Fawlty Showers 2

 

Half Measures

I ran group the next morning. After I told them about Talmadge’s conversation with our waitress, I gave them a task.

“I want you to say a kind word about yourself,” I said. “If you can’t think of anything else, I want you to congratulate yourself on trying. Not everyone who comes to rehab works as hard as you guys have.”

The first person said he was trying.

The second person said she was learning to forgive.

The third person said each day he tried to be half the jackass he was the day before.

The group laughed. Someone said they’d never thought he was much of a jackass.

“We all have the potential to be a jackass,” he said. “Go to any kids’ sporting event, listen to the parents in the stands, and you’ll know that’s true.”

The group laughed. A few nodded, a few more looked embarrassed.

The man added, “If each day you try to be a little better person – half the jackass – than you were the day before, you’ll always have a little jackass in you, but it will take a lot more to bring it out.”  

 

Today I’ll try to be half the jackass I was the day before.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

A Kind Word

The owner of the restaurant warned us service might be a little slow. “A waiter tore his ACL and a waitress went into labor.”

Twenty minutes after we were seated, our waitress apologized for making us wait as she handed us menus and silverware. Clearly, she was struggling to keep up.

Talmadge, the king of sarcasm, touched her forearm. I waited for some cutting remark.

Instead, he patted his big belly and said, “Honey, you worry about me last. Doesn’t seem likely I’ll starve waiting for my food.”

At the end of the evening, Talmadge said to her, “Enjoyed the meal. I appreciate how hard you worked.  Some people would have just called off.”

She smiled, some of the tension draining from her face.  

Talmadge’s kind words hadn’t lightened her load, but they had made her struggle more bearable. I made a mental note to find a kind word for someone struggling at the rehab.

 

Today I’ll find a kind word for someone struggling.

 

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 Habitual

My homegroup was canceled that week.  The church where we held the meeting was renovating their basement. 

Talmadge texted to let me know some people were getting together at a restaurant.  The place had a patio were dogs were allowed, which meant Epiphany could bring Mojo.

I didn’t think missing one week was going to break my sobriety.  On the other hand, I’d seen people drift away from good habits a little at a time.

More people than I could count went to the gym regularly, missed a workout or two, then three or four, and then stopped going.

Other people committed to eating healthy, cheated a little here, a little there, and ended up on the chocolate, Doritos, and pizza diet.

Most people I knew who relapsed drifted into drinking again by drifting away from whatever good habits got them sober.

‘I’ll be there,’ I texted Talmadge. Gotta safeguard that good habit, I thought.

 

Today I’ll safeguard good habits.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Fawlty Showers 2 will return on Monday. In the meantime, here's the excerpt from Home Groupies II:

A body at rest

After I got of the phone with Robert I went upstairs.  My wife was in our bedroom perusing the onscreen TV guide.  She stopped on a movie I had wanted to see.

            “That looks good,” she said.  “Hey guys, there’s a movie on in here.” My son, not old enough to master that blasé teenage attitude, came bounding into the room.

            “I love movie night!” he said.  He rushed back out of the room to put on his pj’s.  He detoured into the bathroom to brush his teeth, but the time he spent suggested he most likely brushed a tooth or two at best.

            My daughter wandered into our bedroom, and said, “I call mom.”  She plopped down next to her mother.  “You move around too much,” she said to me.

            My son curled up next to me. “I love movie nights!” he said.

            “I do too,” I said.  There were a lot of things I could have been doing, but I wasn’t leaving the room for anything.

 

Today I will remember a smart body at rest in a good place tends to stay at rest in that place.

Home Groupies II (c) 2012 by Ken Montrose

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Fawlty Showers 2 will return on Monday 8/29. In the meantime, here's an excerpt from Home Groupies III:

Good luck

I received an email promising good luck if I forwarded it, and a painful death if I didn’t.  For half a second I thought about forwarding the message, just to be safe.  Then I thought about a brain cell, known by other brain cells for its common sense, throwing up because I did something so nonsensical.  I feared the vomiting brain cell might cause me to twitch and spill my coffee onto my laptop, which would be really bad luck.  I deleted the message instead.

 

Today I will use my common sense.

Home Groupies III (c)  2012 by Ken Montrose

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

 Fawlty Showers 2 will return Monday 8/29. In the meantime here's a quote from Home Groupies, the first daily message book I wrote:

Change will do you good                                                                                            Tuesday, 1/20

Change can sneak up on you.  Tuesday afternoon I was five minutes late for a Bring Your Parent lunch at my daughter’s school.  There she sat in the cafeteria, a double lunch on her tray.  As I wiggled into the elementary school lunch table, I asked her if she was worried I wouldn’t show up.

“You always show up,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and pushing a child-sized portion of breaded meatballs my way.  I was amazed.  Nobody ever considered me reliable; not in my drinking days, and not for years after I got sober.  The change had occurred without me noticing.  Sometimes the rewards of recovery are a complete surprise.

 

Today I will take stock and savor the rewards of recovery.

Home Groupies (c) 2009 by Ken Montrose

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

Fawlty Showers 2  will return on Monday 8/29.  

In the meantime here's a post from Smart Bears/Angry Rats,

Adapting

"Did you get help when you got sober?" my son asked as he read over my shoulder.

"I did," I said.  "I didn't like asking for help, but I did."

"What made you ask for help?"

"I'd hit a ledge on my way down into my addiction.  I was afraid I'd go even lower.  But, I was more afraid I'd get used to living on the bottom.  People have an amazing ability to adapt. Sometimes that's a good thing.  Sometimes it lets them adapt to situations they'd be better off changing.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yep!  It's like when you and mom had Blondie, you realized you'd hit rock bottom.  For a couple of years you lived in misery.  You were afraid you'd get used it, you'd adapt.  So you had me, the perfect child.  We swam toward the surface, dragging whatshername behind us."

"You're killing me," I said with a laugh. 

 

Today I will beware of adapting to situations I'd be better off changing. 

Smart Bears, Angry Rats (c) 2015 by Ken Montrose

Other works by Ken Montrose are available from:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Fawlty Showers 2 will return on 8/29!

In the meantime, here's one of my favorites from a previous series:

Buggy

By noon that day I was painfully aware of how many people needed the services of an entomologist/proctologist.  I took a deep breath, and decided not to let their issues spoil my day. Instead, I called an old friend, texted my children, and joked with our intern.  Doing so made letting go of any budding resentment much easier.

 

Today I will not let other people’s bugs bug me.

AArdvarks (c) 2013 by Ken Montrose  

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Get Out of My Yard Elsa

I was beating myself up over the sorry state of the pond as I walked up the hill to my house.

The neighborhood kids were still outside playing.  

One little girl asked me if I wanted to hear a joke.

“Why can’t you give Elsa from Frozen a balloon?” she asked.

“I don’t know, why can’t you give Elsa from Frozen a balloon?”

“Because she’ll just let it go.  See, the song from that movie is…”

“I get it,” I said, laughing. “Now get out of my yard you rotten kids.” They laughed too as I chased them.

I smiled as I walked into the house.

“The easiest way to let go of something is to pick up something else,” I said to the cat.   “I let go of my anger with myself by picking up the fun of playing ‘rotten kids/mean old man’ with the girls next door.”

The cat purred.

 

Today I’ll let something go by picking up something else instead.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Frogget You

After work I went down to my pond to relax and collect my thoughts.

I’d been tied up over the summer with various projects and hadn’t had time to maintain it.

Deer had eaten all the lily pads and shoreline plants. Muck had settled on the bottom leaving just inches of water above. Weeds grew in the cracks between the paving stones.

“More of a swamp than a pond,” I said to the frog glaring up at me from the murky water. The pond was his home, he had every right to be angry.

It was mid-August.  I was tempted to wait until spring to fix it. I thought of all things people put off repairing until they had little or no time to enjoy them, starting with relationships.  

“The sooner I fix this, the longer we’ll have to enjoy it,” I said to the frog.  He didn’t say anything, taking a wait and see attitude.

 

Today I’ll start repairs that I can enjoy tomorrow.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

“Into every life, a little rain must fall.”

As we ate lunch in the staff room, I couldn’t help but notice the sadness.  We weren’t depressed, just down over Abigail’s passing.

I tried to lighten the mood, but was met with blank stares.

Each in our own way, had found something annoying about Abigail, but we still missed her.

As I ate in silence, I thought how sometimes the best you could do was wade through your sadness, rather than avoiding it.

People who self-medicated their sadness often found the ‘medicine’ had side effects. As a friend used to say ‘drowning your sorrows only adds tears and pee to the puddle.’  

People who ignored their grief seemed to never fully get over it.

Some people hid their sadness in anger, until anger became their new addiction.

“Can’t go around it,” I said softly. “Got to go through it.”

 

If today, or any other day, I’m sad, I will wade through it.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Horsing Around

The next morning, I lead a group on recovering after relapse.

“Before you get back on the horse that threw you, make peace with the animal,” I said to the group. “Anybody remember what that means?”

“If you want to ride off into the sunset, you gotta figure out why you got thrown in the first place.” A middle-aged man in the front said.  I asked for examples.

“If you relapse, you have to figure out why, and not do that again. Otherwise you’ll just get thrown off your recovery again.”

“If you fail on one diet, you have to figure out what foods triggered you.”

“After your third divorce,” a man in the back said with a heavy sigh, “maybe you should consider part of the problem is you.”

The group laughed. Someone said, “Everybody loves you Lou.”

“I can think of three women who don’t,” Lou muttered.

“We all have horses we want to try riding again, getting in shape, being more spiritual, learning something, whatever.  The trick is to make peace with the horse before we try to ride again.”

 

Today I’ll make peace with the animal that threw me.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Triggers

The next day I was riding my bike on the Montour Trail when I smelled charcoal just beginning to burn.  Someone who lived near the trail was cooking out.

I smiled, remembering my dad grilling burgers in the backyard.

The smell would make my mouth water. I remembered the flare ups he said gave the burgers flavor.  He’d top them with a slice of Velveeta almost too thick to melt. 

So many things trigger people’s anger. A change in seasons triggers depression for some folks. In the rehab we warn people to avoid relapse triggers, reminders of their drug of choice. 

I peddled along, grateful for things that trigger good memories.

 

Today I’ll be grateful for whatever triggers a good memory.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

Passing the Drug Screen

When I got home I grabbed a cookie, broke it in half, and put the other half back in the tin.

“On a diet?” Dr. Deb asked.

“I have my physical in two weeks,” I said. “I’m cutting back on sweets before they check my blood sugar.”

“You’re like the guy who stops using just long enough to pass a drug screen, instead of admitting he has a problem, changing his behavior.”

“Nuh uh,” I said, wondering how she could ever counter an argument as logical and persuasive as ‘nuh uh.’

“You’re like the guy who makes a big deal on special occasions, but otherwise neglects his girlfriend.”

“Am not.”

“You’re like…”

“OK, I get it. I need to do more than ‘pass the drug screen.’” 

 

Today I’ll do more than ‘pass the drug screen.’

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible
 

Fawlty Showers 2

Missing

At the end I stood in line to thank the speaker. The line moved quickly without The Preacher.

Usually, The Preacher jumped up first so he could share his story and opinions with whoever spoke that night.  He went on and on and on.

I felt bad for The Preacher being in jail, but I didn’t miss him.

It seemed cold, but I made a mental gratitude list of people I didn’t have to deal with, who I didn’t miss.  I started with the depressed, broke, drunken version of me.

 

Today I’ll be grateful for the people I don’t miss.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

Gifted

The speaker that night was one of the best story tellers I’d ever heard. She had a gift for making the routine interesting and the dramatic come alive.

I thought of other people whose gifts made life so much better.

I remembered friends from college who played guitar; there was nothing like live music.

Gifted writers and books I hadn’t been able to put down.

Athletes who amazed me with their determination and ability.

I picked up my phone and looked all the apps. Brilliant people who made the technology I’d mostly taken for granted.

Life could be hard. People could be thoughtless, but people could also make life joyful, entertaining, and inspiring by sharing their talents. I was grateful for that.  

 

Today I’ll be grateful for other people’s gifts.

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

 

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Do You See What I See?

At the AA meeting that night Talmadge asked me about The Preacher.

“He didn’t see this coming?” Talmadge asked, wondering how The Preacher ended up in jail.  

“He didn’t want to,” I said. “I went to his house to water his plants.  Saw a stack of unopened registered mail sitting on his kitchen counter.”

“So, he signed for the letters, knowing they probably had something to do with his case, but didn’t open them?”

 “Pretty much,” I said.

“Pretty stupid,” Talmadge answered.

I shrugged. “Human nature to not see what we don’t want to see. How long did you refuse to see you had a drinking problem?”

Talmadge nodded. “There are none so blind as those who will not see.”

“Who said that?”

“I did. Just now.”

 

Today I’ll beware of not seeing what I don’t want to see.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Carlotta Cookies

Brat Boy and Blondie were in the kitchen eating cookies when I got home that night.

“Your mother made cookies?” I asked.  Blondie pointed to a tin on the counter.

The note on the lid read ‘These cookies are for Ken, and Ken alone.’ Smiley face.  

Brat Boy’s girlfriend Carlotta Cookies had promised to make a batch for me. I’d asked her to include a note making it clear who the cookies were for.

At work that day it had seemed as if people were competing to see who could be the least likeable.  Carlotta’s cookies were just one more reason to like her.

I decide the next time a few folks were getting me down, I’d write a list of what I liked about other people in my life.

 

Today I’ll write a list of what I like about the people in my life.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Before You Hit the Wall

After I spoke to the patients, I went back to my office and put DD the Bunny on my lap. 

My phone rang.  The Preacher was calling from the Allegheny County Jail.

The Preacher had decided he wasn’t going to pay child support.  The Judge had decided The Preacher wasn’t going to sleep at home for the next six to twelve months.  

To my utter amazement, The Preacher sounded humble.  “I saw this coming, and I didn’t change directions,” he said.

He told me where his key was hidden and asked if I could water his plants.

I had driven drunk many times, knowing I needed to change directions. It wasn’t until I hit the county sheriff that I stopped.

“Why don’t we change directions before we hit the wall?” I asked DD. 

DD the Bunny twitched his ears. He didn’t know either.   

 

Today I won’t wait to hit the wall before I change direction.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

Diamonds

When it came time to speak to our patients about Abigail’s passing, I tore up my carefully written speech.

“I was going to give the usual glowing eulogy, but that’s not what Abigail wanted. So, just a few thoughts on her passing.”

I looked around the room. So many sad faces.

“Abigail was a control freak’s control freak, and trust me, it could be annoying as hell.”

Heads nodded. A few people laughed.

“But she could also be inspiring. She wanted desperately to help other people.  She was a diamond in that regard. That’s what I’ll remember about her.”

I hesitated, not sure what to say next.

“A finished diamond has its flaws. A diamond in the rough doesn’t look like a diamond.  They’re still diamonds.

“I hope, no matter your flaws, no matter how rough you or your life may be, you still see the diamond, in yourself and others.  It’s what Abigail wanted for you.”

 

Today I’ll see the diamond, regardless of the flaws.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible

Fawlty Showers 2

 

WOW

The next morning at work the phone rang at 6:00 a.m.

“I need an evaluation,” the man said. “WOW’s idea.”

“Wow?” I asked.

“Witch Of a Wife. WOW.”

He droned on for ten minutes, explaining all the things making WOW angry. 

Apparently, she thought him passing out at her boss’s party was a big deal.  She didn’t understand you had insurance because you expected to wreck a car or three.  

“I had a few beers and kissed her sister,” he said. “So sue me.”

The world never lacked for angry, unreasonable people.  Maybe his wife was one of them.

On the other hand, I wanted to ask him if maybe, just maybe, he was part of the problem.

I looked back and laughed at the times I had thought people were being unreasonable, when maybe part of the problem was my drinking.

 

Today, I’ll consider that maybe, just maybe, I’m part of the problem.

 

Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.

Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:

•                     www.greenbriartraining.com  

•                     https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S

 

#addictionawareness #dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible