Relapse, Recovery, and Snowblowers
I went to my office and got online. I young woman in a
recovery group I followed had relapsed.
A long line of people had left encouraging tweets. I wanted to add an analogy to help her think
about her situation.
I told her early recovery, and any other major change,
reminded me of an ancient snowblower I had bought secondhand.
The engine had a little red primer button that fed a tiny
bit of gas to the cylinder. You had to pump it four or five times before you pulled
the starter cord.
The first pull was tough because the engine oil was cold and
so was I. I was always tempted to just
give up.
The second pull was always a little easier, but still hard.
Sometimes the engine would fire once or twice but not start.
I’d hit the primer again.
The third, fourth, and fifth pulls would fire the engine, but it would
quickly die.
I’d hit the primer again, then pull even though my arm was
tired. The engine would cough to life
and run, spitting and sputtering.
The engine had a choke that regulated how much air got mixed
with the gas. I’d adjust the choke until the engine ran smoothly.
The primer was like all the reasons you wanted to stop doing
something. You might have to remind
yourself several times.
The pull was making the effort, even after you’d failed,
were tired, or just wanted to give up.
The choke reminded me of the messages you got from the ‘air’
around you. Most people needed some encouragement the way an engine needed air.
The engine running was when the changes you made took hold
and became almost automatic.
The trick was to keep trying, make adjustments, and not give
up.
Today I won’t give up.
Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.
Other works by Ken Montrose are available at:
•
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K8MG0S
#addictionawareness
#dailymessage #inspiration #odaat #recoveryposse #recoveryispossible
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