The New Abnormal #28

You've come up with cute names for the weight you put on during the lockdown. Flu Flab. Pandemic Paunch. Fauci Fifteen. Isolation Insulation. Birx Bulge. The Wide From Being Inside. 'Rona Rolls. (With apologies to Drs. Birx/Fauci.)

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Good Advice

I was sitting in the Daddy Chair later when I had an idea and called The Marketing Maven.

“No,” was all she said.

“Oh, c’mon,” I answered. “Anybody who follows that team either has a drinking problem, or is five times more likely to develop one.”

“A, you just made up the five times statistic, and B, you are not handing out your business card to anyone wearing their gear.  Don’t you think diehard fans would be insulted?”

She was absolutely right, so I said, “The Boss likes me better than you,” and hung up.

I thought of people I’d known who hadn’t gotten good advice before doing something.  People I’d counseled who called their sponsor after they picked up the first drink, tried a new drug, skipped a doctor appointment, and listened to some guy on the internet instead of the  board-certified professional.

Today I will seek out good advice.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #27

"Second wave doesn't scare me," you say to the pallet of toilet paper in your garage.

Lessons from a Wishing Well

When I got back from my ride, I stopped in the backyard to look at the wishing well Blondie and Brat Boy had made me for Fathers’ Day. Two tires I’d saved from a dead snow blower had been painted and stacked to form the well. It sat on a base made from an outdoor table Blondie and I had assembled years earlier.

The supports were made of wood I’d salvaged from the trebuchet Brat Boy and I had built for his senior project. They’d bought fresh lumber to make the roof, flowers, rope, and a crank. I loved the idea they had taken the old and battered, combined it with a few new bits, and made something beautiful.

“The old lumber is like values that serve people well year after year,” I said to myself. “Hold onto them: honesty, kindness, commitment.  The tires are all the things in life that didn’t work out; repurpose them as lessons learned. The new stuff is what we add as we age; combine them with wisdom, experience, relationships.

Today I’ll take a lesson from the wishing well.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #26

Too late, you remember there are places you can scratch during a Zoom presentation showing only your head that you can't scratch standing in front of a live audience.

Good and Tired

When I got home I saw rain in the forecast for the next three days. I was already worn out from my bike ride, but I cut the grass anyway, my legs complaining each step of the way.

I was dog tired when I finished, but it was a good kind of tired. I thought of other good ones, and not so good ones. 

Good ones included:

•         The kids/grandkids are finally asleep. (I remembered being tired when mine were little and I was much younger, wondered how I’d keep up with grandchildren all day.)
•          Picked up extra work to buy something special tired.
•          Exercise tired.

·         Got caught up at work/school/home projects tired.

I remembered some not so good kinds of tired:

·          Tired of fighting with someone tired.

·         Tired of making excuses tired.

·         Hungover tired because alcohol makes you sleepy, but the sleep isn’t deep.

·         Sick and tired of being sick and tired because the hole you’ve dug is deep.

I went to sleep thinking I’d find a way to end tomorrow the good kind of tired.

I will end today the good kind of tired.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #25

You have to confront a co-worker in the parking lot. While unmarked, that space, much like your pew in church, was yours before the virus, was yours during the virus, and will be yours forever more.

Enjoy the Day

I got on my bike and set my watch. My goal was to average 16 mph. I set my bike computer, and then thought, ‘Nah, I’ll just enjoy the day.’

Not long into my ride, I saw Phineas and Millicent.  I didn’t know their real names, but they reminded me of a couple who might have strolled the London streets in the late 1800s.

As I passed Phineas I pointed to Millicent up ahead and asked, “Think you’ll catch her?” He laughed, and said, “She caught me a long time ago.”  I couldn’t help but smile.

I stopped to talk to a fisherman who said his only luck was sunshine on his day off. He seemed happy. 

Near the end of my ride, a young guy flew by me. I took off after him, closing the gap until we hit the steeper part of an uphill grade. My lungs and legs reminded me why very few 50-somethings weighing north of 250 pounds race the Tour de France. I laughed at myself.

Putting my bike in my SUV, I thought, “Every now and then I need to do nothing but enjoy the day.”

Today I will enjoy the day.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #24

You realize that intoxicating scent she's wearing, the one that quickens your pulse, is Lysol.

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

People

At the end of the day, I drove to the Butler-Freeport Trail to ride my bike.  Most people understand bike trails are like roads.  Stay to the right, pass on the left. Some people who use the Butler-Freeport Trail don’t seem to grasp this concept.

Happy But Not So Bright Lady walks in the middle of the trail, smiles when she sees me, and moves directly into my path saying, “Ooh, let me get out of your way.”

Stare Roids, a muscular and always shirtless guy, walks with his wife on the wrong side. He stares at me when I barely get around him, refusing to make a wide arc to feed his ego.  ‘You don’t scare me,’ I always think, pedaling as fast as I can to put distance between us.

The Shady Bunch, a family of fifteen, stop in the middle of the trail to stare at the trees, poke a dead bird with a stick, or just talk. I’ve learned from experience they’re not interested in my suggestions for more reliable birth control.

I take a deep breath as I get on my bike. I’m going to enjoy my ride no matter who’s on the trail, accepting I can’t change people.

Today I will accept I can’t change people.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #23

You see that NYC is reopening. Given what's happened so far in 2020, you expect the giant alligators that really do live in the sewers to come out of hiding and gobble up entire subway trains full of people.

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Other People’s Mistakes

I went back to my office with a heavy heart. I genuinely liked Terri and Reggie, and I felt their frustration, disappointment, and fear.

“One of the saddest things in life is to watch good people struggle,” I said to my laptop. I thought how hard it would be for me to get sober again if I relapsed. “One of the smartest is to learn from other people’s mistakes.”

Today I will learn from other people’s mistakes.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #23

You've forgotten how to put make-up on while driving, so much so that when you get to work colleagues ask if a) you've been crying, b) you've come to work straight from a party and/or one night stand, or c) you're in a play, starring as a clown who kills her mother.

Summer with the Slug Rats

Uphill Climb

When I got to work the next day, several familiar faces passed by my door on the way to the group room.  Two or three had gotten clean last year and relapsed during the pandemic. I poked my head in to see how they were doing.

“It’s easier and it’s harder this time,” an older man named Reggie told me. “I know what to do, but the drinking has momentum of its own. I feel like a little kid laughing as he rolls downhill toward a swamp.”

 A young woman named Terri said, “Each time I text my ex, it gets harder not get back together. I know he’s a swamp, but putting up with the loneliness is my uphill battle.”

“I hear you,” I said. “Any change can be an uphill battle. But, I promise you, you’ll get to a level spot eventually. You’ll be stronger from the effort. You’ll look for new mountains.”

Today I’ll climb the mountain.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

In honor of Fathers Day, and given the times we live in, it seemed appropriate to repost this.  SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS will return on Monday.

In Lieu of Flowers

A few days later my father passed away.

An old friend sent me condolences. He had missed the funeral and asked what he could do since it was too late to send flowers. I told him the world seemed a little colder without my father.

‘In lieu of flowers,’ I wrote, ‘You could help me try to make up for his loss.’ I suggested several ways.

In lieu of flowers, make sure people know you’re happy to see them. (My father never said ‘Hi’, he said, ‘HELLO,’ and smiled, a big warm smile that couldn’t help but brighten someone’s day.)

In lieu of flowers, commit small acts of kindness. Hold the door open, take an elderly neighbor shopping, compliment a stranger.

In lieu of flowers, make sure the people you love know it.

In lieu of flowers, savor the good in life, and show your appreciation to the people who made it possible.

In lieu of flowers, put family first, always. Treat as many people as possible like family.

In lieu of flowers, find joy, not jealousy, in other people’s accomplishments.

In lieu of flowers, don’t gossip, tell funny stories.

Finally, I wrote, ‘You knew my father, he was a man of great faith. In lieu of flowers, live the Scripture he lived: “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Today, in lieu of flowers…

Dogged Determination ©2018 by

Ken Montrose

Dogged Determination is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #21

Taking a mask off is now 'first base.'

Invested

I said to Dr. Deb, “The better you spend your coin one day, the more options you have the next.
If I’d spent yesterday drinking, I would have had to spend my coin very differently today.”

“How so?” Dr. Deb asked.

“Instead of sitting here, I’d be in rehab, not to work but to get sober. I’d be looking for a new career. You can’t work in a rehab if you’re an active alcoholic.”

“Glad you didn’t drink,” she said squeezing my hand.

“Instead of apologizing, I get to laugh with my kids. Instead of trying to dig myself out of your doghouse, I get to watch the sunset with you.  Spending my coin wisely yesterday set me up to spend it wisely today.”

“You didn’t just spend it, you invested.”

Today I will invest in tomorrow.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #20

You hear a siren and see flashing red lights. A small motorized vehicle with a basket in front races past you. Somebody went the wrong way down the produce aisle. That somebody is going to spend some time in the cooler.

To Coin a Phrase

As the sun set, I held a coin up to the fading rays. Dr. Deb looked at me quizzically.

I said, “Imagine an ATM that dispenses one coin at a time, but won’t tell you how many you have left.  Each day you withdraw a coin. You have to spend it and you don’t know if it’s your last. When the money is gone, so are you.”

Dr. Deb laughed, “You really do have a morbid personality.”

“Listen, this is the flip side of what I told you about each day being my eulogy.  At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, ‘what did I get for my coin?’ Today I got a lot done at work. I rode my bike. I spent time with the kids. I ended the day with you.”

“You spent your coin wisely,” Dr. Deb said taking my hand in hers.

Today I will spend my coin wisely.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #19

After months of lockdown with your kids, you're disappointed when the recruiter tells you: a) there's no guarantee you'd be posted 'as far away from home as possible,' and b) no branch of the military is going to accept a 55 year-old.

First Step

We sat on the patio. Dr. Deb said, “Penny for your thoughts.”

“Thinking about things I wanted to do before 60,” I said.

“What’s stopping you from picking one and getting started?” she asked. What was stopping me, I wondered. 

I knew the answer – taking the first step.  I feared taking the first step and committing to something I might not complete, something I might fail at.

I thought about the first steps I’d taken that turned out well.  After my first AA meeting, I never drank again. After I wrote the first chapter of my novel, I couldn’t stop until I finished. After I finally got the nerve to ask Dr. Deb out, my whole life changed for the better.

I made a list of possible first steps I’d like to take.

Today I will take the first step.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #18

You see Gucci masks advertised. They come with a matching purse and a tiny dog.

Pancakes

Brat Boy got pancake mix out of the cupboard.  “It’s almost dinner time,” I said. “Why are you making pancakes?”

Brat Boy said, “I’m making the batter tonight so I can have some as soon as I get up.” He poured chocolate chips into the mix. “The secret is to use regular chips and the minis. You get an interesting texture that way and the minis break up the batter.”

“He’s his grandfather,” Dr. Deb said. Neither my son nor my father ever simply liked something. They treasured it, savored it.  A good pancake wasn’t just tasty, it was the greatest breakfast a human could consume, and proof God loved us. And that Mrs. Butterworth…

I liked to think I’d learned to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, but I knew Brat Boy had a lot to teach me.

Today I will find joy in everyday life.

 Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #17

You pray for God to protect your friends, family, and our nation from the virus. Oh, and the coffee growers, please dear God don't let anything happen to the coffee growers.

Fishy

Brat Boy walked into the kitchen. “One of your goldfish died,” I said.

 “The other one must have killed it,” Brat Boy said.  Dr. Deb, Blondie, and TyGuy stared at us.

“They’re on the same weird wavelength,” Dr. Deb said.

Blondie said, “Two strange peas in a twisted pod.”

“One probably ate more than his fair share of food,” Brat Boy said. “It’s not strange, it’s justice.  If CharChar was here, she’d say the same thing.”

Brat Boy and I exchanged fist bumps.

“See, this is why I like AA,” I said.

 “What do dead fish have to do with not drinking?” TyGuy asked, sounding baffled.

“People at AA are on the same wavelength. You tell most people you drank vanilla extract, they think you’re strange. Tell someone at an AA meeting and they’ll think, ‘If that’s what you had, that’s what you drank.’”

They stared at me some more.

Today I’ll be grateful for people on my weird wavelength.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #16

"Last one picked for dodgeball as a kid," you mutter, as you throw balled up pieces of bread at the pigeons in the park. "Last one picked to go back to work." One bird flies away, leaving a deposit on your shoulder as he goes.

Goldfish Are Really Small Loan Sharks

“One of the goldfish is dead,” Dr. Deb said as I walked into my house.   Dr. Deb, TyGuy, and Blondie were staring at the fishbowl.

“The other one must have killed it,” I said. “That one probably pushed the other one’s head out of the water until he died.”

Dr. Deb shook her head, “Why in God’s name would you assume one killed the other? That has to be the worst possible scenario.”

I shrugged. “Maybe one owed the other money. Goldfish are really tiny loan sharks.”

Blondie laughed, “Putting the fish aside, you do sometimes make yourself miserable imaging the worst, Dad.”

I knew they were right, but wondered how we had gotten from a floating fish to one of my character flaws

“TyGuy, if you find my body, and even if I was in poor health," I said gesturing toward Dr. Deb and Blondie, “assume the worst.”

Today I won’t  make myself miserable assuming the worst.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #15

"I don't think the lockdown affected me at all," you tell the dog as you peel the whitening strips from his teeth. "Now that the salon is open, we should treat ourselves to manicures."

Time & Effort

When I got home, I visited the woods behind our house. A year earlier a large an underground spring had bubbled to the surface, wearing away the clay.  I had dammed the new creek to form a ‘pond.’

Not wanting to spend money on my pond, I had scoured the hillside for rocks to outline it. The crumbling sandstone made my pond look like a construction site puddle, only smaller and muddier.

Over time, I expanded the puddle from three feet wide to ten.   I broke down and bought water lilies and pond stones.  Scrap lumber became a bench near the edge of the pond.

As I sat listening to the water trickle over the tiny dam, I thought building my pond was a little like recovery. Recovery was messy, time-consuming, and not always pretty at first, not as difficult later, but still requiring maintenance. I was glad I’d put in the time and effort for both.

Today I will put in the time and effort.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #14
On your first commute back to work you're reminded nobody but you knows how to drive.

Listen

The phone rang again.   A friend of a friend called to ask me to talk to his wife.

“I got a little drunk, and blew $1100 at the casino,” he said. “Maybe you could talk to her, tell her I don’t have a gambling problem.”

I sighed, “I don’t think you’d like what I’d tell her. You have an addictive personality. Everything you do, you do too much. Time to get some help.”

“Why does everyone say that?” he asked, anger seeping into his voice. “Just because people say something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Sometimes people just repeat what they hear, you know.”

“You’re right, you can’t believe everything people say. But, you’d be wise to look at why they’re saying it. Listen with a skeptical ear, but listen.”

He hung up, apparently done listening.  

Today I’ll listen with a skeptical ear, but I’ll listen.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #13

When people stare you remember in restaurants you're supposed to keep your pants buckled even after a big meal, not steal from other people's plates or wander into the kitchen, and hold it in until you get outside.

 Heartbreak

I picked up the phone in my office on the fourth ring.

“I’m so glad you answered,” the woman said. She sounded like she might start to cry. “I’m calling for my son.”  I told her that we’d be happy to help but her son would have to be at least eighteen and he’d have to call on his own.

“He’s 32,” she said. She’d try to get him to call, but he really didn’t want to get help.  I could hear her pain as she described the heartbreak he’d caused.

Some heartbreak is part of life, I thought.  The rest we inflict on ourselves and others, too often chasing or using alcohol and other drugs.  Not going to do that today.

Today I won’t break someone’s heart.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #12

During the Zoom staff meeting your child wanders into the room, points to the screen, and asks in a loud voice, "Is the old guy your poopie head boss?"

The New Abnormal #11

The dentist you're way overdue to see, looks in your mouth, starts to cry, and tells the office manager to cancel the rest of his afternoon appointments.

Put it in Reverse

The next day I got up for work almost an hour later than I used to before the pandemic. Stepping onto the scale, I said, “Put on a little weight.” It may have just been a spring squeaking, but I could have sworn I heard the scale chuckle at the word ‘little’.  My atrocious eating habits had caught up with me.

I looked into the mirror, and saw the grayish white stubble that grew mostly on my neck. “I need a shave,” I said to the mirror. No reply. “Okay, tomorrow then.”

My office was one flight up. For years I had taken the stairs. I got on the elevator and told myself I’d walk down the step when I left.

A friend texted to ask if I knew of any churches that let you bring coffee to their services. She’d gotten used to watching church on TV with a mug in her hand.  ‘They should put a pot in the back,’ she texted. ‘Or maybe hold services at Starbucks and let everyone wear PJs.’

Later that day I started a list of all the bad habits I had slid into during the pandemic. “Time to reverse that trend,” I said to my laptop.

Today I’ll reverse the trend.  

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #10

Working from home is making you a little squirrelly. Each morning you get up, drive around the block, park in your garage under a sign you made that reads 'Reserved Parking,' put your brown bag lunch with your name on it in your refrigerator, sit down at your kitchen table with your laptop, and tell the cat to hold your calls.

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

If Today Was My Eulogy

When the trellis was up, I sat on the deck with Dr. Deb. She saw the smile on my face and asked me what I was thinking.

“Something I wrote a long time ago that I keep coming back to,” I said. “I’d tell you, but I think you’d find it morbid.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“’Live each day like you were writing your eulogy’. If I was going to eulogize myself, based only on today, I’d say, ‘He worked hard.  Spent time with his family.  Made sure people he loved knew it.  Stayed sober.’”

“A little morbid, but not a bad idea,” Dr. Deb said. She laughed. “What about yesterday?”

I laughed. “Spent his time sleeping on the couch. Ate chocolate ice cream by the quart. Refused to move because the cat was on him.”

Today I’ll live my life like I was writing my eulogy.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #9

Instead of putting on your protective suit to go to the grocery story, you convince yourself Cap'n Crunch cereal is sweet, tiny, croutons.

SUMMER WITH THE SLUG RATS

Time

Brat Boy, TyGuy, and Blondie where putting up a trellis.  The trellis stood eight feet tall and ten feet wide, and was framed by heavy wooden planks. Go big or go small.

As we struggled to put the trellis in place, Blondie said, “Grandpa would have loved this.”  I expected to see a tear in her eye, but she was all smiles.

“I was his favorite,” Brat Boy said, laughing. “For obvious reasons.”

Blondie snorted, “I was Grandpa’s favorite, and I’m Dad’s favorite. Know it. Accept it.”

TyGuy said, “Your grandfather told me I was the grandson he always wanted, and he liked me better than you two combined.”   The three of them laughed and traded insults about who was Grandpa’s favorite and why.

Hearing them joke about my father’s passing made me smile. We had all been crushed when he died. Everyone still missed him, but time had worn away much of our sadness, leaving fond memories of a kind soul.

Today I’ll be grateful for time.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/

The New Abnormal #8

You've joined three religions to cover all your bases when you pray for schools to re-open in the fall.

Patience

I sent Ryan an email with yet another question about PowerPoint, webinars, and distance learning.  He replied a few minutes later and offered to stop by my office if I needed more help. When it came to distance learning tech, I was rotary dial, and Ryan was the next generation iPhone. I appreciated his patience.

Later, a long line snaked from the entrance to the parking lot to the drive-through window.  Some inpatient person honked their horn. The line didn’t move any faster. They honked again with no noticeable movement in the line.  I added ‘impatient horn honkers’ to my list of reasons we should all be allowed to Taser three people a year.

Today I’ll be grateful for patient people.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

The New Abnormal #7

Just for fun you sprinkle a little garlic powder on your mate's mask. Later, you laugh hysterically when they say their office smelled like an Italian restaurant all day.

A Sunny Monday

The next day was a sunny Monday. Because of the pandemic, people had canceled my training dates left and right. My June calendar was filled with crossed-out events that looked like tiny bomb craters on my schedule.

About half the people who had canceled had asked me to reserve a date in the fall. It occurred to me that by the end of the year I’d be providing trainings at an exhausting pace.  Or, a second wave of the virus would hit and my schedule would collapse.

I had started turning my face-to-face trainings into webinars, but I much preferred the give and take of a live audiences. My mood started to slide downhill.

Staring out my office window, I decided not to waste a sunny day that was, over a darker future that might be. I got another cup of coffee, stole a peanut butter cup from Daniel-Son’s office, and hoped Ryan wouldn’t mind explaining to me for the umpteenth time how to make the webinar work.

I remembered a slogan I’d heard a long time ago.

Today I won’t borrow sorrow from tomorrow.

Summer with the Slug Rats © 2020 by Ken Montrose

Summer with the Slug Rats is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at: www.greenbriartraining.com https://www.pinterest.com/kenmontrose/mt-rose/