I said, “Getting engaged to Pam once again is the biggest mistake since Hitler took on the Russians.”

Trevor looked puzzled. I explained in WWII the Germans marched all the way to the gates of Moscow. Winter set in, and they were wiped out.

“The altar is Moscow.  Maybe the march to the church will be quick, but just before the ceremony, the bitter cold will set in. For the umpteenth time, Sam’ll wake up and see Pam is deranged. All the money he spent, all the time, all the emotions will lay broken, like the German army, dying in a frigid wasteland.”

“Okay, that’s a bit dramatic,” Trevor said, laughing, “but that’s kinda what I think will happen.”

“They say those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

I made a list of past mistakes I didn’t want to repeat.

Today I won’t repeat past mistakes.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

DarWin or Lose

I ran into Trevor a day later. He had wanted to get back on the police force for years. It never happened, was never going to happen.  We talked about his job designing furniture for a major manufacturer.  He loved it.

“Don’t know how it happened,” he told me, “but I found something that made me happier than I ever would have been back in uniform.”

I thought for a moment. “Not to blow sunshine, but I think you wound up happy because you could adapt.  When you got kicked off the force you could have taken a job you hated that paid well. Instead you restored furniture. It didn’t pay much, but it let you adapt your talents to your new situation.”

“Maybe,” he said, smiling, “I’ve evolved.”

Today I will adapt and evolve.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Santa, The Abominable Snowman, & Unicorns

Six months later I ran into Billie’s son, William.  I asked about school. We talked about fishing and writing, two interests we shared. He told me he liked Bo, his stepfather. He called him ‘NG.’

“NG?” I asked.

“New Guy,” William said. It’s kind of a joke between us.  The only problem we have is my mother is convinced I secretly resent NG for taking my dad’s place.”

“Seriously?”

Will said, “I’m twenty-two. I don’t expect Bo to be my dad. My dad was a POS. NG makes my mother happy. She’s creating an issue where none exists.”

I made a note to see if there were any issues I’d created that didn’t really exist.

Today I’ll take an inventory of my issues to see if any of them don’t really exist.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

h.a.l.T.

In my defense, I was really tired when I got to the Monday Knights AA meeting. I was already sitting at my table when Sue walked in with Baby Katie.  Katie held out her arms. I put her on my shoulder.

Sue smiled at me. She patted her belly. “Guess what,” she said.

“You want to go to the gym with Billie and me?” I said, yawning. “Listen, exercise is a great way to lose weight, but diet is more important.”

“What? Wait, no, I’m pregnant, you boob!”

“Congratulations,” I said but it was too late. When Billie and Kim arrived they took turns hugging Sue and glaring at me.

“I’m really tired,” I said to nobody in particular. 

Tonight, come hell or high water, I will get a good night’s sleep.

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

Nurture vs. Nature

As I corrected the home-study tests, I could hear our clients still talking about New Year’s resolutions.

I always thought January 1^st was a good day to make changes, but danger lies in believing the day is magical.  January 1^st is much like any other day. The magic comes from within. It’s a gathering of strength, creating a spark.

The spark has to be nurtured.  Picture a man starting a campfire on a drizzly day. He lights tiny twigs, then blows life into the fire, shielding the flame with his hands and body.  He piles on small sticks he’d laid nearby. Slowly he adds larger logs until he has a roaring fire that burns despite the wind and rain.

A second man throws logs in a pile, douses them with lighter fluid, and tosses on a match.  Flames shoot up, burn briefly, and then flicker out. He curses the weather, saying it’s impossible to enjoy a campfire under these conditions.

People who nurture change tend to succeed.  The rain may fall, but they don’t let the world douse their flame.

Today I will nurture whatever changes I need to make.

  

Dogged Determination ©2018 & 2019 by Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/