Fawlty Showers 2

Sugar-Free Honesty

We stood together for a moment or two. I wanted to tell him he was definitely going to recover, that he would become a great father.

Instead, I said, “You can do it.”

He laughed. “They pay you to say I’m going to recover.”

I laughed too. “I’m not saying you will. I’m saying you can.”

We talked about his chances and how he could improve them.  I was honest with him about the difficulties ahead.

“Damn. I liked it better when I thought you were saying I would recover. Do you have to be brutally honest?”

“Means I’m being honest when I say you can.”

 

Today I’ll encourage someone without sugarcoating their situation.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2
 

Essentially

After group, I took the young man aside. He told me how much he wanted to stay sober and be a good father.

 “Do you know how you stay sober a long time, how you become an AA oldtimer?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“You don’t drink and you don’t die.”

He looked out the window and said, “Gotta be more to it than that.”

“There is, but that’s where it starts. Not drinking isn’t enough, but it’s essential. You want to be a good father? Be dependable. It’s not enough, but it’s essential.”

He finally looked at me. “And you can’t be dependable if you’re drunk all the time. I get it. Start with the essentials.”

 

Today I will start with the essentials.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Bricklayer

The next day at work I explained to the group the difference between a brick stacker and a bricklayer.

“You can stack bricks to look like a wall, but it won’t hold up. A bricklayer arranges them in a pattern, and applies mortar. 

"The brick can be knowledge, a degree, a trade, maybe a position in life. The pattern is the daily habits providing strength and purpose to one’s life. Mortar is whatever holds it together, makes it real.”

I asked them how that applied to recovery.

“You can know all the slogans, but you’ll just be a dry drunk if you don’t practice them.”

“You can go through the Steps once to get them done or you can live them to really change.”

I nodded and asked the group to apply to the message to life.

“You can quote good and famous people, but it’s just memorization if you don’t follow their examples,” a woman said.  

 A young man is late twenties stared at his shoes and wiped away a tear. “Get her pregnant and you’re a name on a birth certificate. You have to take care of the kid to say you’re a father.”

I said to him, “When you leave here, you have a second chance to be a bricklayer, to be a father.”

 

Today I’ll be a bricklayer, not a brick stacker.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

Progress Not Perfection

Just then, because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, my phone rang. Talmadge had given The Preacher my number.

Slashing Talmadge’s tires would be wrong, I thought.  I’ll just let the air out of them.

The Preacher wanted to hear my opinion of his lead. I hesitated. In my head pathological politeness fought with rising anger.

I debated how to respond.  Your lead gave me an understanding of the human condition I shall cherish for all time.  You suck, somebody should remove your vocal cords.

“I think you gave people something to think about, but you really need to say less if you want people to hear you.”

He started to say more, but I cut him off. “Think about what I just said,” I added and hung up.

“I listened, but not until I was resentful,” I said to myself. “Progress not perfection.”

I wondered if there weren’t other areas of my life where ‘progress not perfection’ applied.

 

Today I’ll seek progress not perfection.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers 2

The Worst

When I got home Dr. Deb and Blondie were watching TV in the living room.

I told them about The Preacher’s long lead. “I get a little annoyed when people talk too much,” I admitted.

“More than a little annoyed,” Dr. Deb said, laughing. “Your face becomes a mask of rage and fury.”

“I think your exaggerating just a little,” I said.

“Daddy, I’ve seen you glare at your phone for a full minute after you’ve listened to a long one-sided conversation,” Blondie said.

They were right.  My resentment was way out of proportion. People like The Preacher who droned on and on brought out the worst in me.

Everybody has something that brings out the worst in them, I thought, but the worst was already there. The trick was to figure out how it got there. 

 

Today I’ll take a look at the worst in me before someone or something brings it out.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

 Fawlty Showers 2

Blessing in Disguise
At the end of the meeting I got in line to thank the speaker.  The Preacher had gone on and on, as I had expected.  I tried to make a list of blessings in disguise. 

I didn’t share The Preacher’s need for constant attention. I was grateful for that.

My job involved a lot of public speaking.  The Preacher’s lead reminded me to keep things brief.

I had no doubt he spoke from his heart.  In his case the heart was an empty, needy place he’d once filled with alcohol.  He’d yet to find something to fill the void.  I was grateful I had.

The Preacher’s lead had made my ears bleed, but it truly was a blessing in disguise.  I wondered if there  more I’d overlooked.

Today I’ll look for blessings in disguise.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Patience Practice

I got to the AA meeting late that night. As I grabbed a seat in the back, the chairmen introduced the speaker.

His real name was Toby, but we called him The Preacher because every conversation with him was a lengthy sermon.

I thought about sneaking out of the meeting, but Margaret the Newbie had seen me walk in. I didn’t want to set a bad example.

My first sponsor had told me to try being grateful for long sermons, boring classes, and long-winded speakers. “They give you a chance to practice being patient.”

‘Don’t I get enough practice?’ I asked myself. I could feel the impatience building. ‘Apparently not,’ I answered.

As The Preacher droned on, I made myself relax, and tried to be grateful for the practice.

 

Today I’ll try to be grateful for whatever teaches me patience.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 Fawlty Showers 2

Bike

I rode my bike that afternoon for the first time since I’d fallen off a few weeks earlier.  I had tried to pass a slow group,  and slid off the trail. My front tire had hit a hole, stopping my momentum. I flew over my handlebars, cracking my helmet on the crushed stone.

The accident had reminded me that on a bike, and in life, as long as you were going forward, you weren’t falling over. This was true no matter how fast or slow you went.

The trouble, I thought, is you might wobble a little when you go slow, or get scared when you feel you’re going too fast.  You’re tempted to stop and put your feet down. If you do, life, like the other riders on a bike trail,  passes you by.

 “Gotta keep moving,” I said to my bike. “Please, no sudden stops today, OK?”

 

Today I will move forward.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                    www.greenbriartraining.com 

•                    https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Audience

On my way out I stopped to talk to a client court-ordered to treatment. He’d had three DUIs.  Even after his third DUI, his family did not support him getting sober.  They mocked him for trying.

His parents were big drinkers. He’d been the only kid who’d brought his lunch to school in a velvet Crown Royal bag. His sister Connie’s nickname in high school had been ‘Connabis’.

“I knew a guy whose in-laws found fault with everything he did,” I said. “Just couldn’t please them.”

“What did he do?” the young man asked.

“He stopped trying.  Made his wife and children his sole audience. Now his grown kids love him.  He’s been happily married for 30 years.”

He looked sad, but he smiled.

I added, “Right now the judge is your audience. If you believe in God, your Higher Power is your audience. You are your audience.”

“I can choose to play to the audience that wants to see me succeed,” he said. “I think I get it.”

 

Today I’ll choose my audience.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

FAWLTY SHOWERS 2

Rewards

It took me most of the day to finish filling out the forms I needed to keep our courses approved in several states.

When I was done, my eyes were tired, and my temples ached. I was thrilled to be done shuffling papers for the day.

At my burnout trainings I asked the audience what they would order for a last meal before they were executed. After they’d tell me, I’d suggest they reward themselves with that meal.

 “Working as hard as you do, you’ve certainly earned it.”

“It’s nice to get outside rewards,” I’d tell them, “but reward yourself as well.”

I rewarded myself by leaving work half an hour early so I’d have time to ride my bike before dinner.

 

Today I’ll reward myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Do It Anyway

When I sat down in my office I realized I had no desire whatsoever to work.

I thought about a story a therapist at one of my trainings had told me.

His client had walked three miles in a blizzard to meet his dealer.  The man traded his prize possession, a full-length down Philadelphia Eagles coat, and the last little bit of money he had, for heroin. He then walked home through the blinding snow in just a T-shirt.

This same man had called the therapist to say he didn’t feel like going to an NA meeting three blocks away. A light spring rain was falling.

“What did you tell him?” I had asked the therapist.

“I told him to do it anyway.  If people only did what they felt like doing the world would grind to a halt.”

I doubted the world would grind to a halt if I didn’t finish the paperwork piling up on my desk, but I took his advice.  With a heavy sigh, I did it anyway.

 

Today I’ll do it anyway.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Childish/Childlike

After the meeting I heard an argument from the group room.  Two grown men were yelling at each other over a chair.

I looked around the room. There were ten people and fifteen chairs.

“Could you two be any more childish?” I asked. They began arguing through me, starting with “He sat in my chair,” and “He thinks he’s the boss of me.”

At first I thought they were acting like little kids. Then I remembered the girls next door laughing in delight as they raced down the steep hill in my backyard.

Mostly to myself, I said, “Childish is fighting over stupid things. Childlike is finding the joy in little things.”

They stared at me. “What the #$%@& are you talking about?” one snarled.   

‘Play time is over,’ I thought.

I pointed to the first guy, “You’re on probation. If you get kicked out, you go to jail.” The other guy snickered. “You need a letter from us to get back to work.”

I pointed to chairs on opposite ends of the room. They sat down. I walked back to my office, taking a childlike delight in the quiet.

Today I’ll try to be more childlike than childish.

  

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Maybe Some Good Will Come Of It

Katy was beaming when she walked into the staff meeting that morning. 

“Pregnancy going well?” I asked.

“My ex just texted me he won’t be paying child-support because the baby could be anybody’s.”

I stared for a moment. “He’s dodging his responsibilities and questioning your morals. I’m not sure why that makes you happy.”

“He didn’t know it, but I didn’t really need his support. What I needed was him out of my life. A good thing came from a bad situation.”

I thought of the ways I’d seen good come from a bad situation. My drinking had gotten bad, but sobriety taught me to enjoy everything else in life. 

A friend had discovered he wasn’t cut out for the military within a week of enlisting, but had learned self-discipline that served him well in civilian life.

Another friend had beaten two bouts of cancer as a child. He became a doctor because he so admired the doctors who’d saved his life.

This list went on.

Today I’ll be grateful when good comes from a bad situation.

  

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Easy Does It

Then I did what I always did when I knew I needed to shed a few pounds. I made ridiculous plans in my head. I’d get up at 4:30 and pedal for an hour before work.  I’d go on an ice-cube and air diet. I’d visit my in-laws in New Jersey, and jog home to Pittsburgh.

Or I could get back on a sensible diet, exercise a little more, eat a little less, and slowly get back to a healthier weight. “Easy does it,” I said to myself.

People new to recovery are told “Easy Does It.” One meaning of the slogan is ‘don’t take on new responsibilities until you’ve been sober awhile.’ Don’t start a business, go back to school, or take out a mortgage until you’ve settled into recovery.

Another meaning, one that applies to more than just sobriety, is don’t get frustrated by the pace of change. Don’t expect someone to forgive your decades of neglect in ten days.  Your mind and body won’t heal overnight. 

I packed myself a single sandwich for lunch. When I got to work, I put my hidden boxes of cookies in the group room for everyone to eat.

Today I’ll remember ‘Easy Does It.’

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Fooling Around

The next morning I got on the bathroom scale. A really big number came up. I got off the scale, dried my hair, and got back on. The same number appeared.

I pondered the reasons for my apparent weight gain. All you can eat buffets? Skipped workouts? The boxes of cookies I’d paid cash for and hidden at work?

“Hon, I think the scale is broken,” I yelled down to Dr. Deb. I half believed it.

Then that pesky voice of reason in my head started listing how people fooled themselves, in big ways and small.

It’s not alcohol in general, just tequila that’s the problem. I’m just going to look, I’m not going to buy anything. Coke is a hobby, crack and meth are addictive. I’m gonna watch just one episode.

I said to the voice, “OK, those people are fooling themselves, but the scale really could be broken.”

 

Today I won’t underestimate my ability to fool myself.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•  www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

Choices

I had no doubt The Dope had his faults, but I wondered if Dana’s loathing of the kid had taken on a life of its own.  Hating him seemed to be her favorite pastime.

“She spends a lot of time with him,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “He must have some good qualities.”

“What can I tell you?” Dana asked, her face a mask of fury. “The idiot makes her happy.” She shot me a look that made my bowels clench.

I eyed my escape route. I could toss her DD. She’d have to catch the bunny. I could run out the door.  What if she just swatted him to the ground? I put the ‘throw the rabbit and run’ option on hold.  

I let Dana cool down for a moment.

I said, “You know we don’t get anybody sober here. We help people choose to get sober, but the choice is always theirs. We can’t get upset every time someone relapses.”

“And my daughter is free to choose a human dishrag for a boyfriend. I get it. Choices.”

“We don’t have to like people’s choices, but ranting and raving over our powerlessness to change them only adds to the misery.”

After Dana left I told DD I never really considered tossing him to Dana. His ears twitched. He wasn’t buying it.

 

Today I’ll remember I’m powerless over people’s choices.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

• www.greenbriartraining.com 
• https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

Fawlty Showers 2

Might Happen

Dana practically bounced into my office, a bag of black licorice in hand. She extended the bag to me.

“What are we celebrating?” I asked, taking two pieces.

“She’s not pregnant,” Dana said. “Not even a little.”

I started to say something about pregnancy being an either/or thing, not a little/lot one, but asked instead, “Who’s not pregnant?”

“The Princess. I spent the last two weeks worrying about what I’d do if The Dope Without Hope got my daughter pregnant in Mexico.”

As I chewed on the licorice, Dana added, “I knew I was worrying about something that hadn’t yet happened, but I couldn’t stop myself from making all kinds of insane plans.”

“So you worried for nothing.”

Dana nodded, “Next time I won’t throw The Dope off the proverbial bridge until we come to it.” She took a bite of licorice. “So to speak, although I won’t rule out throwing him off an actual bridge.”

 

Today I try not to worry about things that only might happen.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

Muscle Amnesia

Muscle memory is doing the same thing over and over until your muscles react automatically. 

I experienced muscle amnesia as I picked up a basketball for the first time in years. I stepped just inside the three point line and shot with what I thought was perfect form.

Nothing but net. The ball didn’t go through the hoop, it just grazed the outside of the net, near the bottom, as the shot fell short.

If there was muscle memory, and apparently muscle amnesia, could there also be spiritual memory and spiritual amnesia I wondered? People forgetting what they believed as they stopped practicing those beliefs?

I’d seen recovery memory give way to recovery amnesia. People with years of sobriety relapsing because they’d stop practicing what got them sober.

Sadly, I’d seen relationship amnesia too many times. Couples drifting apart as they stopped doing whatever had brought them together.

I stepped closer to the hoop, and clanged a shot off the rim.

 

Today I will beware of amnesia of any sort.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S 

Fawlty Showers 2

I took the next day off.  Over the years I'd fallen into the bad habit of burning vacation days.  When I did, I not only felt a little foolish, I heard the voice of my first sponsor.  

"HALT, Ken," he'd say. "Don't let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired." 

He'd tell me to be careful of two things. One, making yourself busy can be a way to avoid working on the things you really need to focus on. 

And two, letting your ego convince you that you are too important to take time to yourself.  

I thought of all the people in my past whose voices I still heard giving me sound advice. 

Today I’ll be grateful for all the wise voices I still hear.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

FAWLTY SHOWERS 2

Miss Obvious, 2021

The next morning I wrote and posted my blog. A day later I realized I had typed ‘conscious’ when I meant ‘conscience.’  I’d read the paragraph many times before I posted it, but missed the obvious error.

Feeling incredibly dumb, I made a list of people I’d known who’d missed the obvious, hoping to convince myself I was just average-dumb.

The guy with three DUIs who refused to see he had a problem with alcohol.  “The cops are out to get me!” They got him parked on a major highway, passed out drunk.

The couple who seemed to forget credit card companies expect to be paid. Ditto the IRS. And the car loan people. Same as mortgage lenders.  “Hey Ken, we bought a boat.”  Name it ‘Sinking in Debt.’

The dad yelling at his kid, not seeing he was lucky to have such a happy little boy who just didn’t like sports. “He’s going to the Super Bowl someday.” Only if he has a ticket.

I added our cat to the list. No matter how many times I explained his job to him, he continued to bring small critters into the house.

I made a second list of other times I’d missed the obvious, hoping not to repeat past mistakes.

Today I’ll try not to miss the obvious.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

 

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•             www.greenbriartraining.com 

•             https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S